First off, wow! My last post was more popular than I thought and I didn’t even supply half the content! Well….. maybe that’s the reason. Anyhow, I think I’ll answer online dating messages as a weekly thing because I have quite a collection!
But lets move on.
I suppose all these online dating messages got me thinking about rejection. It goes beyond match.com. Brace yourselves, but I used to be an actress.
Shocking right? And it wasn’t even porn! (I hope that disappoints a few of you)
But ever since I was about 16, I dabbled in acting. And with acting comes a shitload of rejection and waiting tables. I wanted none of that. Hence I went to culinary school. Because if I was going to be an actress, I wanted to be cooking the food, not serving it.
I don’t know about you, but I prefer feeling like “the shit”. Read on.
Compare Yourself To Other More-Talented People That Were Also Rejected.
As I got rejected, I received a lot of this:
I’m not a good fit to be your agent.
Which really means:
You’re not talented enough for me to represent you.
So then I quickly remembered Dave Coulier from TV’s Full House (this show was very cool in the 90s).
Do you think Dave Coulier from TV’s Full House just magically became one of the most important comics of our generation?
He probably did his “Cut It Out” thing with his hands for the first time, and people were like “dude, that’s completely lame. In fact, it would be an insult to the universe of comedy if you ever became successful.”
But did Dave Coulier from TV’s Full House listen?
No. He did not!
Dave Coulier from Full House stuck with the cut-it-out thing. He spit in the face of all those that doubted him and even got Alanis Morrsette in his pants some how. And bonus points because she even wrote a chart topping song about him!
Passive-Aggressively Smile And Pretend Like You’re Happy Even Though Your Dying Inside.
I know it comes off creepy, but still.
Deny, Deny, Deny
The easiest way to accept rejection is to pretend like it never happened. I learned this in high school when I tried to get a date for the prom.
Hey Eden, I heard you asked like half of the senior male population to prom.
Did I? I feel like it was less than that.
No man, everyone’s talking about how you got rejected by every guy in our high school!
How about Winston? That furry, cock-eyed dude with the limp. I haven’t asked him yet.
He’s a hamster from the science lab.
Well, then at least he’ll fit in my clutch
Throw a Fit
Allow yourself a lovely little tantrum. In private if you want to keep the few friends you have left. Beat up some pillows or sofa cushions. Or that that neighbor from upstairs that steals your mail and disrupts your sleep with his girlfriends late night moans. Let ‘em have it.
Believe In Yourself.
I know, this sounds cheesy. But you need to be a little confident. Even if you need to fake it. Think about what you are good at.
I can write….kinda.
But I have this fantasy that I’m actually a brilliant writer and that I write well enough for people to find me less off putting than I appear. I write because I enjoy making people giggle.
Actually, guys dont giggle. They may smirk, but not giggle.
But I believe one day, I’ll achieve something here. Because seriously, I’m the shit. And maybe you should start believing your the shit too.
And today’s recipe is super simple. I made it with the desserts class I teach. Actually, its hardly a recipe. All you need is:
- chocolate chips
- ritz crackers (or any generic, cheaper salty cracker of choice)