Savory Curry Popcorn (In a Lunchbag!) and LOL epitaphs

Hello readers!

Is it me, or is the blogosphere rather dead on Saturdays? Anyhow, today I had my first day off in a long while. My one day without any obligations. I do have to assist in a yoga class on sunday (today) but it’s nice to have a weekend without work or school.

Plus, its Halloween!

I wasn’t quiet sure on what to write about as I pretty much have no plans this Halloween and I’ve already blabbed about Halloween past. So I thought I’d entertain you with a few epitaphs for your decorative tombstones you may want to put on your lawn. Dont ask me how I came up with these. Let me just say that I spent three hours in traffic on friday bored out of my mind. Oddly enough, these are what I came up with:

“Here Lies The Pillsbury Dough Boy. He will rise again.”

“I told you the milk expired!”

“Tim Reeces. May He Rest in Pieces”

“You Can’t Tickle Me Now!”-Elmo

“Feel that slight breeze on the back of your neck? That’s me.”

“Bite my wrinkly decomposing ass!”

“Rob R. Duckie. You Are The One”

“My Dog Was Not So Cuddley”

“Pimp My Hearse”

“I’m Still On Facebook”

“I.R.P.  Here lies Donimic, a disslexick”

“An Overdose of Redbull Gave Him Wings”

“Stop Crying! I’m dead! Get Over It!”

Any funny ideas to add to the list?

I don’t know about you, but my sweet tooth kind of reduces a notch during halloween. I just feel like there are sweet things everywhere. So I conjured up a savory and festive snack thats so cheap to make and easy peasy to do:

  • 1/4 cup popcorn kernels
  • 2 teaspoons olive oil
  • 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt or garlic salt
  • 1/4 tsp curry powder
  • 1/4 tsp cumin
  • Paper lunch bag
  • Stapler

Toss the popcorn with the olive oil, salt, curry powder, and cumin in the paper bag.

when I made popcorn on the stove top at my desserts class last week, I asked them if they knew what the kernels are. They said, "popcorn seeds!"

Fold the top of the bag over and staple the bag twice to close. Place the bag in the microwave and microwave on high for 2 minutes to 3 minutes, or until there are about 5 seconds between pops.

And for your viewing pleasure, this happened last Halloween. Watch it till the end!

Tag, I’m It

I again was so busy today, so no excited recipe, but thankfully, Amanda tagged me so I at least have something to post! woop woop.

1. Favorite flavor of ice cream? chocolate, any which way

2. Do you say soda or pop? Or something completely different? Is there a difference??? I guess soda, cause I associate pop with poptarts or popcorn or pop music….

3. If you could travel anywhere for a month, where would you go? If it were less time I’d go to India, but I’m afraid I wouln’t be able to handle it for a month. I’d love to go to Australia again.

4. Favorite thing about blogging? I think the support and friends you make. When you feel crappy, you can vent and people tend to understand. Or they simply stop reading, but regardless, you feel someone out there cares about you.

5. Do you prefer tricks or treats? tricks……yes, tricks!

6. Are emoticons annoying or fun? I think they are fun if you dont abuse them. Some people abuse them and then it just turn to creepy.

7. Would you rather spend your vacation relaxing by the beach or hiking through a rainforest? I think hiking on a beach. I love hiking but I dunno about the rainforest. They tend to be humid, right? I can’t stand in humidity, let alone hike in it.

8. Have you ever been stung by a bee? yep. I was in fifth grade on a field trip to an outdoor shakespeare play of A Midsummer Nights Dream. It was no dream.

I apologize for a short and sweet post. I have the weekend off from yoga school so plenty of time to whip out new recipes and thoughts.


O right…..I need to tag people…hmmmmm…..

Amanda tagged seven so I guess this means I gotta do seven as well. I’m not sure I have more then seven readers on daily basis that would find out they would get tagged! O, well….

So I’m tagging Astrid (cause I know she won’t kill me for doing so), Abby (because I could talk her out of killing me), Heather, ToriJamie, Tatianna , Christine (who’s giveaway I won and NOT because of some random generator, but because her brother makes wise decisions!), and Jolene.

Here are my batch of questions:

1) What was your favorite game to play as a child? (I think mine is a tossup between chutes and ladders and candyland)

2)Would you rather be good looking or rich? (honestly? good looking. shallow, I know)

3)If someone wrote a book about your life, what would they title it? (I’ve written about this before, either “Dont bother me, I’m eating” or “Never trust a skinny chef”

4) Have you ever eaten something not exactly edible? if so, what? (I had some play dough as a kid. Is it really sick today its not that bad, salty!)

5) What did you want to be as a kid?

6) Halloween candy of choice? (hmm….I can always eat a twix or snickers, but I think milk duds are kinda rare so thats my answer: milk duds!)

7) weirdest thing you got trick or treating? (I got a ziploc bag full of pennies and this one year, I’m ashamed to say my mom handed out Quaker chewy bars because we never got trick or treaters so we didn’t prepare. I sweat she pulled out a whole box of cereal but I stopped her.)

8) Who is the last person you called? (my roommate, but it went straight to voicemail. No one picks up the phone anymore)

If I didn’t tag you, feel free to comment and answer! I’d love to hear from you (yes, readers and lurkers too!)

And PS, I cannot believe less than a week from now I’ll be at Foodbuzz. Just had to say it!

I decided to take a picture of myself on the way to work, a la Julie Go Lean

Flashback Friday: Halloween Edition!

Before I begin, I just wanted to tell those bloggers that I visit that I’m sorry if I’m MIA in the comment dept lately. I’ve had a crazy end to the week! I’ll come by once the weekend hits! promise!

In honor of flashback friday, I thought I’d tell you little tid bits about my Halloweens as a kid. This may end up being a boring post, but I was so busy chasing five year olds with a spatula at my cooking lessons that I really shut off the creative part of my brain.

please don’t stop reading.

So I’ll first say that my mom was super creative and artistic. So Halloween was a great opportunity to live create a fu project around my Halloween costume.

Take exhibit A: My Halloween costume from third grade wa pipi longstocking. I thought that at the time it was pretty orginal and my mom took apart a wire hanger and made it to fit the shape of my head. Tada! radio-active braids!

I had to draw in freckles. the sun never blessed me with them

I got lots of extra candy for that one. I remember some guy at one house saying, “Come look hun, this kid’s hair actually sticks out!”.

my hair took viagra

It was cool but many little kids were smacked in the face after I turned around. To bad for them.

Exhibit B: I think this was sixth grade where I was a gypsy. My mom was a gypsy when she was young. But my mom was raised in Israel where the equivalent of Halloween is this Jewish holiday called “purim” where people dress up and get drunk. Yes, its actually mandatory as part of the holiday. Oddly enough, this has yet to turn into a slut dressing fest. Anyhow, I had my BFF’s mom who is a pro make-up artist do my make-up.

yep, i was eleven and I look 25. Make up works wonder. i promise, i'm not as pretty in person (take heed foodbuzz goers)

I found random “old-lady” scarves at the thrift store with my mom and a good looking 11 year old gypsy was born. At eleven, I may have not had breasts (dont think I have much of those now) but I was hot.

Exhibit C: I’m pretty sure this was fifth grade? I wasn’t something super creative. I admit, I was in a “clique” in elementary school and “we” decided to be butterflies. I thought it was lame, but it would be fifth grade social suicide to not join in. But once again, my BFF’s mom stepped in and beautified my best friend and I. When the other girls saw our faces, their jaw dropped. They looked like butterflies from a face-painting station at a carnival and we looked like butterflies from the editorial pages of Elle.

yep, I flew the other flies out of their cocoons

Exhibit D: Fast forward to me at 21. I was fresh out of my impatient treatment (three weeks to be exact) and decided on being a caesar salad. I wore a roman inspired ella moss dress, a wreath, with a caesar salad bag glued to my back. I thought it was clever. Needless to say, we went to a pretty weird house party where a 37 year old dud asked if my roommate and I were over 18. She looked disgusted, and I just kind of wanted to say yes to shoo him away.

And finally, I just wanted to show you what the schtick my dog and my dad did on that Halloween when I was pipi longstocking. I don’t know what they were, but they creeped everyone out. Except my dog, milli. She was just cute.


Halloween candy cookies and the Dumb Things People Say

ewy gooey

Hey everyone!

I don’t know how to start this post in some brilliant creative manner, so I’ll just be blunt: adults say the darnest things.

You would think that since I work with kids, that I might hear some pretty funny things come out of their mouths. I do, but to be honest, adults have surprised me with their sheer stupidity and they have no excuse because they are way beyond puberty.

I thought I might share with the these examples I speak of:

Location: Yoga Studio where I assist a senior instructor

Darnest Thing Said to me: “Where is your twin?”

My Analysis: Twins actually are prominent in my family (my mom had a twin brother and her twin brother has identical twin sons), but sadly, I am not a twin. I think she simply saw me once and saw me again that day and thought I was two people. I would like this hypothetical twin to go to work for me and do my jury duty. Trouble is, I would need to upkeep my twin so she doesn’t give people the impression I’m a hobo.

My actual response: “I dont have a twin, you must have seen me here twice. I do work here…”

Location: Blind date (from Jdate) at a park

Darnest thing said to me: “I don’t like fat people, they just bring up thoughts of laziness, excess, and being out of control.”

My Analysis: Obviously, I wanted to punch this douche bag in the nuts. This was after I told him I had recently finished an outpatient program for my exercise addiction and eating issues. There was a slightly overweight man jogging in front of us when he proceeded to tell me this insight. And yes, the date ended shortly due to me needing to go feed my dog (my dog that died two before that blind date).

My response: “You know what shows lack of control? An emaciated woman running laps at the park! And I don’t care much for you!”

Location: A local cafe

Darnest Thing said to me: “Eww…this tastes funny. Want a bite?”

Analysis: funny? as in it tastes like George Carlin? or funny gross? Yes, I’d love to try something that tastes nasty or like a comedian. We all know how much I love food.

My response: “Bite me”

Location: A grocery store

Darnest thing said: “Where can we get kosher pork?”

Analysis: I may not keep kosher myself, but I know a thing or too about kosher rules. Some stranger asked me this when I was doing the grocery shopping after my class in culinary school and still had my uniform on. People assume just because you wear a chefs outfit, you know everything about food at the market! Anyhow, if your unfamiliar with kosher laws, pork and shellfish is pretty much a no no any which way. Chicken and beef can be kosher and not kosher (based on the way the animal is killed and how its butchered). But Jews spare all the piggies of the world.

My response: “I’m not really a chef, this is a halloween costume”

Has any person told you something funny or downright stupid lately?

I was listening to “Marketplace” on NPR (yep, I’m a certified nerd) and they were talking about how people are actually spending more money this halloween. I totally get why. Its not like christmas where you are kinda forced to buy everyone and their dog a present and you dont need to cook a big fancy feast (a la thanksgiving). So people feel they can shell out some dough and have fun. Anyhow, this got me thinking that probably a lot of us will see fun size or mini versions of candy. So I thought I’d formutlate a recipe using those odd ball candies you’ll mostly likely find laying around. For the cookies you will need:

-1/2 cup oats

-1/4 cup oat bran

-1/2 tsp baking powder

-2 tbs cocoa powder

-1 tbs flax meal

-1/4 cup water or almond milk (I actually used coconut milk, any liquid will do I think)

Mix it all up with your best tool.

easy clean up too!

roll into balls and stick a mini version of your favorite candy. I used a milky way.

yea, just plop it on top, i never said this was fancy!

bake at 350 degrees for about 15-20 minuets. Let it cool and enjoy the halloween leftovers!

Sunflower Seed Pesto and Crushes

Hey bloggers, readers, and silent lurkers.

How’s the week going so far? I can’t believe its midweek! I can’t believe its almost November. I’m still thinking its May 1999.

Anyhow, I as I was teaching my 5 year olds today, I noticed the kids teasing this one kid about him having a crush on some other girl in our class. It was very cute, and it got me thinking.

When I was in high school, I had about three crushes. ot all at once, usually one replaced the other because swooning over one took a lot of energy as is.  Currently, there isn’t someone in my real day to day life I have a crush on, but there are plenty of the people in the media I’m totally crushing on. I thought I would interview my roommate too to see how we stack up. Here we go:


Moi (for the record, my hair never looks this good, this was the day I got a blowout)

Celebrity Crush: James Franco

Fictional TV character: “E”  from “Entourage”(played by Kevin Connely)

Fiction movie character: “Phil” (Bradley Cooper) from the “Hangover”

Gay man crush: Bravo’s Andy Cohen

Cartoon Crush: “Trent” from Daria

Girl Crush: Ellen Paige

Over 40 crush: Jon Stewart

Over 50 crush: Dr. Drew Pinsky

Musician Crush: Sondre Lerche

Athlete Crush: Ryan Lochte

Author Crush: i’ll give this to Jon Stewart again

Politician Crush: I pass, politics turns me off

Broadway Musical Crush: Maurice from Les Mis

My roommate:

The Roommate

Celebrity crush: Taye Diggs

Fictional TV character: “Vince” (from Entourage)

Fiction movie character: “Phil” (Bradley Cooper) from the “Hangover”

Gay man crush: “lloyd” (played by Rex Lee) from Entourage

Cartoon Crush: “Demitri” from Disney’s Anastasia

Girl Crush: Reese Witherspoon

Over 40 crush: Hugh Jackman

Over 50 crush: Betty White

Musician Crush: Fifty Cent

Athlete Crush: Chad Ocho Sinco

Author Crush: Augesten Borrroughs

Politician Crush: Obama (although John Edwards before he cheated on his wife)

Broadway Musical Crush: “Seymor” from Little Shop of Horrors

maybe we should just have a crush on each other

Care to chime in with your crushes? Guy readers out there, you too!

We had a bunch of basil in the fridge that was about to go bad, and I am not one to waste perfectly good basil (or any food really). We had o pine nuts in the house, so I improvised with sunflower seeds. Heres what you need:

-1/4 cup sun flower seeds.

-a few leaves of fresh basil

-1 tbs dijon mustard

-2 tbs parmesan cheese

-2 tbs olive oil

-salt and pepper to taste

Toast the sunflower seeds by putting them in a pan on high heat and tossing them every few seconds so they slightly brown on all sides.

Place the basil, seeds, parm, oil, mustard, salt and pepper in a food processor (or in my case, the magic bullet).

Pour over spaghetti (or spaghetti squash in our case) and swivel your fork!

serve and swivel

Candy Corn Popcorn and Decisions, Decisions

two kind of corn: candy and popped

I don’t know if you all have this problem, but I’d like to start a “I can’t decide support group”.

Astrology freaks have warned me that it’s because I’m a Libra that I’m so indecisive. It may have something to do with it, but I also think it manifests into other aspects of my history and my life.

There is evidence to my indecisiveness from my early years as a toddler. My dad was practically ready to put me up for adoption after me agonizing over which cereal too choose for breakfast. It sorta went like this:

Dad: What kind of cereal would you like?

4yr old Eden: What kind do we have

Dad: Cheerios, mini wheats, and Toasted Oatmeal Squares

4yr old Eden: Cheerios!

(Dad opens fresh cheerio box)

4yr old Eden: no, actually mini wheats!

Dad: I just opened a new package of cheerios! now they will get stale quicker! Fine….(gets mini wheats box, bowl and proceeds to pour….)

4yr old Eden: FINE! I dont want stale cheerios! I wan fresh cheerios! so I’ll have cheerios!

Dad: I you sure

4 yr old Eden: yes

(Dad pours cheerios into bowl, gets a spoon…)

4yr old Eden: Actually…..what what that other option?

Dad: you’ll miss Mr, Rodgers if you don’t make up your mind soon. We also have toasted oatmeal squares.

4yr old Eden: ok, no I still want cheerios

Dad: thank god

(passed me the bowl and as I’m about to dig in…)

4yr old Eden: But I love mini wheats too! I dont want to hurt their feelings

Dad: Mini wheats dont have feelings! I’ve had enough!

(he pours all three into a bowl and I sulk because I’ve missed Mr. Rodgers taking off his sneakers which is the best part of the show.

Anyhow, I struggle with this all the time, every day. Sometimes its minor, like which blogs to read or which movies to netflix. Other times its brutal. What career should I go after, should I go on a date with “that” guy, whats the wisest  thing to buy…etc.

When it gets too food, its always tough. I like restaurants where my options are limited. Delis suck cause they have menus that resemble a twilight series book. I am also indecisive about how I feel about my body. Some days I feel too thin, some days I feel too fat, sometimes I love the way my hair looks, and today, I’m willing to go bald.


I often wish decision were just made for me. Although I know I would get pissed at that too. I like having the power to decide, but yet it would be easier if decision were simply made for me. Once again, evidence to my reluctance to grow up and take on the responsibilities of adulthood.

Currently, I’m very behind on my blog reading and my house cleaning because I’m wasting my precious time surfing kayak and yelp trying to decided on when to book my flight and hotel for foodbuzz (although I have two nights already booked, I decided to stay an extra night so I need to book for that night). I factor in too much (money, amenities, location, etc) and I keep thinking I should wait hoping prices might drop. In the meantime, my laundry is piling up, my google reader is bursting, and I still dont have a flight or hotel.

But all in all, indecision is basically the seed of fear. Fear of making the “wrong” decision. But really, what the worst that can happen if I chose mini wheats over cheerios? I suppose nothing. What a waste of fear that was. or was it? I don’t know, I can’t decide.

Anyhow, in desserts class we made candy corn popcorn in celebration for Halloween. . For the record, I don’t love candy corn. I have one or two and think hmm ok….but more than that and I start to feel sick. Anyhow, kids love them and they pay me to handle some kids for an hour, so why not. To make the popcorn you will need:

– 2 tbs canola oil

-1/2 cup plain popcorn kernals

-about 2 tbs sugar

-dash of salt

-candy corn (the more kids, the more candy corn)

Heat the oil in a sauce pan that has a lid (if your like me and tend to lose lids, a plate will do). Once it gets hot, drop a few kernels and wait to see if they pop. One they do, pour the rest of your kernels. 

one of my students offered to help with the photography. Not bad for a seven year old

Pour in the sugar and candy corn once most of them have popped but leave on the heat so they melt a little.


the kids busy in action

Serve and beware, there are no leftovers with kiddies running around.


Pupusas with Avocado and Myth Busting Monday (Halloween Edition)!

Everything is better with avocado on top

Hope everyone had a nice weekend!

I was very busy and this next week will be even busier because not only do i have work and yoga school, I have loads of errands I need to do before I head on over to San Francisco for the Foodbuzz festival.

Its that time of the week again, everyone’s favorite, myth busting monday! Here’s the myths of the week with some Halloween ones thrown in:

Myth #1: Plastic is better for cutting boards: Actually, this on is a toss up. Wood cutting boards are porous so they tend to soak up juices from cutting meats and fish, for example. That carries the bacteria down into the cutting board where they’re not at the surface anymore. And woods often contain anti-bacterial compounds in them so there’s kind of a natural antibiotic in the surface of the wood. Plastic cutting boards are easier to clean and are safer to put in the dishwasher, but they also will tend to develop scars and bacteria will lodge in the scars and cause problems later. So best to use woods for proteins and maybe plastic for produce. And when they get scars, toss em out.

Myth# 2: Beer before liquor you’ve never been sicker, liquor before beer your all in the clear: Dont mix your alcohol, dumb-ass. (I must give my lovely roommate credit and she works in a bar. I am not a big drinker due to some liver issues . But I have been to college, so I believe it’s valid).

Myth#3: The candy you receive will have razor blades and needles in them: You think razor blades and needles are cheap? I don’t have that kind of money to waste on hurting children. Besides, I’m so much bigger and smarter than kids are. I think most people have no intention on hurting children anyhow, its not like they walk in their halloween costumes with a wallet full of cash to steal. Unless, its Justin Beiber.

Myth #4 Goths love Halloween: I am pretty positive goths hate Halloween. It makes a total mockery of everything they believe in, like Satan, and drawing pentagrams in their own blood.

Myth #5: Green M&M’s are an aphrodisiac: I was really curious about the rumor so I decided to do some light research and visit their site. I mean after all, they’ve alluded to the whole green-aphrodisiac thing in their commercials. The Green M&M has sexy boots, so that means they know about the rumor. THEY will give me some of the straight-from-the source facts I crave. And guess what I found? A timeline. Big whoop.

Myth #6Girls who wear slutty costumes are into you: I went to UCSB, the prime college Halloween destination. From my Halloween experiences there, I’ve learned that girls who dress slutty tend to act like total whore too. Then guys get pissed they don’t follow through. Yea, THAT my friends is creepy.

For the pupusas, I simply mixed:

1/2 cup of corn flour

1/4 cup warm water

top with some sea salt and avocado

I mixed it with my hands and rolled it into a little ball.I heated up the greased skillet and place the ball in the pan and “squished” it with another pan to flatten it.

I made like a bunch of mini ones, but it makes about four bigger ones

pupusa for about 1-2 minutes on each side, until lightly browned and blistered. Remove to a plate and hold warm until all pupusas are done

Eats and Lessons of the Week

I also learned flashback fridays are pretty awesome, and that I think we can all agree I was a pretty cute kid

I was really busy today (will recap it tomorrow) but thought I’d share with you some cool recipes and musings of the blogosphere (yes, maggie, I’m ripping you off a bit).

Eating up on….

Asparagus + Meyer lemon + risotto= yes please!

Hugs and Kisses (without getting too touchy feely)

Puttin on the Ritz

Shakshouka! (funny name, delicious dish!)

What I learned this week:

Since I will be attended the foodbuzz festival in less than two weeks, I found these tips very helpful

I learned the Fifty Nifty States!

My shopping habits may reflect my recovery

Dont work out after root beer and pizza

Im now convinced I need to buy a dehydrator

I wasn’t the only one with a cereal childhood

I want Momma b to adopt me and take me with her on her travels

Blogger Face-Offs are fun

What have you learned this week? any new recipes you’ve found that you want to try out (bonus point if there are one of mine!)

Twice Baked Cinnamon Potatoes, 15 Truths, and a Lie

bear with my horrible photography lately, the bad weather here has affecting my good lighting

How’s the weekend so far?

Although I do like writing and talking about myself (I mean, who doesn’t?), I realized I haven’t actually written a lot about me lately (besides yesterday’s flashback).

Anyhow, I thought I would share some of my truths with you, and a lie on the side:

Truth #1: I get bored in yoga sometimes (usually, the teacher is lousy or I’m just feeling lousy in general that particular day)

Truth #2: True friends stab you in he front

Truth #3: I think triangular sandwiches taste better

Truth #4: I yell “STAY” at objects that keep falling over

Truth #5: I hate it when people sit in front of you in the movies and take away your foot rest

Truth #6: I didn’t cry at my mom’s funeral, but I did cry watching “Slumdog Millionaire” (for the record, I feel like i cried a lot when my mom was very sick and tight after she died. I was just a little numb at the funeral and the crowds of people intimidated me.

Truth #7: I new the whole Les Miserables soundtrack when I was eleven.

Truth #8: I have no patience for people extremely in their eating disorder

Truth #9: I am very picky when it comes to dating, my standards are way to high, but they gotta be, right?

Truth #10: I like to eat salads from bowls, not plates

Truth #11: I have a crush on Jon Stewart. Something about his humor, his liberalism, his hair and his “jewness” just makes my heart flutter. Wow, I’m pathetic.

Truth #12: I speak Hebrew fluently and I never lived in Israel, but all Israelis I meet tell me I have no accent. I’m just a really good actress (I do great australian accents and I do “Lois” and “Stewie” from family guy pretty well!).

Truth #13: My first car was named “renee”, my second “benson”, and my current one is called “nelson”. Yep, my current one is male.

Truth #14: I really want to be a vegearian because I love animals and it would look being a yoga teacher and all that, but I don’t think I would last long without chicken, turkey, and fish. I’m vegetarian in sprit, but I lack the no meat will power. I know, I’m weak.

Truth #15: I’m afraid of being “too skinny” and “too fat”. I don’t even know how to define those words and it may be shallow or whatever, but its my truth.

Lie: I love my body (I don’t hate it, but I think its totally ok and normal not to “love it”. For me, being “meh” towards it is good enough).

What are your truths? Or lies?

For the twice baked cinnamon sweet potatoes you will need:

-a sweet potato (or yam, I won’t go into that debate)

-about 1/2 cup of ricotta cheese (or for a vegan version, soy yogurt or coconut milk yogurt)

-1/2 tablespoon of cinnamon

-sweetener of choice (I used stevia, but honey would be good too)

-1/8 tsp baking powder (pretty crucial to make them puff up!)

pierce the potatoes with a fork a few times and bake at 400 degrees for about 30 min or until soft.

Slice down the middle and take out the mushy insides (aka, sweet potato guts).

the "guts" taken out...

In a seperate bowl, mix the sweet potato”guts” with the ricotta, cinnamon, sweetener and baking powder.

stuff that sucker

Refill the potatoes and bake for an additional 15 minuets.

Vegan PB and J Bars and Flashback Friday: Bat Mitzvah Edition!

It peanut butter jelly time!

I think you will like this post…..

But I’ll be honest. I’ve been suffering from severe lack of blog post creativity. I feel that I’ve been losing my edge and maybe even a couple of readers as well these past couple of weeks.

Instead of some wacky diet tips to try out or weird terminology, I thought I’d write a little about my past. Very appropriate since its “Flashback friday”.

This flashback is about my bat mitzvah, which actually occurred on November 11, 2000.

see, no need for 300 people, just a bunch of friends can be classy too!

For you goys (or non jews) out there, bar (for guys) and bat (for girls) mitzvahs are a right of passage when you enter puberty. Usually the age is thirteen although sometimes girls have it at twelve. I had it when I was thirteen (even though I dont think I hit puberty until I was maybe fourteen). In the US at least, the boy/girl generally reads from the torah (for which they usually prepare for several months in advance). The parents throw a party (maybe two, usually a luncheon and a dinner) and the kid gets a ridiculous amount of money. That’s the gist of it.

My parents, true to their unconventional way to raise me, gave me control a little of my bat mitzvah.

No, it was not on a boat, it was a recreation room at a fancy shmancy Bel Air gated community that had a pool on the bottom floor from where the party was. I thought this lifesaver would be a good photo opp. And for the record, my hair is not naturally like that! I regret that crimp job I got done, but it was VERY cool at the time, because I am always VERY cool!

So, being a little younger than most of the people in my grade, by the time I was thirteen, I had already been to hundreds of bar mitzvahs (yes, hundreds). So I was an expert at what worked and what didn’t.

So for one, I knew I did not want to read from the Torah! Most Jews in the US would say that was cheating because the whole purpose of the lavish party is that you worked so hard to prepare for that reading. Well you know what? Girls in Israel traditionally don’t read and an eighth grader has plenty of homework as is! My parents didn’t object. We also were never really religious and probably blacklisted from local temples because my mom sent me to Jewish day school with a ham sandwich.

Second, limit the number of adults. What I hated from all the bar mitzvahs I had was that the would have an “adult” side of the room and a “kids” side and they basically surrounded the dance floor. Nothing is more embarrassing than shaking your ass to the thong song while grandpa Borris watches you as he finishes us his appetizer. So yea, no adults. I wanted it to be my party, not my parents’. Once again, no objections from the “rents”. I think my parents were more concerned about their own embarrassment.

yes, thats me on the floor swing dancing. Even though this does not look by any means elegant, I actually won three swing championships!

Third, have many food options. I can write a book about the art of Bar/Bat Mitzvah food. Its not like wedding food. The stars of the show are kids, who even at 12 or 13 can be picky. But you don’t want it to be pizza and punch like at birthday parties. I also know its always fun to have different “stations” to choose from.  A friend of mine (who for the record was extremely wealthy) had Wolfgang Puck himself churn out pizzas! Not to mention a sushi station, a DYI sundae station, and a made to order stir fry stations. We were not rich. So we had to take that down a notch. But we did have the caterer do an “Italian” station with pastas, garlic bread, lasgna, and some more carby goodness, as well as a Mexican station with DYI tacos, taquitos, chips ‘n salsa, and quesdillas. So everyone would get something. And I think my mom requested a salad in there for some green. For dessert, I decided to ditch the sundae bar (by that time, it was SO overdone) and did a “krispy kreme bar”.  The day of my Bat Miztvah, I had my dad risk his life and go to the most ghetto part of LA (where the closest krispy kreme was at the time) and order 100+ doughnuts. At the party, we provided a selection of toppings and they could top and decorate their doughnut to their liking. I was clever!

This was about a year before my eating disorder began. I wish I could look at that picture now and have no energy about it. And for the record, doughnuts are awesome, but I'm not a krispy kreme fan. Too sweet and someone please tell me how its krispy?

However, the day of, I woke up with the worst sore throat of my life! The kind that hurts even when you dont swallow! I went to the doctor a 10am and practically begged him to put some sort of numbing medication so I wont feel it for the party. He refused, ass hole.

So I was basically sucking on Halls throughout the whole thing and I couldn’t talk much either. O well, I guess perfection is impossible because aside from my throat, I had a blast.

my mom and me, and that poster everyone signs before they come in. She decided not to do another round of chemo a few months before that, so her hair grew a little.

The sad thing was, my mom was losing her battle with cancer. She died about a month after. This was one the last times I saw her all up and at em. She was bed ridden about two weeks later and then transported to the hospital two weeks after that. She looks pretty sick in the pictures, but she was beautiful regardless. I really didn’t know how severe it really was at the time, and I surely didn’t think this would actually take her life. I really admire how she let me be who I wanted to be and let me do what I wanted to do. I never got grounded, my parents believed I’d suffer for my mistakes when I made them, no use locking me in the house or room.  She totally helped me pull off an awesome party that i think even made my “rich” friends jealous. I didn’t have Elton John preform. I didn’t have henna tattoo artists or glass blowers. I didn’t have Emeril or Bobby Flay catering (although I wouldn’t have minded Julia Child’s expertise!). I didn’t even have more than 10 people over 14. But what I did have was an awesome time that I will never forget.

my krispy kreme glasses, they were all the rage, I swear.

Ok, so now for the food portion of the program…..

In a bowl mix the following ingredient (hands work best, a fork will be fine too):

-1/4 cup peanut flour

-2 tbs oatmeal

-1/2 cup of oatbran

-1 tbs of stevia baking blend (any sweetener you choose, or omit)

-1 slightly overripe banana

-1/4 cup of milk (any milk, almond, soy, coconut, dare i say it, the “moo” kind, but I used coconut)

-your favorite jam (I used the crofters superfruit!)

Simply mix all the ingredient (aside from the jam) in a bowl and pour into a greased loaf pan. It wont make a loaf, but this is a small serving (excellent if you don’t like making a huge ass batch for yourself!). If you pour it on a cookie sheet it will resemble a very sad pancake. Anyhow bake at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes. Then, pour on the jam to create a thin layer on top. Bake it off for ten more minutes and then stick it in the freezer for about an hour (just to help it set, we aren’t making popsicles here!). Cut into “bars” and inhale.

End 🙂