I’m still getting comments about the “Why I’m Not Reading Your Blog” Post.
I was confident the comment box would be brimming with hate letters. Well, not like my comment box is ever “brimming” with much… Anyhow, this gave me the confidence to post about what annoys me about blogs.
1) Adding a “ness” word: This is flat out ridiculousness! Latching on a “ness” at the end of a word doesn’t make you cool or articulate.
awesomeness, randomness, coolness, deliciousness, coitusness, phlegminess, sctrotumness….
You wanna hear something crazy? Of course you do. There is a facebook group called “adding a ‘ness’ to the end of a word makes you cool”. Well you know me; queen of “coolness”.
2) Showing what you look like AFTER a workout: Or after you have sex or do any activity that may leave you sweaty. Who wants to see that? Well, weird fetish people aside, I think most people rather not. What are you trying to prove? That you exercise hard and I don’t. That I’m a lazy bum cause I’m not red and wet? That I don’t like Bikram Yoga?
Well, for the record I don’t, in fact, fancy Bikram. You can read all about my Bikram woes here.
Bottom line: Dont’have a photo shoot after a marathon run, swim, bike ride, boink fest, or watching CSPAN. Because I don’t know about you but CSPAN makes me perspirate.
3) Shortening Words So They Make You Want To Vomit A Little Bit In Your Mouth: Need examples?
Presh, as is precious; Gorg, as in Gorgeous; Adorbs, as in Adorable; Siggy, as in signature
Part of me wants to assin those presh peeps along with their comps, hubbs, and adorbs kiddos.
(TRANSLATION: Part of me wants to assasinate those precious people along with their computers, husbands, and adorable dogs/cats)
4) Overdosing on the word “literally”: This isn’t just for blogs or tweeting or other social media forms. I think we need to eradicate that word. People are using it like the word “like”. Remember when a few years back everyone was complaining about the abuse of the word “like”?
Like, I think I like Oreos like I like my kitten, tee hee!
I know, it was bad.
But it got worse with “literally”:
There was literally mosquito bites all over my crotch it was sooooo itchy!
This traffic jam sucks literally some serious amazeballs! My honda is literally gonna smell like pee by the time this is over!
or it makes you sound like your totally lying
ZOMG! A piano fell on me! I’m literally dying!
No, you’re not. Shhhhh.
5) The Name: This is awful. Because I committed this blogging sin. In my opinion, 90% of blog names suck. I’m one of the 90% and its too late to think of something clever. Look at the comment section of a fairly popular blogger and scroll down and read aloud the names of blogs. It sounds ridiculous sometimes. “Healthy-something that rhymes-insert bloggers real name here” or “fit and insert bloggers name here”. Or there’s gotta be an Elizabeth Gilbert worshiper so it must be something like “blog, eat, fart” or “run, hop, queef” or three verbs separated by commas. But don’t judge a blog by their name. “Eden’s Eats”????? Really??? How orignial.
I might rename it to: Googlesex
just cause its sounds cool to say when I’m doing that whole reading through the comment aloud thingy.
So, did I miss anything???
And today I have one of my favorite dressings. Avocado makes it delicious. Literally!
- 1/2 avocado (make sure its very ripe)
- juice of one lemon
- 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 2 tbs kalamata “olive juice” (the juice that the olives come in, or use water)
Just whisk and pour. If your avodcado isn’t soft, you can use a blender.
So where does Feerless Food rank in blog names? lol. And agreed on the post workout pics, however, whats even worse are picture or how far you went on the treadmill… I think post ACTUAL race pictures are ok though.
Always an awesome read Eden!
higher than my own rank, I assure you. But then again, thats not hard.
I find it amusing when people only do a single pose in EVERY single picture they take… Example: A kissy-face… I swear, they really do need to come up with a “sarcasm” key for Mac… Literally!
Grammar police! “I’m literally dying – No, you’re not!” Yes, proof-reading papers all day long tends to make me a grammar freak…
My personal peeve is mixing languages in an effort to sound cool, especially if the words are wrong in either language. Example: “Guten morgan? What’s up? I am mucho bueno!” Is there a facebook group for this? I am literally joining it yesterday…
I’m an interpreter, so this kills me! And it’s confusing because I like to respond to people in the language they’re speaking. If you speak to me in spanish, I’ll answer in Spanish, english- english answer. If you mix it, what do I do?? And it’s worse when I’m working, I’m supposed to interpret into the OTHER language, and if you mix it I’m also confused or just sound like a parrot repeating the same words.
Sorry Eden, I’m not leaving double comments today to plug my blog that hasn’t been written in in 6 months! I just love your sense of humor, and want you to know I still read even when I don’t comment and I hope you’re doing well!
I’m with you on the post-workout photos. I also really dislike when people write, “I went for a sweaty run” or, “I was a drippy mess.” I really do not want to picture that while I am eating breakfast, thank you.
I also don’t like when people use adjectives on things that just don’t need them:
“Toppings include bloobs (hate that word) and drippy peanut butter.”
yes, unnecessary, drippy, ooey gooey adjectives irk me.
The thing is, that if I ever do have sex again, it will be such a momentous occasion after all this time of inadvertent celibacy that I might just have to post a picture of my post-coital self. I hope that you’ll forgive me.
You hit all the points again! Haha all of the above is true, for sure. I also hate when people say “defiantly” instead of “definitely.”
Agreed! Though I secretly like seeing sweaty pictures of other people… I’d rather have some real pictures than stylized-contorting-my-body-so-I-look-as-slim-as-humanly-possible pictures. And Eden’s Eats is a very cute (cutesy?) blogname :p
amen to the “slim” picking pictures, I promise to always be slightly chubs in mine.
Once again, I feel your pain. Funny stuff.
Spot on as usual! I guess I see it so much that you sort of become immune, yet when it’s pointed out then you think “yeah that IS annoying”. I’ve seen alot of the sweaty run photos lately and I was thinking – what’s your point? I’d never want someone to see me sweaty and messy!
As far as blog names, I do like the cute ones. One of my favorites (cause I’m an old child of the 70’s) is “Highway to Health”, I just think that is too clever.
Yes. Awesomesauce, “rock my socks”, amaze (blank) balls, “balls”followed by a giggle, and the word “literally” and “actually” (I’m guilty of saying those words way too often in life).
What is on your salad? Lentils?
What about when everyone starts doing something like WIAW. That one is driving me nuts. Either people are lying about what they eat, or they are starving.
Ugh, yea, I hate that. I’m gonna do a WIAW and show a brick. Yumminess 😉
Literally, like, ditto! It’s annoying that even the non food blogs are doing it so that you can’t avoid seeing what other’s are eating even if you try. And it leaves me wondering a) where are the other 1500 calories you needed to survive today? and b) where do you find the time/ why are you making the time to style your food so elegantly?
You should check out this comic on the correct use of the word literally. It is hilarious!
Actually every thing on that site is like literally pee your pants funny! 😉
coitusness, phlegminess, sctrotumness… Yes. Awesomesauceness.
I’m pretty sure I’ve offended many things. i now try not to shorten things to cutesy terms, but then again I’m old enough not to do that. I’ll be sad when you kibbosh the word “dude” though because even though I’m old enough to not use it ever again, and I use it for women, I still love it. Blame my california roots.
Did you post that avo dressing before? I need to make it as it’s definitely an awesome sauce for my lettuce leaves.
dude, you KNOW I say that word often, so I wont kibbosh it so fast. You and I are true californians, a rare breed.
DUDE. it’s a favorite of mine.
I really don’t like seeing heinous grammatical and spelling errors in life or on blogs! It really bugs me.
I don’t like the word “sammie” or “sammich”. Though I am guilty of abbreviating other words.
HATE sammie. Drives me NUTS!
I cannot believe that bloggers actually write “like a party in my mouth” when they are describing their food because…that will never NOT sound dirty to me. Am I the only one?
I also really cringe when I read “Get in My Belly” or when people talk about giving birth to their food babies. It’s okay to talk about a food baby but …come on now…”giving birth” to a food baby = taking a big giant poop and who wants to hear about it?
Also Lurve. What the..huh? How does that even sound out loud?
I only have raves in my mouth
I HATE THE WORD LURVE! where the hell did it come from?!
also.. raves in your mouth? no wonder you were shitting glow sticks in PS.
I don’t mind the post race pictures, but post any other type of workout pictures are totally not necessary.
I agree with everything else 108% (I literally took off 2 points for the whole pic dis…hope we still be besties though!)
This pleases me on so many levels…Even though I probably abbreviate words too much, and although I’ve never been to California in my life, I use “dude” in reference to just about everyone. I also like the fact that unless you actually visit my blog (or know what my tagline is), its name has nothing to do with food, and more aptly explains why I get pervy hits from people looking for trampling pictures! Literally needs to be removed from the English language…I cringe any time I hear it used or read it anywhere. I also dislike silly acronyms that I don’t understand…As in, I have no idea what WIAW means (and right now I’m too lazy to Google it!), and it took me forever to figure out what OIAJ & SIAB meant!
I had to google it…so dont feel left out
OK, I did google it…And I’m not participating in it.
Yeah, what is up with the Eat Pray Love-like blog names. They seem to be everywhere. Googlesex is literally presh. I’d totally read it. 🙂
That’s it! Renaming it “Googlesex”! I needed your seal of approval!
To be honest, I always feel like such a douche when I write “Hubs.” I’m not sure what else to call him as he doesn’t want me to call him by his damn name. I suppose I could make up something….that would probably be cooler.
I love how you put this stuff out there and that you’re not holier than thou. And your recipes are pretty damn good, too.
Why not “my husband”. I know that’s conventional but it gets the point across. And I do think I’m holier! All shall kneel before my blog!
Yeah. I call Marshall my husband. I hate hubs, hubby, hubster.. ughh. And if he were to ever call me his wifey, I would divorce his ass.
yea, calling him “hubs” would make you a bad wifey
First time commenter here. I read blogs because I’m a bit of a voyeur. Generally, I find people to be rather fascinating and I’m the sort of person that is very much entertained by people-watching. That being said, I agree with what others have said about “goody-two-shoes” blogs being annoying and being inundated with 20 pictures of oatmeal every day. Additionally, I’m annoyed by bloggers that claim that blogging/freelance/”recipe-development” is their “job,” but would in no way be able to live/maintain their lifestyle on whatever income they are generating from said “job” if they weren’t also being supported by their husbands. Your job is actually a hobby in such a case. Just call yourself a wife or stay-at-home mom and stop pretending that you’re actually working a real job!
I guess that feels too formal somehow.
i don’t think anyone has put together my blog name is a song by my secret lover britt daniels (aka spoon)
ahh!! i love spoon. but i am bad with song names.
I love spoon too. The band and the utensil.
I love spoon, TOO! both the band and utensil TOO.
And when people say “without further adieu” – gah.
I can’t think of a single blog name that I like. what’s an example of something in that 10% of good ones?
and what the hell, 66 comments IS “brimming” with comments. Why you gotta act like you don’t get a lot of feedback? Some bloggers are stoked to get 7 responses, ya know?
I actually like my friend Abby’s (Abby Has Issues) and Allison’s (Always Losing Bobby Pins). I can stand most of the ones I’ve actually met and am friends with. More so than I can stand my own… 66 IS brimming for my standards. Yes. But that is like a dead day for the Pioneer Woman.
your blog name is still solid, since you have a great real name. And I like alliterations… The comma ones really are the worst. eat, exercise, uncreative.
I *LOVE* (literally!) that I posted my first ever after run photo to facebook today, and I am (literally) just reading this now, hours later. I took a photo only because I was BEAMING happy after an awesome run, no more sweaty.
I use awesomeness a lot, I think… and I think you’re saying this because of me! 😉 literally.
I like my blog name, although many think it’s because I cannot pronounce spaghetti.
Lurve that, literally.
You picture was sheer lovliness! And I told you all if forgiven with you because I couldn’t tell if you were sweaty. Love you, basil, and spaghetti. Literally.
I actually like post-race photos 😀 I don’t mind post-workout pics either…but there is such thing as overkill for sure. I admit to using bloobs. Please forgive me. I’ve stopped my “delish” habit, though!! 😀
Good, I’ll send you a trophy. (for not using “delish”)
I hate the blogs that start by saying, “I really didn’t want to work out at 5am this morning, but then I pushed myself and amazingly ran 15.1 miles in the pouring down rain! It was amazeballs!” I just want to comment, seriously shove it. I might work out at the ass crack of dawn too but I don’t need to tell everyone about it.
And don’t even get me started on the hello intros because I immediately veto a blog if they say “Hey bloggie lovahs! How’s your Monday going?? Mine is fabu! Kisses!! xoxox”
ugh, yea, those make me vomit a little bit in my mouth.
You crack me up girl. I love your honesty. However I am definitely one that uses the “sauce” as in: that movie was lamesauce. Lol. You should keep up with these posts though; they rock. “Literally”
who said I’m a girl? 😉
Oh wait! I hate when people say “congrads” instead of congrats. I wanna scream when I see it especially on Facebook.
Another one I dislike: “For realz”. Had to get that off my chest.
what blogs do you read?? I never really seen “ness” being over used or shortening of words…I need to get out more, or maybe it is a good thing I do not read blogs that do that
and I will try to remember not to take pictures of myself after a workout….but I cannot make any promises, I guess I like the way I look 😉 haha
Its not like i see all that often since quite honestly. my reading has been very minimal. But I’ve seen it. And now shame in liking the way you look, its just overkill sometimes with people’s sweat pictures. And it makes me feel lazy as if I didn’t work out that hard 😉
I hear ya, but you should never feel lazy. I know easier said than done, but you are amazing, you do what you can for your body 😉 I do not always sweat when I workout, and that does mean I did not get a good workout. Just some people sweat more than others. You know? And for me I am always wearing workout type clothes, so pictures tend to me the same. And I am not good with fashion.
Now, I totes love abbrevs as much as the next girl, but when I see people using “hubbs” “seksi” and anything like that, I quite literally want to throw up. And also literally die.
I understand you not wanting to read blogs like this but I feel like this post and your last were mean and judgmental, I don’t see why you needed to put this kind of negativity out there.
There are so many reasons why blogs are annoying:
1) They re-post the same pictures a BAZILLION times
2) They make you do 10,000 things to enter their contest
3) They have HUGE pictures that barely fit on my screen
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however i will still read blogs which use adjectives that make me cringe because Im an addict. and im nosy.
all good stuff though. i must meet you over kosher bacon and chocolate
I use literally way too much. Literally. It’s like I can’t stop myself!!
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I just came across your blog for the first time (clearly I’ve been missing out!) this post & the “why I’m not reading your blog” get a huge HELL YES from me. Too many posts is the first way to get an ‘unsubscribe’ click, then the oatmeal and food posts – can’t stand them. You had 4 cherry tomatoes and half a slice of cheese for lunch? NO YOU DID NOT. Liar. I felt so much better when I removed all of them from my reader last year. Makes room for better blogs, like yours (just added now!) Thank you for being brutally honest, it’s SO refreshing.
So I just discovered your blog…and I kind of really like it. I also hate it when people shorten words because it’s just kind of annoying. It also really bugs me when blogs are “too healthy.” For one it makes me totally question my own eats and for another it just doesn’t seem real. While I am a huge advocate of healthy eating myself, I love seeing others have the freedom to eat foods that I still think are scary. It’s very liberating.
p.s. I’m kind of terrified that you will hate my blog too because I am guilty of some of these things…
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“run, hop, queef”
Hahaha!!! Best thing I’ve literally read all day 😉
I’m so glad I clicked over from Janetha’s blog.
You are hilarious.
Haha I came from Janetha’s blog too! I also totally claim my spot in the 90% of stupid blog names. Whoo!
I hate abbreviations , but I love post race pictures. This post is so funny.
How the HELL have I not found you/read your blog before. Thank you for saying everything I’ve ever wanted to say.
Your blog is hilarious.
This one might be kinda weird, but I hate it when bloggers use “per usual”. It drives me insaneee!! Also, “brekkie”, “lolz”, and “nanner”. KILL ME NOW.
I hate the word shortening! My least favorites (I want to punch the computer in the face when I read them are) “strawbs” and “blubes” for strawberries and blueberries. REALLY? REALLY? You can’t just type.it.out? It kills me. Kills.
I am so glad Jenetha recommended this blog. I just started recently started reading blogs and there a lot of the factors that help me decide whether to follow a blog or not were listed in your post! Hilarious, although I am sure I am probably guilty of some without even being aware!
Blog acronyms drive me crazy….I can never remember what they actually mean so I turn them into funny swear words!
If I said to anyone…would you like a SIAB? They would either a) slap me or b) tell me to stop reading so many blogs.
By the way how do you even pronounce SIAB…phonetically, or do you read each letter….or is it just something you read and understand?
I agree with most everything you listed here. A big annoyance of mine is when people write things like they say them. Maybe they are from the south and like leavin’ the g off of words. Or when they were three they called pasta “skettie” so they’ll write it that way in their posts. Also the above mentioned stawbs/bloobs. The only thing worse than huz or hubs is when it’s “the hubs”. I also don’t like seeing pictures of the same bowl or glass from 20 different angles. Then being directed to where I can buy the spectacular bowl or glass. I don’t intend to come off like a mean spirited bitter person but it is just too much sometimes. Every once in awhile I’d like to see someone act human and eat frosted flakes with non-organic milk out of a plastic bowl from a dollar store. Or ice cream straight from the carton, the whole pint. Not a precisely measured 1/2 cup sprinkled with flax and chia to make it more nutritious.
You should visit my blog. I pretend to try & be healthy, but then I do things like eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in my car on a hour-long ride home.
What makes you think i dont visit your blog 😉 i rarely comment on any blogs because I usuallly read them from my iphone where commenting is a nightmare.
Two things that I just can’t stand are: ridic and blasty. Ugh, it’s very hard to read blogs that use either one regular basis.
I really appreciate your honesty in this post. Not only was it hilarious, you said a lot of things other bloggers might be afraid to say and that deserves some respect. So, thanks 🙂
Oh, there’s one thing I do that probably isn’t cool; I love emoticons. Ah well, you can’t win them all, right?
“Not gonna lie…”
It. Was. So. Amazeballs.
You are hilarious- and thank you for having the balls to say what we’re all thinking. Literally. I worked really hard on my blog name (probably spent more time thinking of what it should be than any human really should spend thinking of names that will most likely be irrelevant in a few years) and I’m proud to say that it contains really no formula. And it’s punny. That’s all I need in my life.
Oh my, you are so awesome. All of those things irritate the heck out of me… literally. 😛 I really hate when people shorten words like “adorbs,” “presh,” etc. Also, my name definitely fits in with the 90%. Cutesy rhyme… and then my real name. Haha. Oh well, too late now.
Haha! The literally thing drives me crazy. Especially when it’s not actually literal.
I think my blog name is totally stupid, but I guess it’s different.
hahahaha I was LOLing this entire time. I literally commit the literally sin all the time. Just not on my blog – but while talking! 😛
Hi Eden 🙂
Just found your blog from Janetha’s link & I think you are hilarious! Everything you said is SO true. Sometimes I find myself doing it on my blog & I think ‘OH NO!’ – haha!
& YES, I HATE HATE HATE all of the abbreviations! I mean, how long does it take you to TYPE out a word?! I mean really, come on!
& talk about a weird blog name– look at mine. WAY too long- wish I could change it now…oh well…guess I’ll just have to stick with it!
Can’t wait to read more of your posts- thanks for laugh today 🙂
Just wanted to say I love your blog. So much hilariousness and amazeballness in one post.
Just discovered your blog!
I hate bloggers saying ‘nom nom nom’ it makes me uncomfortable.
I hate “nom” and “food baby”. Nom sounds like the word of choice of a 12 year old hipster who is too cool for the word eat. As for food baby, you poo out your food not your effing baby.
Just found your blog and I think it’s hilarious and honest in a very refreshing way.
Along with many of the cringe-worthy sayings above, I can’t stand “cray cray”. Where do people come up with this stuff??
Also, overdone food styling. You know the pictures where the smoothie is spilling over the sides of the glass and it’s “artistically” splattered all over the counter with a dirty spoon next to it? Why are you wasting your food and WHY create more mess to clean up?? To each his own, I suppose…