Its been a while since I wrote about my mother. But let’s get one thing straight, I only called her “Ima” (which is what us hebrews and she-brews do) and I sometimes called her “mummy” when we went to Australia to visit family. Simply because we wanted to blend in with the Dingos and Koalas.
Since its mother’s day soon, I find it fitting to write breifly about her.
As some of you may not know, my mother passed away when I was thirteen after battling breast cancer for 13 years. Don’t grab you tissue box just yet. I know people say that “I have the best mom in the world” just like parents think they have the best children in the world.
But I really did. I kind of pity those that didn’t have the pleasure to be my mom’s daughter.
So here are some lessons I learned:
How to Blow My Nose
Awesome lesson. My life is difficult, but could you imagine how difficult my life would be if I walked around with boogers falling out of my nose? I know, I cant imagine that either.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
I know what your thinking….
what kind of noble lesson is that?! We should all be putting pennies on the cups of homeless people and adopting children from Malawi.
My mom’s point was not to be a flat out ass hole to everyone. But helping too much can burn you out. We often find put ourselves out there with karmic optimism and our good intentions turn to grief. Take care of yourself first before you dispense your good deeds attempting to be a saint. Believe me, good things happen to those that stay put sometimes too.
Education is Important, But Not Really
My mom almost got a PhD. Which means she could have been called “Doctor”. This tends to translate in this day and age to: “I’m-very-smart-and-scholarly-and-I-charge-300bucks-an-hour-and-look-at-my-Porsche!”.
But guess what?
My mom got knocked up with yours truly. And she never turned in her thesis and she never got to be called Doc. And you know what? I think she wanted it that way. She wanted to just kind of wing it as far as a career. She never pressured me to get “A’s” or be on the honor roll. She just wanted me to be “street smart”. She wanted me to be confident in who I was and not take anyone’s bullshit. You don’t get that by going to Yale (and no offense if you went to Yale. I’m sure you could out-debate me about politics or something smart sounding like that).
How to Tie My Shoe
We practiced with ribbons. Best lesson if you ask me. Could you imagine if I had to walk around the gym with those velcro LA gears like someone stuck in 1988? She saved me a lot of punching from fashionistas.
How to Deal With Bullies
Act like you don’t give a fuck. Simple. Bullies want your fear and attention, so don’t give them what they want. This applies to cyber bullies too which I’m slowly learning to deal with.
Dont Be Afraid To Be Silly
My mom was a downright silly lady. And totally not afraid of her silliness. There are so many aspects of life that require the utmost seriousness, so why not take some time to be silly every now and then?
Don’t Become Your Problems
My mom had cancer for a very long time. But she not once let people see that. Sure, she lost he hair and had to go to the hospital often, but she never let herself be the disease. She never complained or talked about (even though she had every right to do so). We all have problems. But we can’t let them become us. I’m not a walking eating disorder and you shouldn’t be a walking sexoholic or whatever your vices are/were. Be yourself.
What has your “Ima” taught you?