I once read in my yoga teacher training studies that the root of all fear comes from our minds own “delusions”.
And boy am I delusional!
Well, at least when it came to my “fear foods”.
“Food fears? What’s that, Eden? You, a chef, with fears of food? That’s like a urologist afraid of pee!”
But I’m sure you’d be surprised the many seemingly normal people do indeed have food fears. Many people have a long (but often short) list of “safe foods” they feel comfortable eating. They will go out of their way to seek them (even if its 2 am), they will always rely on them to keep them sane, and they will hyperventilate if they have anything that isn’t on the “safe” list.
But every time we choose “safety”, we reinforce fear. The more we restrict ourselves to that list of “safe things”, the more fearsome we will be to everything else. This isn’t just a food thing. Fear holds everyone back. Some people will avoid doing things in their life for fear of failure. And that is probably the most common fear of all.
Anyhow, I thought I’d share with you some of my “food fears” and how (and if) I got over them:
Frosted Mini Wheats: When my eating disorder first struck, I ate only grapes for about a week. It was awful and you would think I’d pee out wine or something after that. But all that left me was this desire to annihilate a whole box of mini wheats. After I did, I was afraid to eat mini wheats again. This was so sad cause it was a childhood favorite. I now have confidence that I wont binge on that again, so I am not so afraid of them anymore. But that new mini wheats commercial make me reconsider because the thought of my mini wheats carrying on a conversation with other mini wheats in a hot tub made of milk weirds me out.
Now who is delusional? Me, or Kellogs?
Real Soda (IE, not Diet): Ever since I started to give a fuck about calories, I shunned any caloric beverage. Even coffee. One day, I thought I was buying a diet root beer when after I discovered it was actually the real sugar deal after I finished it. I felt like you do when you go on those spinning, barf-inducing rides at a local carnivals. I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was just 160 calories, but it felt like I consumed those calorific earthquake kit meal bars. The sad thing, I’m still jittery about consuming real soda. To my credit, I will drink caloric drinks such as chocolate milk so I guess my fear of caloric beverages dissipated. But Classic Coke will still be a little monster hiding under my bed.
Frozen Yogurt: That’s right. Go pick up that jaw you just dropped. This is actually a food fear that I developed AFTER my eating disorder treatment. You see, pre treatment, was frozen yogurt’s bitch. I had it everyday, lots of it, and went out of my way to get it. When I was in college, the nearest frozen yogurt shop was 2 hours away and I drove every weekend for 4 hours total to get about 16 pints to last me until next week. But I really couldn’t look at it after treatment. It was like bad nostalgia. Like Gigli and acid wash jeans and Vanilla Ice. But even fear of your “screwed up self” should be conquered. When my dad was recovering from his brain tumor surgery, frozen yogurt was all he ate. So, I decided to join him. And after sharing a frozen yogurt with someone who seems to really be fearless, I’ve started to think to myself, “If my dad isn’t afraid of a brain tumor, isn’t having a fear of a food kind of delusional?”
And it is.
That’s not to say that its “bad” you have fears. Its natural, and everyone has them. Even my dad. But I suppose what I want you to take away from this post is that playing it safe will only fuel the fear. Remind yourself that the fear is your mind’s own delusion. Or maybe its just a mini wheat farting in a hot tub. Hence I suggest you eat them cold.
Did/do you fear certain foods? Or maybe anything else that you felt held you back. Did you expose yourself to that fear to prove the delusion wrong? And am I the only one thinking mini wheats farting in a hot tub is not a good marketing scheme?
And today I have a recipe that if you are afraid of:
You probably wont like….because its all those ingredients mixed up and poured on apples.