You may have noticed I changed my gravatar lately.
Yes, I know. I’m so hot.
I’d totally get boner if I was man….Oh wait, I am one! (cue the creepy emoticon) 😉
That same day, I left my hair and make up on and went to my usual grocery store and was hit on about three times. Yea, I know, who can blame them….but I also felt like I was treated differently. I had like 40 items in the express line and they all let me go. The man behind me looked older than my dad and asked me if I was texting my boyfriend on my phone to which I replied “I’m texting my mister”.
Infidelities aside, this made me wonder about appearances, and how other people respond to them.
When I was in middle school, I was incredibly shallow. I’ll admit it, I wanted to be friends with pretty people. I was friends with some fugly looking people, but they had to earn it. They had to have been exceptionally kind or funny or something to make up for the fact that their face looked like a foot.
I know, I was an ass hole.
But the truth is, whether or not we admit it, we respond to things that attract us. I read somewhere (and whenever anybody says, “I read somewhere..” I think they’re lying but I swear I am not) that they surveyed employers and they noticed they were more likely to employ people who looked more attractive. And these jobs didn’t center around appearances (like modeling or ugh…standing at the entrance to an Abercrombie and Fitch).
I sometimes wonder if the same works for blogs. Do we read some blogs because we like the way someone looks? Do we think their body is toned and hence we are curious what they eat (or more accurately, what they don’t eat…or puke, although I doubt they will tell you about that).
Nowadays, I think I’m the total opposite of how I used to judge people. Now, I think I’m mean and bitter towards skinny, pretty, “put-together” people when I first meet them. Not like I outlaw them as having any potential of being my friends, but they have to earn my love and respect. The same attitude I used to have towards people whose face resembled a foot.
I have a similar attitude towards me. If you are a gorgeous man, I assume you have a brain the size of a kiwi. I tend to actually crush on super nerdy guys. Don’t get me wrong. Ryan Reynolds can fuck me anytime, anywhere! But I would never marry such a man. I’m more on the level of Michael Cera or even that guy who played Mark Zuckerberg in the “Social Network”. I think I’m attracted to guys that can look like they can fix my computer….
Anyhow, I want to say to you that, “beauty is on the inside” and that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”. And it totally is, BUT…………
let’s be real, your life is a tad harder when you look like a foot. And even worse when you smell like one too.
And if you’re wondering how I feel about myself, I’ll tell you this:
I don’t think downright fugly. I don’t look so hot in between the hours of 10 pm-9am but after a good nights sleep, washed hair, a little cover up and mascara and I look decent. I will never turn heads because I can’t have my make up and hair done like a sex pot everyday. But I know that I have potential to give myself boner 😉
So I’m curious to hear from you on this topic? Do you find yourself being a little biased towards “better looking” people? Do you think you are good-looking?
And on to the edible portion of the program. I’ve been really feeling for my friend Amanda who found out she can’t have gluten anymore. So I’ve decided to make share my recipe for gluten free cocoa crepes. Dont worry Amanda, this isn’t a death sentence.
I definitely know that people react differently toward me now than when I was heavier- even just 20 pounds heavier…even children/pre-teens are nicer to me than before! We start young for sure, sad as it may be.
As far as I can tell, I don’t treat people better because of good looks, but who knows? Perhaps unconsciously I do. I know that I peek at a few blogs simply because the gravatar is attractive or clever.
What do I think about me? I think that I look like hell until I have some mascara and eyeliner on and lipstick- without it I look like the grim reaper.
And that carrot would KILL dr Atkins had he not already slipped to his icy death. My aunt picks out shreds of carrots from her salads- piece by piece. Yah, carbophobia runs in my family.
Whoops forgot to check the box to receive comments. That is all. I have nothing more to add. 🙂 (and you know some hater is gonna use a fake email address and leave you an anonymous comment about how conceited you are…little do they know that you can trace their IP address and find out who they are anyway, muahaha!
My 17 year old nephew sat at my computer one day and went through my google reader leaving nasty comments and also posted all crazy stuff as me in Facebook (I know, he is a gem) and defriended people. He actually left a nasty comment on my blog ….I went to the back-end for the IP and and low and behold….When he fessed up he “couldn’t remember” where he commented but I found out about a few of them. I was so furious I stopped blogging or commenting for a couple weeks. If he left one on your blog I apologize. I know he called one Blogger a “stupid barbie doll” so – yeah, appearances on blogs matter I guess.
nah, I think your gorgeous even under a burka
For the most part.. I tend to go for the geekier or less attractive people. The super thin, pretty, put together gals just make me feel bad about myself.. I like to go for the average or just below average folks so that I fit right in.
Damn, that sounded so shallow. But I guess that’s just how it is.
I like geeks too–I wonder if it’s because I figure that they’re more on my level anyway. I usually don’t judge too much on appearance…Although I do sometimes feel sorry for people I think are really fugly. I’m not overly thrilled by my appearance these days (I’m about 30 lbs. overweight at the moment, which does tend to drag the self-esteem down a bit), but I know I’m not ugly. I’m lucky in that I wear minimalist makeup anyway, so if I go without, it’s not a big deal, although I do think I look a lot better if I at least put some lipstick or gloss on. And if all else fails, I just wait for my son to tell me I have pretty hair (I don’t really know why he focuses just on my hair, but I’ll take it!)–Even if it usually means he’s just trying to get out of being put in time-out.
But I’m so much dumber than geeks…..and most “normal” people, actually.
I’m not ashamed to say I was much hotter when I was much heavier and would probably look at myself with disgust today (you know, if I could have an out-of-body experience and look at myself.) People hit on me all the time and to be honest, I can’t remember the last time I was actually approached with a creepy pick-up line. Part of it is also age–I’m not 21 anymore, but part of it has to be looks.
What’s funny though is that I think my personality lends itself to being attractive (I don’t mean that in a conceited way.) The people I attract now are attracted to that instead of my legs, although to be honest, I wish it was a combination of the two. Who doesn’t want to feel hot? Hello?
Anyway, I think it’s the same way with me with blogs. I would almost rather NOT really know what the person looks like because then I know I’ll judge them (just being honest.) I like having a basic picture to put with the words, but otherwise I prefer to just have the posts speak for themselves instead of a bunch of glamour shots. *Shrug*
P.S. You are hot though, so I don’t blame any anonymous haters. I’ll come right out and say it–I kind of want to kick your ass, but you’re too much like me personality-wise for me to hate on 😉
I just read this again and realized what an ass I sounded like. In the first part, I meant I got hit on 10 years ago when I was heavier and healthier. Not now. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been hit on 😉 Good lord, that made me sound so conceited and I’m cringing…a lot.
My sister used to do the hiring for the “models” at A & F. What a weird, weird job. They pay you $8 an hour to stand outside of a door looking constitipated and shirtless.
YAY, thanks for the recipe! I am excited about trying some new things. And I was just whining about not being able to eat crepes! Love you!
8 bucks an hour for basically being a stripper? Thats lame, and I bet you cant even slip them some cash in their jeans for a lap dance!
There have been a lot of psychology experiments that have found that we view attractive people more favorably. Even babies have been shown to prefer pictures of more “attractive” faces. So I think it’s pretty true. That being said, a beautiful-looking person can quickly lose their charm in my eyes if they are mean, selfish, or a downer.
Also, why DOES Abercrombie and Fitch have those people that stand there at the entrance to the store? I already know it’s Abercrombie and Fitch – I can smell it from a mile away!
I swear, I want to throw pies at those models. They’ll be so scarred of the calories of the pie seeping into their skin and thus making them fat.
I’ve been lurkin’ it on your blog for a while but this post really struck a chord with me, so this is me moseying out of the shadows. As someone who’s been all over the map appearance-wise (I used to weigh about 65 pounds more than I do now), I could not agree more with your analysis. To add a somewhat original two cents from the whole weight loss thing, I think hair color makes a huge difference as well. I dyed my naturally bright red hair dark brown this year, which was…eye-opening. I think I’m attractive in a fairly unoriginal high-cheekbones-classic-features kind of way, and I had no idea I was being treated differently as a redhead, but I definitely feel like people “got me” and my sarcastic streak more as a brunette. You meet a sassy redhead and you think “ugh, what a fucking squirrelly ginger” (pardon my French, but I feel like if anyone can appreciate a casual F-bomb it’s you) (and if there’s anything in that statement you should be offended by, it’s the g-word. So hateful), but a being a brunette made my caustic personality more of an exciting surprise than a tragic inevitability. I ended up going back to the red eventually anyway, but I’m considering investing in a brown wig for job interviews, first dates and other times I need to be extra likable. I’ve never been a blonde (and never will…because it would be a disaster), but I’m sure that makes a difference as well.
Anyway: KEEP DOIN’ WHATCHU DO, GURL. Your wit and honesty are amazeballs with a side of awesomesauce. And I mean that with maximum irony.
Well I think your gorgeous. I think personality has a HUGE role in the way someone looks as well (after you get to know them I should say). I am probably biased based on appearance. With that being said, I don’t exactly think i’m anything special to look at so I probably shouldn’t be biased huh?
I tend to beat myself up when I spend time with people who seem really put together, who are attractive, and look like they put time into their appearance. I know that isn’t their fault, but I just feel like a slob since I don’t wear makeup and my clothes are not the best. I just don’t care to be honest, but I start to care once I’m around someone else who cares about themselves. Does that make sense? So I end up feeling bummed about my own appearance so I tend to avoid those types of people.
I care about the way I look, but not nearly as much as most people. I dont wear make up every day and I’ve had the same clothes for years. I’m a hobo, actuallly 😉
I don’t consciously choose to be biased towards good-looking people, but I probably am. It’s hard not to be, sadly. Of course, I always think my friends are good looking, and that’s because a) they are and b) when you really know somebody and like them of course you think they are attractive.
I think I’ve become more attractive as I’ve gotten in better shape, but it’s also a confidence thing. I’m more confident in my skin now than I used to be.
I think confidence has a lot to do with things, as well as personality. personality you may not “see” right away, but the way someone holds themselves, interacts with people and just their general approach – all that is very attractive / interesting to me. yes, we all naturally gravitate to that which is pleasing to the eye, but the true ugly is on the inside.
I WANT those crepes.
I am similar; I gravitated toward the pretty people in middle school and was a total biatch to the nerdy boys and girls. Now I hate on the Bergdorf blondes of the world and that girl who is standing with the gaywads in that A&F photo. I think I am just jealous because my looks never panned out the way I wanted them to. I had a lot of potential in my youth, I peaked at 31, it has been all down-hill ever since. Crepes look good, though!
I peaked at four
i must’ve peaked in utero! sometimes i think that (and the fact that i’m a tomboy) is the reason why i’ve never had a boyfriend in my 22 years. oh well!
I have to admit even when I watch movies, the movie has to have good looking actors/ actresses in them, or it’s not worth the time. If I’m going to spend 1.5-2 hours watching a screen, I’d like to see something worth seeing. Especially if the movie is horrible, at least there’s eye candy.
When I first began reading blogs, I would try to find people who had my body type, and looked well put-together, I could look up to them and feel like I was less criticizing. Also, I would do that with just the look of the actual blog. First impressions are everything, right? Wrong. . .That was many years ago, as time went on I realized how little that has to do with how much I liked the blog.
I think I am pretty, but not so much without makeup. Therefore, I really try to be thankful and humble, especially when I have makeup on. Sometimes I see a man whistle at a woman, and she automatically becomes high-minded as if all the sudden she’s ‘higher’ then he is and acts better -when that’s the reason she put on makeup in the first place – to look good. She doesn’t realize that it does take a guy guts to hit on you, etc…
Bottom line: Makeup is really deceiving. Just as you said, people notice and seem to be more talkative when I’m “dolled-up”, but not everyone realizes how different they’d be towards people without makeup / OR with makeup (say they didn’t have time or money for it)
I try to be low-minded, realizing that looks are just looks.
You are stunning – no wonder you got hit on like crazy!!!
I am attracted to people who are outgoing or really-freakin`smart. I don`t care what they look like, but I might have cared more in high school.
I often think people shun the blogs of the less attractive 100%. I don’t drag myself to body pump and I’m pretty sure one of my thighs is the same thickness as some of their waists.
The sad part is that I feel like the content on my blog is more valuable then some popular bloggers and yet I feel like not a lot of people will notice, or care about mine because I like to eat and i was born with baby making hips.
It’s especially hard trying to blog about being a natural foods chef because I still have issues with food and body image. Who wants to believe me?!
Whatever . . . I have an awesome personality and I’m going to keep writing.
amen, to everything you wrote!
Yep, pretty people have easier lives. That’s just the way it is. When I am in sweats and a sweater, no one holds the door for me or talks to me. But put on an actual pair of pants (or whatever) or even a dress (the horror!), and it’s as if I got a boob job –> Instant stares, glances, comments, door openings, etc.. But I do the same thing, I’m straight, but if a super hot girl walks into wherever I am, I look up. Everyone like beauty, be it beautiful people, art, food, scenery, whatever!
As far as men, I’m with you. If there’s a guy who’s supppper hot, I automatically think he’s a twit. I don’t really go for the Michael Cera type (a little too boyish for my own personal taste). I’d love me some John Hamm or Javier Bardem, but since they are both unavailable, I’m more attraacted to the Andy Samberg (my favorite kind of sexy nerd) and Ryan Gosling types.
Damn… this has just reminded me of how long it’s been…. lol
Oh yes, Andy Samberg is up at the top of my list. A guy that makes me pee in my pants from laughter is a sure fire panty dropper.
yum cocoa crepes! well…i think people are def nicer to those with good looks. i believe it even lends itself in the work environment as well especially when mistakes are made. they prettier person seems to get off a little easier in my experience. i’ve suffered with low self esteem for most of my life. a lot of poor choices on my part stemmed from this as well. these days, i look at myself as a decent looking person but not ‘stop in your tracks’ good looking.
Cocoa crepes sound DELICIOUS!!
I think there is definitely a tendency for us to lean towards more “beautiful” people, which is SAD, and I hate that it’s true.
hahahaha i was just talking to deej about this the other day about how i know i’m not really attractive with the bare minimum but can make myself semi attractive with the tools that are made for women to be attractive. and it wasn’t a compliment fishing session because I HATE THOSE. i was just telling her that i understand myself and that i’m cool with it and that i know the steps i have to take in order to make people want to look at me hahahaha
but i hate the blog world because of people who kiss ass to the ‘pretty people’ like umm HELLO most people only post the ‘pretty’ pictures. take a picture of what you look like when you first wake up guarantee those people lose 10 readers that day hahaha
I need a deej in my life
So I should definitely keep my techie husband away from you? Because you would be SO attracted to the fact he can fix a computer…anytime, anyplace.
You should see me between the hours of 8pm and 6am. It isn’t pretty. I have the glasses, the pajamas, the scary hair…but at least I can feel halfway attractive when I pull it together in 10 minutes. All I need is 10 minutes! I’m pretty proud of that.
geeks are sexy. 😉 but i get what you mean. people have a tendency to want to surround themselves in beauty… or maybe that’s what libras like to do. gotta keep your surroundings aesthetically pleasant to the eye.
I actually feel it a lot a work – we’re a international company but a pretty young one with the average age of employees at around 27. People treat the ‘prettier’ girls a lot differently and often I feel invisible when they are around, no matter how hard I work. It doesn’t help when I know I feel like I need to lose the 5-7 kilos I gained since working there. /end rant lol.
I don’t usually post pictures of myself on my blog (ok my last post was some gratuitous self-whoring coz I was proud of my biceps) and hopefully people read coz they like the way I write 🙂
Blog wise – I like looking at pretty pictures but I get more turned on by the content – whether it’s thoughtful or insightful or plain funny. Pretty only lasts so long, you need something to back it back to keep coming back again,