Why Blogs Love Lists and “Safe” Shortbread Cookies

I’ve been browsing my old blog entries. Cringing and with a puke bin beside me. And I realized something:

“Holy Googlesex (my new favorite word)! I am obsessed with lists!!! “

But after a few quick blog readings, I realized that everyone is obsessed with lists. I am unique, just like everyone else. So I thought about why we love lists so much and you guessed it:

I decided to list those reasons:

1) We like simplicity

When I wrote, “Reasons I’m not reading your blog“, my orignal title was: “A Few Annoying Things about Blogs That Are Annoying And Then Some Other Shit I Just Kinda Threw in There Because I Got Distracted By Quinoa and Angry Birds.”

I posted it and only two hits. Both from me, checking why no hits. Obviously, no one likes quinoa or angry birds cause I was sure that was a selling point.

2) Lists Are Versatile

Lists can be both pee-in-your-trousers hilarious or very deep and meaningful. Take for example my list of 10 Things Jews Do On Christmas. That is a way lists can be some what humorous. But want to cry from a list? How about Schindler’s List? Deep, stuff. Coincidentally, both these examples involved Jews. Oy.

 3) They Help You Skim

I have a feeling everyone reads a blog they don’t actually love to read. Maybe they know the person and just want to support them, maybe the blogger always comments on their blog so they feel the need to return the favor…Regardless, sometimes, posts can be humdrum and a list can make it simple for us to just skim, get the basic gist, and still manage to write a thoughtful comment.

And if you read through this bit without skimming, congratulations! I will reward you with this valuable piece on information about me:

I have an electric toothbrush, but I prefer my accoustic.

4)  They Are Finite

 They don’t usually go on and on. And if they do, you can skip to the bottom of the list. And like I said before, sometimes what we read is a drag and the end gives us some hope. Its like in class when its 3:29 and class gets out at 3:30. Or like when a terrible movie finally ends. Cough, Gigli, cough…..It’s a great sigh of relief!

So on that note, I better end it.

Why do you think lists are so popular on blogs? And please read the recipe today. I know many people skim my recipes but I wrote this one out thoughtfully.

For today’s food portion of the program, I was slightly sad to hear so many of you are terrified of sugar, butter, and oil. Not shocked, but sad.

You missing out folks.

Anyhow, I thought I’d make a recipe that goes easy on all those areas to help wean you into the sugar/fat bandwagon. Its a fun wagon too!

• 1 cup flour (All purpose but if your “scared of carbs” I think coconut would work well. If you scared of coconut flour, try sand)
• 3/4 cup mashed banana (if your scared of banana, tough shit)
• 1/2 cup powdered sugar (if you scared of sugar or a raging diabetic, try pulsing stevia or you fake sugar of choice in a blender)
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips (you have no excuse, chocolate has no substitute. Except sex. And GOOD sex not shitty-I-was-so-wasted sex)

So simple, just blend everything with a spoon or your hands and plop it on to a greased baking sheet. Bake for about 20 min or until golden brown.

too scary?

Tough shit.