How To Spot A Blog Whore

Its hard to avoid social media.

Blogs, twitter, facebook, google + (don’t even get me started on that!)

Sometimes, I want to just do a puzzle!

But there are people out there that live and breathe social media. It’s all about them and all about promoting themselves.

 That’s what blogs are. Me, me, me, me, me. It overlaps into twitter and facebook too. So how do you spot these blog whores? I have a few red-flags:

 Nobody Knows What They Actually Do

 I think you know you’re talking to a social media whore when you strike up a conversation that sounds much like this:

“So, what do you do?”

 “I access social media and market it to help the common good!”

“No, like what pays the bills?”

“I’m an internet marketing ninja!”

 “Ninja? That’s a job?”

 “I have an iPhone!”

I can’t compete with that. They DO have an iPhone so I better be quiet.

 

“LOOKATMELOOKATMELOOKATME” Tweets, Blog Posts and Statuses

Nothing makes my own computer AND my iPhone gag like seeing a tweet like this,

“It’s SUCH a beautiful morning! What a great day ahead! I’m so busy doing social-media-business-ey things!”

 Bleh! Yes, all blogs and facebook pages are obviously a little self-absorbed, but what this tweet translates to in my mind is:

“Look how dedicated I am to my self-professed obsession with social communication; I just never unplug!!! Off to take a shit!”

(ok, I added the shit part because this post was lacking some profanity)

 

They think they are celebrities

Fun Fact: Being big on the internet does not grant you “celebrity” status. No matter how many stalkers, twitter followers, blog readers you have. Don’t think you are holier than thou just because 100 people retweeted your tweet about eating oatmeal this morning. Plus, you really don’t want to be a celebrity anyhow because most people just point and laugh at celebrities (when I say “most people” I mean me).

Listen to the kitty

They Get Too Overprotective Over Anything That Has Appeared On Their Blog

Bloggers with their head too deep into their blog treat their blog as if it were their baby…maybe even better than a baby. If they see some other blog do a “confessions” post (which let’s face it, almost every blog does), they will immediately call their lawyers to write up a lawsuit for infringing on their copyright. Don’t even get me started on “recipe ownership”. You didn’t invent nut butter or pilates or breathing (because I believe Janetha has breathing copyrighted). Get over yourself and let go of your blog-child.

 They will seek out any event/conference/convention for their whoring pleasure

Like a Jersey Shore cast member looking for another victim to give herpes to, social media whores will seek out any conference/convention/festival. And they will jump to speak at such events without a flinch of hesitation:

You want me to speak at BlogConf ‘10? Because I’m available!

You want me to attend FoodBeat Festival? I’m there!

PornLivingSummit? Where do I sign up?!

 Such conventions and summits just feel like “high school”. I do go to the foodbuzz festival because a lot of my good friends attend and it’s my only chance to see them. But unless they offer me big bucks to speak (which I’m just SHOCKED that they don’t!), I don’t attend.

There you have it. If you do any (or all) of these things, don’t take it personally. I’m sure social media whores are excellent dressers and have hearts of gold. I just don’t want to read your tweet about it.

Did I miss anything on the list? How do you feel about people that can’t seem to unplug? Can YOU unplug?

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43 thoughts on “How To Spot A Blog Whore

  1. You missed “They don’t care if their posts have a million typos because they know they’ll still get hits” (3 blogs come to mind with that one – “big” blogs).

  2. Ugh. I am completely over anything social media-wise. I like Facebook for the fun aspect, but I can’t stand a blog that is constantly referring me to Twitter or to “like” them or that makes me feel excluded from life because I don’t Tweet or follow them wherever they go. I understand that for some people blogging is their job, but for 99 percent of us, it’s a freaking hobby.

    Plus, I think too many people spend too much time “networking” about social networking and blogging than they do actually writing anything worth reading. But then again, I’m not a “big” blog, so perhaps I should quit my job and enjoying nature and actual social contact and whore myself out more…;)

  3. Please don’t hate me because I’m going to be a speaker at the PornLivingSummit!

    I’ll be on the panel for midget/grandma porn.

    I swear I didn’t whore myself out, they came to me . . . . Weird.

  4. While I usually spend a few hours on the computer each day between blogging and school, I definitely spend most of the days “unplugged”. Sometimes on the weekends I don’t even open my laptop. Cell phones sometimes annoy me and I log on to Facebook maybe twice a month. I sound like a failure to our generation, but whatever.

    And I agree with Abby – what happened to writing?!

  5. I am all about unplugging. I usually find myself dicking around on twitter and facebook the most when I’m just straight up procrastinating, but when I have fun stuff going on, anything social media related is the last thing on my mind

  6. I love unplugging now and then — every couple of weeks I take the whole week (or two) off of blogging. I spend maybe 10 minutes on Twitter each day and about 10 minutes on Facebook — but that is my personal account, not my blog’s account. I spend maybe 2 seconds on there just to see if maybe 1 person liked my post.

  7. I am such a tech whore, haha I can’t even lie! BUT I do definitely find myself needing breaks!

    This post really made me think – so many of us could use a HUGE break

  8. I’ve been in the backwoods of the Ozark mountains for the past few days and have only been online sporadically. It was nice not to be on so much.
    I agree with hating all the dumb promotion tweets – and some people have 3 of the same tweet and that’s annoying.
    I don’t even have a Facebook anymore, I deactivated due to the hassle and the fact they changed their privacy stuff. I liked not having anyone being able to friend me. Now it’s either anyone or a friend of a friend.

    Celebrities? I totally regard you, Deb, Janetha, Susan and a few others as celebrities! And with Janetha copywriting breathing and the Internet – that doubles her celebrity status!

  9. I’m unplugged right now.

    I do like twitter, but I recently disabled the part on tweet-deck that pops up each time a new tweet is… tweeted. It was just too much – twitter will be there when I want to check it.

    and YEEEESSSS to veggiegirl! typos or even… straight up misspelled words. there is one example that I know wasn’t a misspelling, and I swear I could hear my mom telling me “watch out, they’ll stick that way!” when my eyes were rolling.

  10. I love technology and what it has to offer, but I also think it has a big negative impact on relationships. People that can’t seem to unplug drive me insane – texting while hanging out with friends (that’s actually rude), going to parties just so they can take tons of drunken pics and post them on FB and so on. I’m actually not even on Facebook (yes, I got a lot of hassle for it, as I should have it ”because everyone has one and we should totally be friends on there”) neither I have a twitter account. I miss the days when people spent more time together in person, as opposed to liking/commenting/etc.

  11. I admit, I am almost never unplugged between school, work, and fun (aka blogs, megavideo, facebook, etc). But I am thinking about taking a whole week off before school starts.

  12. I don’t get twitter. At all. I think it is a generational gap…my friends my age are with me on that. We facebook. That’s as much as we can handle (0:

    PS- I am developing a VERY hostile attitude toward chicken curry watchemacallitsohnevermind. It’s kind of frightening. Everytime I open the browser I am like BOO. HISS.

  13. I am not very social media savvy and in fact, I rarely know what to tweet! But I agree, I detest reading the most useless tweets…which are 99% of the tweets out there!

    • someone told me I should do a stand up act where I just read my tweets. I think if anybody can feel ok doing that, then maybe their tweets are acceptable. Otherwise it just sounds lame.

  14. Unplugging is key. I am fairly certain that my friends and I have a conversation at least once a week about how technology has taken over and how glad we are that we grew up before the internet-era. I will be the first to admit that I am glued to my iPhone.. but unplugging is necessary.. especially for the sake of my marriage, actually. Can’t wait to go to Tahoe and unplug! You better believe I will be instagramming that shit!

  15. You nailed this one. I just went through my reader a few weeks ago, and basically anyone who didn’t have anything more substantive to contribute than oatmeal, running, or their pup, they got cut. I should have done this a long time ago – my life is already less sorority-esque.

  16. lol. You totally crack me up, Eden.
    I’m so tired about reading about oatmeal. The worst are a few people who like to make “oatmeal parfaits”, which basically look like puke overflowing from a glass. Then everyone ohhh and ahhhs.
    My other favourite are some full time bloggers which makes post like. “OMG everyone! I had the busiest day evarrrrr!!!! I got up, went for a leisurely jog, made some oatmeal, went shopping and then wrote this post!!! I’m so tired!!! But remember, everyone can find time to workout just like me!!!!!”. People who don’t actually have full-time jobs and a commute really shouldn’t be telling people that they too can emulate their workout habits.

  17. gosh for the longest time I thought I was weird because I don’t get facebook….but a few years ago I finally joined, but think I was on it mabe once every other month or something. But as social media got bigger I felt pressured to do more. But now I have realized I cannot do it all, haha I am taking much more time away from things to focus on my career

  18. Haha- it’s funny to see how different people approach social media. Am I unplugged? I was unplugged enough to be your 58th comment. If I’m on-the-fly, I’ll only instagram (LOVE!!!!) or check email and send super short replies. Some days I’m feeling the love for Facebook or twitter. Other days I feel like I’d rather poke my eyes out with razors than open Hootesuite (for Facebook and Twitter, yo). Then I’m in love with it for a few days. Then I’m done. Social Media ADD.

    The first cartoon was hilarious and here’s another thing: sometimes when people check in places, it’s useless (Starbucks, again…addicted much?) or it makes me feel like shit: example: my new-mom friend checks in at Tiffany’s and Facebooks “Dear Auntie Ann, I’m so happy to be shopping for my silver spoon or what-the-fuck-ever-a-baby-needs-at-Tiffany’s!” (I made that last part up). But I certainly didn’t send her a gift certificate to Tiffany’s! So that felt shitty.

    I agree- Tweet stand up would be hilarious in your case. Your dad can do a show called “shit my daughter says” 🙂

  19. POMLivingSummit – now that is funny. The blog world needs more Edens. If anything, all of our posts could use a little more profanity. I’ll have to work on that.

    Foodbuzz needs to change their dates as I would love to go and meet all of my favorite bloggers, but it’s Summer’s 1st birthday that weekend. I’ll get there someday.

  20. I can unplug and I can’t… I ALWAYS have my phone with me, and it’s an iPhone but these days I’m mostly trying to find stuff to make my new house cute… On my budget (not easy – even worse when I realize my budget is freecycle and craigslist and doesn’t even allow for the scratch and dent store)
    But anyway back to your question people who can’t unplug kinda scare me… 4 square freaks me out. Like I want the world to know where I am. I don’t need a tracking device thankyouverymuch that’s for stay at home prisoners and their ankle bracelets

  21. May I add one more thing? Please, please bloggers ~ stop with the pics of yourself in your car driving with your big smoothies/ice coffees/green monsters in your hand and stupid smiles. Just stop. For one, they are not flattering, for another, it just looks as if you want to show off. It just goes with the whole “look at me..” idea that is just plain annoying. sorry, just had to get it out while we were on the subject. Thank you Eden, great post. You are very insightful and straight up. Love it!!

  22. Great post. So true and exactly what I was thinking of today as I read yet another blog that talked about “Instagram”, “Pinterest”, “Twitter”, etc….WTF??! I mean seriously – the SAME bloggers/people that say they’re so busy, anxious, are lonely or whatever – and they find ANOTHER social media outlet?! How the heck do they get time with that and blogging and “Work”.

    Another peeve of mine is when bloggers say “Sorry it’s my job”. If they post recipes or whatever for a living – okay fine – then when they start talking and writing stories about themselves and their own “enlightened” eating habits – they say “it’s my job”.

    Uh, Get Over Yourself.

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