Chocolate Ritz and Dealing with Rejection

First off, wow! My last post was more popular than I thought and I didn’t even supply half the content! Well….. maybe that’s the reason. Anyhow, I think I’ll answer online dating messages as a weekly thing because I have quite a collection!

But lets move on.

I suppose all these online dating messages got me thinking about rejection. It goes beyond match.com. Brace yourselves, but I used to be an actress.

Shocking right? And it wasn’t even porn! (I hope that disappoints a few of you)

But ever since I was about 16, I dabbled in acting. And with acting comes a shitload of rejection and waiting tables. I wanted none of that. Hence I went to culinary school. Because if I was going to be an actress, I wanted to be cooking the food, not serving it.

But back to rejection. I thought I’d share with you my tips for handling rejection. Because if you let it, it will make you feel like a piece of shit.

I don’t know about you, but I prefer feeling like “the shit”. Read on.

Compare Yourself To Other More-Talented People That Were Also Rejected.

As I got rejected, I received a lot of this:

I’m not a good fit to be your agent.

Which really means:

You’re not talented enough for me to represent you.

So then I quickly remembered Dave Coulier from TV’s Full House  (this show was very cool in the 90s).

Do you think Dave Coulier from TV’s Full House just magically became one of the most important comics of our generation?

Uh-uh!

He probably did his “Cut It Out” thing with his hands for the first time, and people were like “dude, that’s completely lame.  In fact, it would be an insult to the universe of comedy if you ever became successful.”

But did Dave Coulier from TV’s Full House listen?

No. He did not!

Dave Coulier from Full House stuck with the cut-it-out thing.  He spit in the face of all those that doubted him and even got Alanis Morrsette in his pants some how. And bonus points because she even wrote a chart topping song about him!

Passive-Aggressively Smile And Pretend Like You’re Happy Even Though Your Dying Inside.

I know it comes off creepy, but still.

Deny, Deny, Deny

The easiest way to accept rejection is to pretend like it never happened.  I learned this in high school when I tried to get a date for the prom.

Hey Eden, I heard you asked like half of the senior male population to prom.

Did I?  I feel like it was less than that.

No man, everyone’s talking about how you got rejected by every guy in our high school! 

How about Winston?  That furry, cock-eyed dude with the limp.  I haven’t asked him yet.

He’s a hamster from the science lab.

Well, then at least he’ll fit in my clutch 

Throw a Fit

 Allow yourself a lovely little tantrum.  In private if you want to keep the few friends you have left.  Beat up some pillows or sofa cushions. Or that that neighbor from upstairs that steals your mail and disrupts your sleep with his girlfriends late night moans.  Let ‘em have it. 

Believe In Yourself.

I know, this sounds cheesy. But you need to be a little confident. Even if you need to fake it. Think about what you are good at.

I can write….kinda.

But I have this fantasy that I’m actually a brilliant writer and that I write well enough for people to find me less off putting than I appear. I write because I enjoy making people giggle.

Actually, guys dont giggle. They may smirk, but not giggle.

But I believe one day, I’ll achieve something here. Because seriously, I’m the shit. And maybe you should start believing your the shit too.

I know, I've used this picture before. But I look too good in it. And remember, I'm the shit.

And today’s recipe is super simple. I made it with the desserts class I teach. Actually, its hardly a recipe. All you need is:

  • chocolate chips
  • ritz crackers (or any generic, cheaper salty cracker of choice)
Melt the chocolate. Give the crackers a ride on the chocolate wave. Let it sit a bit or freeze for about an our. Sweet, salty, simple.

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32 thoughts on “Chocolate Ritz and Dealing with Rejection

  1. Chocolate melted on saltines with pb stuffed in between was one of my first recipes as a vegan.. lol. They’re like little debbies nutter bar crack, or whatever those things are called.
    When I get rejected, I like to throw a tantrum and cry into my mascara stained teddy bear that got the brunt of my teenage years. Poor bear can barely take it any more. One day, it’s sitting next to me, lovingly, in my baby crib. The next, it’s getting hurled across the room while I yell curse words at teenage boyz. Just can’t get enough.

  2. You are such a gorgeous girl! Seriously, the photos of you are always so stunning!! I basically love the simplicity of these crackers…and we happen to have some ritz that’ve been sitting in the pantry for months…I know what to do with them now! I’m going to try adding a layer of sunflower seed butter and top each with just a tiny pinch of fresh sea salt. Mmmm! 🙂

  3. What happened to our sweet Eden? You’ve become so conceited and snarky that it’s hard to get behind you anymore! It seems like all you do is talk about how wonderful you are while also talking about how wonderful you’re not. Is this to fish for compliments or something?

    I miss the old Eden!

  4. I’m loving the hamster in a clutch image! Too funny!

    I’ve dipped the Ritz crackers before and even used sprinkles! I’ve also dipped the mini peanut butter ones in white and milk/dark chocolate. They were a hit!

    How is Dad this week?? Give him a hug from me 🙂 !!!!

    (and I still think you look like Kiera Knightly -so gorgeous!!!)

    • I never get the Keira thing, but I’ll take it! Dad’s “meh”. Tired but mentally still there so I’m thankful for that. Its calm now on that front but I fear its the calm before the storm. So I’m trying to regurgitate my happier posts now before the “storm” hits and all my posts will be “woe is me”.

  5. oh I love the picture. I think rejection makes us face ourselves. Can’t please everyone, gotta love whatcha got.
    I’m the queen of the passive aggressive smile! haha.
    😉

  6. You can actually buy chocolate covered Ritz. But I think it was a limited addition thing. It’s so simple but the salty and sweet are so good together!

    Were you ever in any shows or movies?

  7. Hey, I can actually make these ritz thingies! I love how kids call them “circle crackers” as though no other circle crackers exist, it is ONLY ritz!

    My best coping mechanism for rejection? well, I basically live a life filled with delusions of grandeur where I get to live off of my writing (that I’ve never submitted to anyone) get to travel without it costing anything, and more…

  8. Ya know I love this even more the second time I read it. Rejection is so hard to deal with. And I love that you end the list of what to do to deal with rejection with “Believe in yourself”…absolutely. That is so important. And it’s what helps people to pick themselves up and carry on. Everyone needs to have a healthy dose of self confidence- not necessarily conceit, but just as you said “believing in yourself”.

  9. Chocolate and salt= delicious!!!

    Dave Coulier! I AM DYING! Whenever I hear Alanis on the radio, I think of him! You you you outta knowwww!

  10. I am horrid when it comes to rejection–I blush, then grin & giggle like an idiot, all the while tears build up in my eyes & then I have to run away so no one will see me cry. I should just deny & act like it never happens (it seems to work well for my sister-in-law).

    Also, I must’ve been living under a rock for the last 20 years, because I never knew about Dave Coulier & Alanis Morrissette. Or if I did, my brain couldn’t handle the thought & blocked it out.

  11. hahahaha you are the shit! and i think acting would suck. too much pressure to be entertaining. you are entertaining as it is, so i will just be your agent and we can bag you a few deals, sound good?

  12. I always thought I would be a good actress… but I am a horrible waitress.

    Dave Coulier! that is hilarious – I had no idea of the alanis connection – I need to go look this up now.

    a couple months ago I made mini brownie muffins with mini peanut butter ritz inside – Good Golly they were fantastic! that chocolate and salt thing gets me every time.

    • But your a working actor and youve developed a thick skin. Plus, Im sure even if you came out with a sex tape, people would WANT to see it. Me? not so much.

  13. You know Dave Coulier’s best material was the woodchuck ventriloquist bit.
    I just say that because I can do that whole, “Is this table made of….WOOOD?” voice perfectly.

  14. Ok, now that is a recipe I can get on board with!

    I like your tip about pretending it never happened. That’s very British. Just keep calm and carry on. Everyone else will be too embarrassed to say anything, and it’ll all be brushed under the carpet before you know it!

  15. My mom used to make chocolate covered peanut butter ritz crackers. Haven’t had them in eons now. But we thought it was the greatest treat in the world when we were kids. And a good, old fashioned temper tantrum is sometimes completely warranted.

  16. You’re better than the shit.
    You’re …um…the HOT Shit.
    Wait…I don’d like the mental imagery there.
    Um…You’re the Shit Hotness…no..the Shit Happening (oh that’s way off)
    um…the shit highness? The shittiest! Wait…Sigh.
    You’re whatever’s better than the shit.

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