No, I’m not gay.
Trust me, I thought I was gay for 15 minutes in college because guys seemed to be allergic to me. So for 15 minuets I was sure I was gay until I saw some sorority rush party and from then on, my brain vomits at the thought of nearly anyone with a vagina.
But this is not about that closet. This is about the “eating disordered” closet.
In my opinion, eating disorders are diseases. I dont see many people ashamed of having the flu or cancer. Not that I’m comparing, but they are mental diseases that manifest physically. Yet people seem to be so ashamed of them. People will live their whole lives in this little prision built up in their mind without acknowledging that they have a problem. I call such people “the closeted eating disordered”.
Also, not everyone fits into the clinical definitiongs of “anorexics” or “bulimics”.
Maybe they still get their period, maybe they aren’t underweight, maybe they dont starve ALL the time, etc…
This was my excuse for not coming out. Every since I was 13 I had a problem. I didn’t “come out of the closet” until I was 20. And I don’t think it was until I was 22 that I felt I was getting better (note: not saying I’m recovered as I still think I need some work).
Old habits die hard and many people dont want to change. And coming out and saying you have a problem will change things. Maybe you are embarassed. I know I was. But after I “came out”, to my surprise, everybody was either:
B) Didn’t give a shit cause it was so obvious!
It was like when Rosie O’Donell came out.
“Yea Eden, so you had an eating/exercise disorder…tell me something I dont know!”
I think most people would be surprised as to how much of a weight is lifted (pun intended) once you “come out”. No more lying:
“Yea, I just had a HUGE juicy burger, fries, and a calorific shake! I’m just naturall emaciated! Unicorns, raibows, ponies!!!”
Who are you trying to fool? The only person you are fooling is yourself. And I’m guess you already know the cold, hard truth.
Am I saying you have to tell everyone all your deepest, darkest, secrets? No. And believe me, most people dont give a shit. But I think you need to be honest with yourself and maybe with your therapist and close friends/family. Maybe you don’t want help and that’s fine too. But acting as if you don’t have issues will only make your internal prison more miserable and you quality of life will tarnish.
So come out already. Unless you’re stuck in a roomy walk-in-closet with Bradley Cooper. In that case, stay put.
Have you ever “come out”. It can be anything, an eating disorder, some other disease, maybe an obsession, maybe your secret love of the Jonas Brothers. I wont judge. Well, maybe I will if you like the Jonas Brothers.
I couldn’t be more appropriate to have a recipe at the end of this post, eh? Here’s one of my favorites. It’s like a “racist” ratatouille cause it’s mostly orange/yellow (racist towards the purple and green veggies). This serves two hungry people, 4 annoying weight conscious women, zero anorexics, and one Eden.
- 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
- 1 small onion, coarsely chopped
- 1 yellow bell peppers, seeded and diced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 medium eggplant, peeled and diced
- 2 large yellow zucchini, diced
- 2 medium ripe tomatoes, coarsely chopped
- 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh basil
- 2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh thyme
- 1 tbs dried tarragon
- 1 tbs dried oregano
- 1 cup broth (divided into two 1/2 cups)
- 1 tsp sugar or sweetener (I know, sounds weird but trust me)
- salt and pepper to taste
I like to chop all my veggies into cubes and roughly the same size. Chop the onion.Cut bell peppers in thumb sized slices.Peel and dice eggplant.Dice zucchini.Peel, seed and chop tomatoes.
Heat the olive oil in a large nonstick pan over medium heat. Add onions and garlic and cook, stirring constantly until golden.
Add eggplant and cook for about 5 minuets. Add the 1/2 cup broth sliced bell peppers and cook for another 5 minuets. Add 1/2 cup broth zucchini; stirring frequently for another three minuets. Add tomatoes and herbs. Cover the pan and cook for 7 minutes, stirring occasionally; add additional water if necessary.
Uncover, reduce heat to medium-low and continue cooking until vegetables are tender but still retain their shape and liquid has evaporated, 10 minutes.