Blueberry Gnocchi with Balsamic Reduction and A Bummer Summer

I don’t do well with seasons.

(cue random food porn from today’s recipe)

 Living in Southern California most of my life, I’m used to 72 and breezy. A little below that and I bust out ear-muffs.  A little warmer and I feel like clearing out the fridge and setting up camp in there.

But this week it was especially hot. It was the 4th of July, un-potty-trained kids were loose, and I was reminded that summer can be a bit of an ass hole.

So lets break it down:

Too Hot for “Sexy Time” : For all the babies born 9 months from now: your parents DEFINITELY had air conditioning.  Sexy time (aka sex) in the summer can get sticky. So if you’ve woken up glued to someone else’s body and had the” balls” (pun intednded) to call them after, there’s probably something there.

Tweeting, Facebooking, Blogging about the weather: Ok, its a little hypocritical cause I just did it, but I hate when a season of extreme (winter, summer) hits and people feel the need to proclaim it.

“It SOOOOOO hot, you guys! You can literally fry an egg on the sidewalk. LOLZ!”

(again with the abuse of the word literally and no one should every “LOLZ” without sarcasm)

“Its SOOOOO cold, I can’t feel my penis!”

Um…I don’t really care. Stop littering my twitter/facebook feed about the weather. Are you seriously trying to compete with Al Roker?

 

School’s Out: Not only are kiddies fair game to be out and about any day of the week, all the teachers are off too, as are some companies, and the usual people that never had jobs but have money. This equates to lots of crowds. Someone once asked me,

“Hey!? You know what would be a cool idea! If we went to Disneyland in July!”

Yea, as much as I can appreciate a churro shaped like Micky Ears (and believe me, I can appreciate it!), guess you thought of the same idea? Everybody. With crowds and little children come bitchy parents and short tempers. Even churros shaped like Mikey can’t soothe that.

“Parties”: In the summer, people feel the need to throw what I like to call “cool parties”. They usually occur on rooftops or by a swimming pool. But these parties are anything but “cool” to me.  First of all you have to know someone who is in­volved with the party (yea a facebook invite doesn’t mean much these days). Secondly, getting drunk and puking off the roof or into the pool is frowned upon even if you do it intentionally. Third, its basically for guys to check out hot girls and for girls to size up other hot girls.

Scantily Clad Skinny Bitches: I know, usually people are like,

“Ew… I hate summer cause I dont want to see all the fat people in bikinis!”

Fuck you, if you say that. Seriously, all the more power to you for wearing a bikini despite all those fat haters (ie, wannabe anorexics).

Its the scantily clad skinny bitches that piss me off. I don’t need to be reminded that the last time you had fat was from your mom’s breast milk! I know its hot, and I’m not telling you skinny bitches to cover up (which you might do anyway since your always so damn cold). Just don’t dress like a hoochie and consider cookies!

What’s a “bummer” about your summer? If you saw that movie, “Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer”, I think you might be to young to be reading all the profanity on my blog. Close the window immediately and play with you my little pony collection. Cause yes, their butt does indeed smell like cake!

And since its summer is blueberry season, heres a recipe to make it a little less “bummer”:

  • 2 large eggs, whisked together in a small bowl
  • 2 cups plus a litte extra all purpose flour, plus a little more for dusting
  • 16oz of whole milk or part skim ricotta
  • 1 cup of frozen or fresh blueberries
  • 1 3/4 tsp salt
  • pinch ground nutmeg
Instructions

In a large bowl, mix together the flour, salt, and nutmeg. Mix in the ricotta. When the ricotta and flour are combined, add the egg. Mix until just combined, being careful not to over-mix. Take out of the bowl, knead once or twice until the ball of dough just holds together. Cut into 4 pieces.Roll each piece into a 3/4″ wide rope. Cut the ropes into 1″ long pieces. If the rope is sticking, sprinkle a little flour. Press each piece gently with the tines of a fork and boil in salted water.

When the gnocchi float, cook another minute and taste to make sure they are cooked through. Remove with a slotted spoon to the saute pan with the blueberry sauce.

For the blueberry balsamic sauce:

  • 1/2 cup chicken stock
  • 1 heaping cup ripe blueberries (can be frozen)
  • 1 tablespoon aged balsamic vinegar
  • 1 teaspoon dried thyme, crumbled
  • 2 tbs orange juice
  • 1 tablespoon cold butter
  • Pinch kosher salt

Overmedium-high heat, pour in the chicken stock with the blueberries, orange juice, balsamic vinegar and thyme and stir.

When the berries begin to bubble, turn the heat to medium-low and stir for 1 minute.
Stir in the cold butter until it is incorporated and the sauce has thickened slightly.
Remove from the heat and pour over gnocchi.
Advertisements

26 thoughts on “Blueberry Gnocchi with Balsamic Reduction and A Bummer Summer

  1. Ooh, I like this, as I’m one that complains about the weather to myself all the time but hates when other people make it the only topic of conversation. Yes, I’m a hypocrite.
    Anyway, you live in California, so you can shut up (but at least you recognize you have it good there) 😉 In Michigan, it is ice storms in the winter and schitzophrenic in the summer–it goes from 90 and humid to 70 overnight.
    Lately it’s been 90, I don’t have air and the bugs are enough to drive me to drink. People think it’s OK to not wear shoes or shirts over their bathing suit tops. Walking/working out is a drag because I’m sweating balls before I even start, meaning I have to wait until 9pm to go for a walk without dying. Kids are everywhere at all times of the day/week, no “hot” food sounds good and everything melts and hair/makeup are pointless as the humidity screws that up in one second.

    Whew. With that said, I will be complaining about the cold in just a few short months…

  2. I totally talk about the weather – kind of obsessed b/c it determines whether or not I can run outside or the time I need to get my butt out there. And I’ve posted bikini pics – not scantily clad mind you. I like full coverage, no thong for this girl. Oh and 70 degrees is what I call chilly.

  3. Hot and humid for me – makes it hard to breathe. I hate the bugs too. But I just work all the time so i am at least in cold air all day (u know how cold they keep hospitals!)
    No parties for me but I am going to Destin in a few weeks – and l dread being in a swimsuit; I could care less if there are heavier people in them, I just dont wanna see an old man in a speedo/banana hammock! Blech! That’s a surefire way to ruin dinner.
    😉

  4. Oh lordy. Living in Vegas I really don’t understand why people bitch about hot weather when it’s only 90 fricken degrees outside. If you live in a humid area, fine. I’ll give you a pass. I grew up in Northern California and San Jose does get a little sticky during the summer but I’ll take 92 and humid up there over 108 and borderline dry/humid any day.

    And those skinny bitches? They can bite my left butt cheek. Pick a zip code. If you’re fortunate enough to be thin without having to exercise 10 hours a day just to lose 5 pounds good for you! Fat chicks like me just want to be left alone and not deal with their sneers. I used to get told I’d never land a good man because I’m fat. Funny thing is, I’m happily married to a hot piece of ass (okay, I’m biased) who is totally freaking awesome. And how many of the biggest bitches are still single? I’ll bet 95% of them. Eat a cookie or 10 and shaddap.

  5. My only bummer is that, with two jobs, it makes it very difficult to actually enjoy the summer.
    I’m cooped up anywhere from 9-16 hours a day. I can’t tell you the last time I came home from work and it was still light outside. I don’t mind the money, but I do mind being confused with Casper due do the lack of sunlight my body has seen.

    • It’s the same way in Michigan. The weather people don’t help though, as even though we get 90 inches of snow a winter, every snowflake is the next Blizzard of the Century (and Facebook statuses reflect this.)

      At least SLC was voted one of the top yoga cities in the country 🙂 That rocks!

  6. my dad sends me the weather all the time… a little obsessed maybe, haha, it has become a big joke in our family. Whenever he has something to send any of us girls, there is always a weather report not just for the city we live in, but for our home town and any other miscel. city….too funny

      • My brother too! Totally weather obsessed! It’s hilarious. He even gets alerts on his phone! 😀 Love him though. And sometimes when we’re driving into Palm Springs, Derek feels the need to announce the temperature for us. (like the girls give a crap)…”98″….”99″….”100″ Thank you Al Fucking Roker!

  7. and it was also a bad sign when the last guy i went on a date with (who previously talked about the weather on Facebook)… decided to talk about the weather to me during the 15 minute car ride… thankfully i never have to see that loser (ahem*) again LOL 😉

    sexy time with gnocci in a blueberry sauce… I LIKE IT! ❤

    xoxo

  8. Oh don’t forget that talking about the weather is the #2 Hobby for the British after stamp collecting! It’s a nation that is fascinated with the weather! (then comes gardening and train spotting).

    Today TODAY I was driving on Sunset Blvd- it was 70 degrees and totally comfortable and the newscaster comes on and says (word for word) “Well another hot and humid day in Los Angeles” WHAT !?!?!? If I wasn’t driving on curvy sunset blvd I would have lambasted him on twitter!! Crazy man.

    Summer bummer: the real serious one for me that causes me actual anxiety is worrying about how many people are leaving their dogs in the car when they just ‘pop into the store’ …not realizing that it just takes very few minutes for them to die. I actually get anxious about this- especially in Palm Springs. I might consider xanax.

    I have an idea: how about a penis-shaped churro? Oh wait! They already come that way hahaha.

  9. Hey, I LOVE talking about the weather 😦 But I also hate skinny bitches, so there’s that. I’m sure I’ve posted bikini pictures of myself but it’s at least under the guise of showing off my fabulous vacation, not just Sunday afternoon at the pool party. At least I’m telling myself that’s different, right?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s