Balsamic Blueberry Blondies and American Pride

For those that browse my site for food porn, lets get it over with:


As promised from yesterday’s shit talk about American things, I’m trying to reverse my karma and offering thing that make me proud to be living in the US.

Bacon in Everything: I love America’s embrace of all things bacon. I know, some people are so sick of “bacon chocolate”, “bacon soap”, “bacon-flavored-condoms”…but I personally have no problem with the bacon obsession. What happens when we have to eat a “meh” food? We toss some bacon on it! Honestly, bacon made me love salad. Cause really, who craves salad? But mention bacon IN a salad and I’m there. And I think its kind of amazing that if you feed a pig vegetable, it makes bacon.

The Snuggie: Can you believe how hot these things became? But you know, one thing I really love about infomercials is that they remind me about problems I never knew I had! I saw the Snuggie commercial and realized just how incredibly difficult it was for many people to get their hands out from under a blanket! (“…when you need to reach for something your hands are trapped inside.”).

Fuck you, France! With your silly berets! They have no use! Dude, we invented the blanket with sleeves that you can even wear to sporting events. I’m sorry, but I see someone in a baret or a kilt and I just can’t take you seriously.

The Spork: Americans have this thing where they like to take an existing product and try to make it better. The spork is one I’m proud of. Its like the spoon and fork had crazy utensil sex and the spork was their love child (the knife is that lonely chic with the 10,000 cats).

what do they use for protection?

I really admire the spork! I can eat pasta, mashed potatoes, chili, and ice cream at the same time!!!! You can’t get any more American than that!

Dave Thomas: I wanted to pick just one person for this list. It’s not like it was that difficult because after some research, I realized most of my favorite people I thought were American are Canadian. Anyhow, I narrowed it down to the founder of one of America’s fast food chains, Wendy’s.

I know what you’re thinking:

“Eden?! WTF?! Why is the founder of some mediocre fast food chain your top American person?!”

My friends, he truly encompasses all that is American. Aside from inventing frosties and baconaters (and you know my thoughts on bacons), he actually put KFC on the map! Thanks to my Wikipedia research, I learned that it was Dave who let the Colonel on a little secret to help boost his business, suggesting less choices on the menu.  Cause real American’s don’t like too many choices. Thinking and eating are mutually exclusive. He also dropped out of high school, attended the army, and had two first names. I kind of want to go to go to Spain and wake them up from their “seista” and yell, “Hey, at least WE’VE got Frosties!!!”.

Mostly, I’m just bitter I dont get to take a nap after lunch.

For today’s recipe, I took something American (blueberries) and married it with something un-American (balsamic vinegar) and it made a crazy good love child.

Maybe even better than the spork!

To make them you will need:

  • 1/3 cup unsalted butter, cut in pieces
  • 8 ounces white chocolate, chopped
  • 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/2 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • Pinch of salt

Balsamic Blueberry Topping:

  • 1 cup blueberries
  • 2 tbs sugar (for blueberry topping)
  • 1 tbs orange juice (or lemon juice)
  • 3 tbs of good balsamic vinegar
  1. Preheat oven to 350° F.
  2. Prepare the blueberry balsamic topping: in a small saucepan, bring the blueberry balsamic syrup ingredients to a boil.  Stir for one to two minutes and remove from heat.  Set aside.
  3. Butter and line a 9-inch baking pan with butter/spray and parchment.
  4. Place butter in a medium or large heat-proof bowl and put the bowl over a pot of simmering water, melt butter halfway.   Add half of the white chocolate and stir until chocolate has melted. Remove from heat and add in the remaining half of the white chocolate and stir until it’s all melted and smooth.
  5. With an electric mixer on high speed beat sugar and eggs until thick (this will take 2-3 min)  Reduce mixer speed to medium and add vanilla and chocolate/butter mixture, and beat just to combine.
  6. In a separate bowl, sift the dry ingredients.  Add to egg mixture and beat until smooth.
  7. Pour batter into prepared pan and pour the balsamic coated blueberries on top.
  8. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until a cake tester inserted into centre comes out clean.  Place on wire rack to cool completely.
  9. Remove from pan and cut into squares.
  10. go play with some fireworks, just not at 3am.

20 thoughts on “Balsamic Blueberry Blondies and American Pride

  1. good LORD those blondies look awesome.

    my Dad told me just today that there is bacon infused vodka. hmm. and one of the best massage therapists in Portland is Dave Thomas. he’s a vegan, though. and still around. 😀

  2. I effing love my snuggie. I was *this* close to buying the beach snuggie and realized I needed to re-evaluate my life before committing to such a purchase.

  3. I feel very unAmerican for not owning a Snuggie or consuming bacon, but I do enjoy the spork and seeing animals in clothes, so I think it evens out.

  4. Hilarious! Yes eating & thinking ARE mutually exclusive! That is why I suffer brain-rot.

    I love being able to shop at all hours of the night ( even though I don’t)… The only time I want to do that is when I’m in France or Portugal and everything closes at 5pm WTF. I love soft serve fro yo b/c the rest of the world doesn’t even know it exists yet. We’ve had it (in & out of food-fashion) since the 80’s!

    • I dunno, deb, you and are fairly good with eating and engaging in intelligent conversation….most of the time. Then again, you are part Sweed, and I’m American like Gwyneth Paltrow is British: I can do a good American accent and thats about it.

  5. Sorry that it’s been a few since my last comment but your new site layout looks soooo good!

    And those bars, nice!

    I recently posted a recipe for a mixed berry clafouti and your bars remind me of that.

    Except you used white choc….oh, how i could use some 🙂

  6. I am not a big bacon eater – I had a “pet” pig as a child and was devastated when it was sold to be food :(. Nothing against eating meat mind you, but he was my fave. I saw this recipe and of course immediately thought of Jessica (HowSweetEats)! It looks pretty good to me!
    I have a leopard snuggie and love it! I use sporks all the time. And I love Dave Thomas too!

    Recipe looks good. And by good balsamic vinegar, I presume you mean the $25.00 Williams-Sonoma kind? 😉

    No fireworks for me – just bed!

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