Why Blogs Love Lists and “Safe” Shortbread Cookies

I’ve been browsing my old blog entries. Cringing and with a puke bin beside me. And I realized something:

“Holy Googlesex (my new favorite word)! I am obsessed with lists!!! “

But after a few quick blog readings, I realized that everyone is obsessed with lists. I am unique, just like everyone else. So I thought about why we love lists so much and you guessed it:

I decided to list those reasons:

1) We like simplicity

When I wrote, “Reasons I’m not reading your blog“, my orignal title was: “A Few Annoying Things about Blogs That Are Annoying And Then Some Other Shit I Just Kinda Threw in There Because I Got Distracted By Quinoa and Angry Birds.”

I posted it and only two hits. Both from me, checking why no hits. Obviously, no one likes quinoa or angry birds cause I was sure that was a selling point.

2) Lists Are Versatile

Lists can be both pee-in-your-trousers hilarious or very deep and meaningful. Take for example my list of 10 Things Jews Do On Christmas. That is a way lists can be some what humorous. But want to cry from a list? How about Schindler’s List? Deep, stuff. Coincidentally, both these examples involved Jews. Oy.

 3) They Help You Skim

I have a feeling everyone reads a blog they don’t actually love to read. Maybe they know the person and just want to support them, maybe the blogger always comments on their blog so they feel the need to return the favor…Regardless, sometimes, posts can be humdrum and a list can make it simple for us to just skim, get the basic gist, and still manage to write a thoughtful comment.

And if you read through this bit without skimming, congratulations! I will reward you with this valuable piece on information about me:

I have an electric toothbrush, but I prefer my accoustic.

4)  They Are Finite

 They don’t usually go on and on. And if they do, you can skip to the bottom of the list. And like I said before, sometimes what we read is a drag and the end gives us some hope. Its like in class when its 3:29 and class gets out at 3:30. Or like when a terrible movie finally ends. Cough, Gigli, cough…..It’s a great sigh of relief!

So on that note, I better end it.

Why do you think lists are so popular on blogs? And please read the recipe today. I know many people skim my recipes but I wrote this one out thoughtfully.

For today’s food portion of the program, I was slightly sad to hear so many of you are terrified of sugar, butter, and oil. Not shocked, but sad.

You missing out folks.

Anyhow, I thought I’d make a recipe that goes easy on all those areas to help wean you into the sugar/fat bandwagon. Its a fun wagon too!

  • 1 cup flour (All purpose but if your “scared of carbs” I think coconut would work well. If you scared of coconut flour, try sand)
  • 3/4 cup mashed banana (if your scared of banana, tough shit)
  • 1/2 cup powdered sugar (if you scared of sugar or a raging diabetic, try pulsing stevia or you fake sugar of choice in a blender)
  • 1/2 cup chocolate chips (you have no excuse, chocolate has no substitute. Except sex. And GOOD sex not shitty-I-was-so-wasted sex)

So simple, just blend everything with a spoon or your hands and plop it on to a greased baking sheet. Bake for about 20 min or until golden brown.

too scary?

Tough shit.

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34 thoughts on “Why Blogs Love Lists and “Safe” Shortbread Cookies

  1. I laughed at so many parts of this. “Tough shit” is the cherry on the (low carb, so sugar, high sand) cake. So great love it. And I will even take a stab at this recipe- promise no sand. I do like bananas but yes, you are right- I’m scared of them. crazy I know.

    I love lists for all the reasons you said. What’s an accoustic toothbrush- an ultrasonic?

    Lots of books are lists too “the 5 dysfunctions of a team” for example. That’s the only one I can think of. I’m only one person and I’m that dysfunctional. Plus it’s way past my bed time and someone is considering pre-cuddling with me (hint: she has 4 legs)

    • AH! I love your comments! they always outdo my own post. 1) banana aint so bad once you pretend to talk on them when cops are out and your driving. So much fun! 2) “acoustic” means like a regular tooth brush…like “back and forth”…old school 3) yes, books and magazines LOVE lists: 50 most “beautiful” people, 6 ways to loose your belly, 10 ways to make your boobs not sag, 10 steps to hotter “sexting”…etc….

      • I totally LOLZd myself silly when I read your tweet about it being legal to talk on a banana while driving in view of a cop. Is there a law against being crazy in California? You just want to date a cop, don’t you?

      • Oh yea, you know me…I’d love to date a cop but he may get mad at me as I try to “sext and drive”. And I suggest you just walk around the store talking on your banana. People give you the creepiest but rather entertaining looks!

  2. My bambino would love those cookies. It’s got his 3 favorite things: sugar, chocolate & bananas (in that order too). I love the fact that you keep saying “tough shit.” And in case you care, I actually read the whole post, not just skimmed it!

  3. haha not wasted sex??? love how you threw that in there

    I will admit I do skim some blogs, not yours ;), but sometimes I got other things to do, but do like to check in on my friends.

    but to answer your question, I think list look pretty on blogs because helps it look more organized…well if done right

  4. bahah people are crazy. the whole point of cookies is that you’re eating butter, flour, chocolate, etc! my coworker just told me her mom wanted to make one of my recipes…until she saw that it had heavy cream in it. C’MON PEOPLE! i’m all for healthy living and eating but everything in moderation is a-ok, heavy cream included!

  5. I’m not a blogger so I never comment but I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and please don’t ever stop blogging! Your hilarious and so sarcastic, the perfect storm!! 😉 I love this recipe too!!

  6. acoustic toothbrush. that is awesome. I have one of those too.

    and talking on a banana will never get old for me. I did it just yesterday – Jason was working from home and in his office on the phone. I walked in and held out a banana, saying it was for him. He laughed, then explained to the whole group call why. They’re all engineers, so aside from Jason, humor is lost on many. They probably think I’m nuts.

    I love lists. I never skim this blog, because I KNOW I would miss something. like wasted sex.

      • Oh dear Deb…are you not getting the joke? Im comparing tooth brushes to guitars. Like “electric toothbrushes” and “electric guitars”…But everyone seems to have veeners these days.

  7. I know i like lists because I get bored easily so i just assume other people do too. i get distracted as well, except its usually something sparkly.

  8. you’re right chocolate has no substitute other then..chocolate…i have this stupid chocolate bar in my freezer thats like a lavendar chocolate nad i have no idea what to do with it, oh an di have a ginger one too but i don’t know what to do with it either because they taste like poo by themselves. i’m not sure why i shared that..

    anyways i always get the most comments on blog posts with lsits. i think i’m just going to start writing in lists like
    1. food
    2. workout.
    3. sleep
    4. pee
    and then post a picture of myself on the toilet

  9. To be honest, I skipped the lists because my attention span is too short even for that. [And yet, I write horrendously long blog posts.] However, if I hadn’t just made a tasty treat whose composition is essentially butter, sugar, and honey (oh wait, that’s sugar too), I would be making these cookies right now.

    Although I still might.

  10. Pingback: awesome things.

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