Oh, The People You’ll Meet And What I Didn’t Eat

Its no secret that I’ve spent the last few days away from home and with my fabulous friends with round the clock movie watching at the Palm Springs Short Film Festival.

And I know what you want.

You want pictures of what I ate because you either want to drool, jack off to a picture of a yogurt mess, or are just curious about what I eat. And maybe you think I’m still all disordered and live off protein powder and air.

Sorry to disappoint, but I took zero pictures of food. But feel free to jack off to a picture of a mug.

And for the record, most protein powders make me cringe. I’m way too chubby to live off protein powder and air. I’m a total fatty cause I eat animals and “white” carbs. Duh!

Anyhow, instead I thought I’d give you a run down of the wonderful characters I’ve met:

Film Festival Sluts: I suppose they are a grade above the sluts you might see at a sorority or in stores like Bebe and frozen yogurt joints.  These sluts are all “bohemian” and “artsy” cause they go to short film festivals in towns run by the “Gays and Grays”. But they all dress alike. Scantily clad in micro mini skirts, sans bra and panties. And annoyingly skinny that you can’t help but eye them up and down and consider force feeding them a fried Snickers bar or giving them a brochure to an Eating Disorder Rehab.

Outraged Octogenarians: The one gripe to seeing tons of movies with old folks is that they will get mad at you if you disrupt their patronage with your “new age” smartphone use in the theater (yes, even if it’s on silent, remember, that light your phone gives off causes their hip to break!).

“I Know Better” Octogenarians: Film festivals are fun because the producers/directors/actors are often in the audience and have a Q and A after the film. And if you are over 80, that gives you the right to alter any film if you don’t fancy it. So those over 80 will feel perfectly fine telling the directors/writers how THEY intend their film to end. Because they’re “older and wiser”, and clearly know better.

Yea, they are cooler than you think

Cute Queers: Not cute like the way Bradly Cooper speaks french, cute as in watching Disney’s “Lady and the Tramp” with the spaghetti bit. I don’t know what’s in the air in Palm Springs, but it seems to attract the most romantic queers.

My favorite couple of all

They open doors for each other, buy each other flowers and I’m guessing would share umbrellas on the three days out of the year that it rains. Why couldn’t straight guys act like that?! Anyhow, they also come in handy if you need fashion advice. Cause when a girl asks a girl for advice like that, she will do everything in her power to make her friend look fatter/uglier/smellier/hairier than her. Trust me.

The “Special” Breed: And then you will meet people of a COMPLETELY  different breed. These people are kind, generous, STRAIGHT, smart (most of the time), and…………

hairy (in a good way). And its people like that give the desert a good reputation, and its people like that who make me feel cool. Because if they would want to hang out with me, I must be cool.

Have you met any characters like the one’s I’ve encountered? Who makes you feel “cool” ?


14 thoughts on “Oh, The People You’ll Meet And What I Didn’t Eat

  1. Here in Asheville, I’ve run into a wide variety of people – from upper middle class families, to Nascar & hunting lovin’ rednecks, to the very hippie yogis, token college students (the kid who lives in my building with hair like Carrot Top that he keeps braided comes to mind) to the kinds of tools that wear suits to dive bars downtown on Saturday nights…it’s definitely keeping me entertained!

  2. Just the fact that you, Deb abd Janetha have acknowledged me, a mere reader, has made me feel cool and special!

    I love Sam on the counter – is she whiffing out celery? And that cheeky Ellie, I’ve never seen such an eager travel cat!
    I’m so glad you had a few days at the film fest with Deb and family – jealous but glad for you!

  3. Ah, I laughed so hard throughout this post because it’s fricken hilarious and every word is TRUE as I bore witness! Yeah, it was really the largest gathering of young, straight people- cute guys and slutty ho-bags. Really it was fun to see it! I’ll definitely be going next year! And you forgot to mention the hobos going through the trash, looking for Fresh & Easy coupons.??

  4. erm…..none of the above and after reading your descriptions it makes me quite thankful i’ve yet to have any encounters with these sorts of people. i’m an east coast girl and i’ve only been to california once. i liked it but not enough that i think my personality could “live” there.

  5. I just recently went to a street fair and I have to say.. there were many skanks, crazy, smelly homeless hippies, super hot guys who I wish would make eye contact with me (as opposed to “eye to boob contact”), and weird people with parrots on their shoulders… I kind of liked it.

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