Chocolate Crystalized Ginger Cookies and Emoticon Translations

I have a love/hate relationship with emoticons. Sometimes I like em, like when I use them to say things like

“There’s no way I’m paying that parking ticket, so up yours! {:-D”

However, there are always those select few that really don’t make any sense at all, so I’ve given you my own interpretations:

%-)   I have a severe physical disorder that causes one eye to be significantly higher than the other.  However, I am smiling becuase in this life and we create our own happiness, people.

:-E    Grrr. I’m a vampire. Grrrr.

<:-3  I have a curly moustache! This is exciting and also slightly worrisome.
(:3=   Am I the walrus? Who is the Eggman?

;-P   Come here, lover boy, have I got plans for you later!

:v     I wish I were pacman.

$-D  Someone has forced a spear through my eyes and for some reason I’m laughing because I have peculiar ways of dealing with pain. Or I’m just Jewish.

:- {}  I just got lip injections

Z    “Zorro” was here

O:)  I’m a virgin

I know, deep stuff, right?

Any emoticons you wish to translate? Let’s hear em.

Well its been forever and a year since I regurgitated a recipe. So here’s one to hold you over. It’s been like 100 degrees in LA so I really deserve a medal for baking in this heat.

  • 1 stick of butter (or half cup fake butter of choice)
  • 1/2 cup brown sugar (or fake sugar of choice)
  • 1/2 cup coconut flour (use 1 cup all purpose if you think coconut flour tastes like suntan lotion)
  • 1/2 cup all purpose flour (or brown rice flour if gluten is your devil)
  • 1 egg
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1/4 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 cup crystallized ginger
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (thank you Deb for giving me the Hershey’s Special Dark!)
  • 1 cup white chocolate chips (or any random thing you like throwing into your cookies. Hell, throw pot for all I care)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper. In a large mixing bowl beat butter with an electric mixer on medium speed for 30 seconds. Beat in brown sugar until well combined. Beat in egg and vanilla until combined. In a medium bowl whisk together flours, cocoa powder, baking powder, and salt; beat into sugar mixture. Stir in white chocolate.

2. Drop dough by slightly rounded teaspoons 2 inches apart onto prepared cookie sheets. Top Bake about 12 minutes or just until edges are set. Let cool 1 minute on cookie sheets. Transfer cookies to wire rack to cool. Makes about 24 small cookies


22 thoughts on “Chocolate Crystalized Ginger Cookies and Emoticon Translations

  1. Is it inappropriate that the curly mustache reminds me of….balls?

    Um the walrus? I am totally using that. I am an emoticon abuser to the core.

    I’ve been avoiding turning on the oven due to this heat. You do deserve a medal.

  2. Man, I have never seen any of these before! I’m afraid I’m a bit traditional when it comes to emoticons. I might steal some of these and use them on a friend who finds any kind of internet speak offensive. That should wind her up good and proper!

  3. bring back the walrus! love it. and baking in the heat, Gold stars for EDEN! I never thought to use gnger and chocolate, thats why you are the brilliant chef my dear.

  4. I have definitely wondered about some of these. And now, thanks to you, I’ll be able to use them effectively. Although this one: O:) will never be making it into my texts or gchats or tweets. Too bad I didn’t realize what it meant eight years ago.

  5. {:€ this is my Italian man

    }:€ this is my mad devil face or }:<

    <o conehead!!!

    I love the "Jewish" one and lip injections – too funny!

    I've never used crystalized ginger as I wouldn't even begin to know where to look for it. Hmm and mixed with pot….. {:D (my goofy ha ha face!)

  6. Hee, these are hilarious!

    Here’s my Oh No Mr Bill one:


    And my “oh man I’m such a dorkus” one (like did I really send that email to the wrong person!!):


    I have a thingy of crystallized ginger that I bought about a hundred years ago. What’s the shelf life 200 yrs?

  7. I have a small collection I use frequently. But your translated ones are far more amusing. I’m partial to O_O;, O_o, >_<, and XD. And 😛 (no wink!) describes my response in a lot of chats.

    The emoticon I HATE is the sunglasses one. Because it always interferes when someone writes a numbered list.

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