The End of Amaze-balls and Some Edible Ones

Its time to say goodbye to a much loathed word.

“Amaze-balls”.

I’m gonna get hate mail for this, but I really dont care at this point. I’m sure my reputation on the net can’t get any worse.

I have no problem with “amazing” or “balls” for that matter. I say “meatballs”, “cannonballs”, “shitballs”, “assballs” etc.

But shortening “amazing” by making it sound cutesy and attaching a “balls” on the end is downright obnoxious. If you do say it on a regular basis, I dont hate you. There are support groups for it, get help.

In an effort to get rid of the word, I asked some blogger friends to give me a short list of things they think is “amaze-balls”. But to be honest, things got confusing and getting all the responses turned out to be a giant mess. So I’m just giving “Amaze-balls” its last hurrah by listing things I thing are…..amaze-balls (cringe) So without further ado…

Eden’s Amaze-balls “Last Hurrah” List

1)  Sneezing AND farting at the same time so no one notices you farted!

trust me. As a yoga teacher, I deal with lots of tooting (not by me, well, maybe sometimes….). And this is like getting away with something illegal. Pray its doesn’t leave a toxic odor though.

2) Dogs That Have Jobs

Dogs are lazy. There, I said it. And you know it’s true. But I love it when I see them do amazing things. There are seeing eye dogs, the K9s that work for the police (and apparently help find Bin Laden), sheep dogs, rescue dogs. I mean, whens the last time YOU sniffed out a bomb or rescued someone? Exactly. 

3) That Separate Compartment in your Stomach for Dessert

We all have one. Fess up.

4) That Moment on Vacation When You Forget What Day of the Week it Is

Speaking of which….I will be on a little vacation this weekend but I have VERY special guest posts lined up while I’m away!

 

5) Completely uncontrollable laugher

The kind that takes all of the energy out of you, leaving you a limp noodle of a human being and makes your bladder surrender a little.

What do you have to add?

So this is the one an only time I think I will dare make “amazeballs”. And here’s how to get them:

1/2 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup sugar/sugar sub of choice
1 tsp. vanilla
2 tbsp. cocoa (unsweetened)
1 1/4 cup oatmeal (instant is best)
1 cup shredded coconut
Directions:
1. Beat first four ingredients together (peanut butter, sugar, vanilla, cocoa).
2. Mix in the oatmeal and coconut.
3. Roll into very small balls.
4. Refrigerate for 20 minutes (or longer).
5. Let stand 15-20 minutes at room temperature before serving (or eat right from fridge).

 

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40 thoughts on “The End of Amaze-balls and Some Edible Ones

  1. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who hates the word bastard “amaze-balls”.
    I mean, ‘amazing’ and ‘balls’ wouldn’t even have a bastard child anyway. despite the fact that a & b are neighbours in the alphabet, they just wouldn’t hook up. they’d be friends, probably, but that’s as far as it would go.

    at least your balls sound amazing 😛

  2. I pretty much hate all those cutesy slang words. But my least favorite slang is “uber”. It just sounds dumb. My doctor even used it once… I was floored.

  3. I HATE AMAZEBALLS! Unless they are of course really amazing dessert balls. That is the only situation in which anything should be called that.

  4. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! I can’t even express just how much I loathe the worse “amaze-balls” and all these other stupid terms that bloggers are using… I have to decode people’s posts when I read them, haha.

  5. You know I hate that word so, so much.
    And I have to say that even though I haven’t been on vacation in 12 years, I often forget what day it is and crave uncontrollable laughter–not balls 😉

  6. Lol I’m definitely not a fan of that word, and I don’t ever hear people outside of the blog world use it thankfully, so at least my ears are spared if my eyes can’t be.

    Some things I think are amazing:
    1) Getting in to bed with freshly washed sheets.
    2) The perfectly melted ice cream in the bottom of the cone.
    3) Finding money in a pair of pants or a jacket that you haven’t worn for a while.

  7. This is too funny! I hate it more when it is said “Ahhh-mazeballs”. I don’t know why that bugs me!

    But I think YOU are amazeballs for coming up with all this great content while going thru so much with your Dad, job, etc. Plus you get to hang out with Deb all the time and now with Janetha this weekend, I read! (so jealous!)
    What else is amazing? Your new haircut! I saw it on Twitter and it is smokin hot!! So you get the amazehair award for the day ;)!!!!

  8. Just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more…Amazeballs ranks right up there with “awesomesauce” for me. Not a fan of either word. That being said, I can relate to every single one of your Amazeballs examples except for #2. My dogs need jobs b/c right now they think their job is digging up our backyard to find their little mole friend. Sucks balls.

    • Well, I dont even have a dog so my dog with a job potential is a worse place then your. I often dogsit for this yorkie but shes so useless. She just sits there, being all unsanitary and licking her ass!

    • Yes! Awesomesauce is another one! I don’t understand how these words came to being. The combination of amazing + balls makes my head hurt.

  9. Yeah, I’m with everyone one on amaze-balls. Ugh. I also despise the word “bestie.” Maybe it reminds too much of “beastie,” or something. I don’t know, but I don’t like it. What I would like is for someone to make me the aforementioned chocolate-PB amazeballs.

  10. Lets all just put on our big girl pants and say sayonara to amazeballs. I will admit my need for a support group to be all done saying “f-stop,” as in “what the eff-stop happened to the thunderstorm we were supposed to get???” Its just stupid, but I can’t stop. I dont know anyone else who says this, probably because its annoying and dumb.

  11. I just stumbled upon your site and have to say – hell yes!

    I currently live in Madrid and am trying to learn Spanish. I don’t need to learn blog language too!

    RE: Uncontrollable Laughter – laughing so hard your face hurts and you have to suck in your cheeks so they get a little reprieve. Best.feeling.ever.

  12. honestly…I never got the whole amazeballs thing…Sure I love “amazing” and “balls” as seperate words…but together? Just don’t get it! Its like describing something as “salty: maybe its a Boston thing that I just have never heard that before? But it doesn’t make sense to me!

  13. Haha yeah balls are not “cute” or “amazing”. It’s like combining a good thing with a bad thing and saying it’s better than the good thing. Does that make sense?

    I have a seperate compartment in my stomach for bread and one for peanut butter. Sometimes they get mad and rebel but I tell them to shove it.

  14. you know how i feel about the term amazeballs. oh, i cringe just typing it. and HEABs is dead on with awesomesauce.. ugh.. cringe. i also hate blogiversary for some unknown reason. as well as “brekkie” for breakfast and “sammy” for sandwich.

  15. Haha, amaze-balls and those other cutesy words are like finger nails to a chalk board sometimes.
    What’s weird is that I don’t think I’ve actually ever heard someone use that term in real life– or at least around me. I’ve only read it online on blogs.

  16. Amaze-balls doesn’t bother me too much but awesomesauce totally does. As with OIAJ even though that isn’t a “word.” It still bugs me.

    Moist. ugh makes me cringe.

    What’s amazing to me…bacon. I am probably annoying in my crush on it. I don’t care. Bacon and me are here to stay.

  17. i need to go on vacation so i forget what day it is. instead i go to work and think its friday when its really thursday <—not a vacation haah

  18. I don’t really mind amaze-balls, but I agree with everyone else in that moist is awful. I also don’t like the word panties. <– Those two words put together might be the worst thing ever!

    I also don't like the word "blend" for blog friend.

  19. Adding to the list of words bloggers use that make me cringe…
    “bloobs” for blueberries
    “sammie” for sandwich
    “cukes” for cucumbers

    You will also never see me use the term “shoo” as in “shoooo girl.”

  20. Pingback: Words, part 1. « Coffee and the Paper

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