Its no secret that I’ve spent the last few days away from home and with my fabulous friends with round the clock movie watching at the Palm Springs Short Film Festival.
And I know what you want.
You want pictures of what I ate because you either want to drool, jack off to a picture of a yogurt mess, or are just curious about what I eat. And maybe you think I’m still all disordered and live off protein powder and air.
Sorry to disappoint, but I took zero pictures of food. But feel free to jack off to a picture of a mug.
And for the record, most protein powders make me cringe. I’m way too chubby to live off protein powder and air. I’m a total fatty cause I eat animals and “white” carbs. Duh!
Anyhow, instead I thought I’d give you a run down of the wonderful characters I’ve met:
Film Festival Sluts: I suppose they are a grade above the sluts you might see at a sorority or in stores like Bebe and frozen yogurt joints. These sluts are all “bohemian” and “artsy” cause they go to short film festivals in towns run by the “Gays and Grays”. But they all dress alike. Scantily clad in micro mini skirts, sans bra and panties. And annoyingly skinny that you can’t help but eye them up and down and consider force feeding them a fried Snickers bar or giving them a brochure to an Eating Disorder Rehab.
Outraged Octogenarians: The one gripe to seeing tons of movies with old folks is that they will get mad at you if you disrupt their patronage with your “new age” smartphone use in the theater (yes, even if it’s on silent, remember, that light your phone gives off causes their hip to break!).
“I Know Better” Octogenarians: Film festivals are fun because the producers/directors/actors are often in the audience and have a Q and A after the film. And if you are over 80, that gives you the right to alter any film if you don’t fancy it. So those over 80 will feel perfectly fine telling the directors/writers how THEY intend their film to end. Because they’re “older and wiser”, and clearly know better.
Cute Queers: Not cute like the way Bradly Cooper speaks french, cute as in watching Disney’s “Lady and the Tramp” with the spaghetti bit. I don’t know what’s in the air in Palm Springs, but it seems to attract the most romantic queers.
They open doors for each other, buy each other flowers and I’m guessing would share umbrellas on the three days out of the year that it rains. Why couldn’t straight guys act like that?! Anyhow, they also come in handy if you need fashion advice. Cause when a girl asks a girl for advice like that, she will do everything in her power to make her friend look fatter/uglier/smellier/hairier than her. Trust me.
The “Special” Breed: And then you will meet people of a COMPLETELY different breed. These people are kind, generous, STRAIGHT, smart (most of the time), and…………
hairy (in a good way). And its people like that give the desert a good reputation, and its people like that who make me feel cool. Because if they would want to hang out with me, I must be cool.
Have you met any characters like the one’s I’ve encountered? Who makes you feel “cool” ?