Garlic Bread Socca and The Scary Side of Overexercise

I sometimes ponder to myself how I EVER had an exercise addiction. How did I manage to haul my lazy ass-less ass to the germ-infused gym for so many hours and not contract some sort of STD?!

How the fuck did this happen?

Because the truth is, exercising can also be a little scary. There are tons of fitness blogs that will try to convince you otherwise (and I’m prepared for the hate mail I’ll receive), but trust me, it can do some crazy ass shit.

Not good shit. Bad shit.

Examples? I’ll give em to ya:

You Become A Sweat Fountain: Over exercise, and you might constantly look like there is a localized rainfall around your body. There actually is science behind this. As you increase your exercise intensity and duration, you condition your body to be better prepared for nazi athletic punishment. So even a little exercise an you’ll become a sweat fountain. A mere walk up the stairs and your body will go:

“Really, Eden!? Another stair-a-thon?! Oh well we better cool you off pronto by making your body look like its crying!”.

And no amount of deodorant will cover up that stink bomb.

Body Parts Will Go On Strike and Get Ugly: I’m sure 99.9% of you do exercise cause you want to look hot. Don’t be in denial. No one honestly loves spinning. They love feeling skinny and that’s what spinning might do to them. To each his own. Anyhow, you may think you look great in a bathing suit, but the truth is, if you overexercise, some body parts will go:

“Eff you, bitch! I’m being abused and I will get ugly!”

Oh, yes they will.

Exhibit A: Feet- Go ahead and burn your sandals/flip flops because the sight of your toes will look scarier than a Kim Kardashian sex tape.

you'll need a pair of these....

Manicurists will totally talk shit about your toes in a language you won’t understand. Actually, you might have no toenails at all.   Your feet will be calloused, smelly, and they call it “athletes foot” for a reason. Think about it…

Exhibit B: Nipples- God, I hate that word! I’m not saying “nipples”, I’m saying “utters”. Anyhow, girls get some leeway here since most sports bras wick away moisture. But when men sweat, they leave behind a layer of salt around their “utters” . And that combined with utters rubbing against a shirt….anyhow, you end up with bloody utters! Now that, is scary, ugly shit that cows will so not be jealous of!

Exhibit C: Chafing- Because nothing is as attractive and classy as a rash that resembles something you contract on a safari between your thighs.

You Reproductive System Will Hate You: For the three guys that read my blog, engaging in sustained physical effort cause your genitals to shrink. I know, I think this is why Cheryl Crow broke up with Lance Armstrong.

Ladies: Too much exercise and you period will scram. And that sounds like a dream and all, but you period is kind of important. Your bones will become brittle and more prone to fractures so you REALLY won’t be able to exercise.

But all in all, I guess being skinny, brittle, hairless and unable to become pregnant makes you a real catch for the douche population.

So there, I found an exercise silver lining after all!

Did I miss a side effect?

And maybe your sick of my little socca kick from last week. But tough shit cause I have a bag hanging around and I’m gonna use it up because I’m a cheap Jew that can’t throw away food, dammit!

For the “Garlic Bread Socca” you will need:

  • 1 cup  chickpea flour
  • 1 cup water
  • 3 cloves finely minced garlic
  • 3/4 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1/8 teaspoon thyme
  • 1/2 tbs dried oregano
  • 2 tsp dried basil
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
    Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
         Mix together the wet and dry ingredients.
        Pour the batter into a greased pan (I used a loaf pan but a cast iron skillet is the one most people use). Bake until the socca is firm, about 25 min. 5. Slide the socca out of the pan onto a cutting board, slice. I like adding a bit of salt a garlic powder onces its all slices up.

29 thoughts on “Garlic Bread Socca and The Scary Side of Overexercise

  1. Ew, was that guy really suffering from bleeding, chafed, utters? OW! I went through my OE period and it resulted in no period and saggy-ass boobies. No bueno. But, I do still actually like exercise. I also like socca bread! That looks really good. Might have to go buy some chickpea flour.

  2. Now now – I really do enjoy spinning (and running). I like feeling like a badass for pushing through the workout I guess. For me, honestly, it has nothing to do with being skinny. I am being absolutely honest (you know me well enough I hope). It’s the same with lifting weights too – it’s about the feeling of accomplishment, of doing something I didn’t think I could do. Of course, I’m thinking of over exercising in terms of over training not so much as from a “must lose weight and work off calories” standpoint (if that makes sense).

    For me, over exercising means over training which leads to piss poor performance. More is not always better.

  3. My eyes are scarred from that nipple chafing picture. Oh, Lord. Jeez.

    My feet suffer from my normal amount of exercise, so I shudder to think what they would look like if I did much more. Fucked up, that’s what.

  4. Stress fractures, muscle loss, and depression because youre so focused on exercise that you have no real life are also side effects (I’m speaking of the OCD 3 or more hour a day exercisers). Saggy butts from muscle loss ain’t sexy!

    I have yet to use my chick pea flour, even though I’ve been saying I was going to make socca for 3 months. *Sigh*, I must do this soon.

  5. When I go through exercise binges I’m like, “do I want to shower or take a run?” aaannd the run wins. Then if my sweat drys up before I get to a shower, I figure I’m good and don’t need one. Sorry Weston

  6. If you skim a lot of these “healthy living blogs” and could cobble together a photo montage you’d see a whole lot of unhealthy looking pics … sit seems like everyone is constantly getting injured, icing themselves, blisters….
    There are so many bloggers coming out of injuries, just getting them, or writing about how they are “recovering” from one so they only “did 45 minutes on the elliptical” or something like that. It seems unnatural. I don’t read them after I realized this.
    That’s also a lot of Dr and Ortho visits for a bunch of broke bloggers.
    And, aw, I can’t believe you poked fun at Lance Armstong’s ball. Poor little guy, all alone in the world. (0:

  7. That socca bread looks delicious!!

    I definitely agree with you–exercise CAN be a scary thing. There’s a fine balance! Bleeding nipples?! What is worth that!!!?

  8. Ahahahahahaha – this post cracked me up. So much so that I literally just read it out loud to my boyfriend. Thank you for being the most entertaining thing in my night so far 🙂

  9. Another hilarious post! And I seriously never knew that nipples chafed. To the point of bleeding? My stomach did a somersault!

    I have definitely dabbled in over-exercising. Ironically, when I cut back was when I got injured (or I’ll know for sure HOW injured in a couple of weeks.). So unfair.

    And that is my favorite photo of Ted Striker. Ever.

  10. So could have used a pair of those shoes back in my running days. Every other toenail was black, but I kept running. No longer running, but still need the shoes…toes aren’t black anymore, just covered in 3-month old chipped nail polish. Not pretty.

    Still dreaming of your chocolate socca bread.

  11. Ugh…I’ve been down that awful road with the overexercising. It BLOWS. & It’s really badly addictive.
    The exhibits are so true. This one made me laugh: ” I guess being skinny, brittle, hairless and unable to become pregnant makes you a real catch for the douche population.” I mean, not in a mean way, but just, WOW that is so true…I can’t believe I abused my body so much. Thank God I’m on the right track now!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s