It’s officially Brit Mania week with the “Royal Wedding” this past friday. And CNN replaced “The Situation in Libya” (or as Sarah Palin says, “Labia”), with “What William and Kate ate as their first meal as husband and wife!”.
And if your my twitter follower, you know I think William ate Kate that night.
I know. I’m nasty.
But this post has nothing to do with the wedding. Thank goodness, right? But this wedding reminded me how much I love Britain. I’ve been to London so many times that the Heathrow airport security guards know me by name (you can read more about my inner Brit here). But I noticed on one of my London trips that these people have interesting slang terms.
So I though I’d give you the lowdown on some of my favorite British slang. Of course, it would be politically incorrect for me to explain British slang is when I was born and raised in Los Angeles. So to help me out with my accuracy on these terms, I enlisted Mr. Smoothie Girl to help me out. So thank him if you get anything out of this post. Lets get started:
And Bob’s Your Uncle: Commonly used to close a sentence and explain the outcome after an array of actions. Like “and there you have it”.
As in: “You want to learn to be REALLY white? Eat lots of organic food, do lots of
yoga, grow bangs, play rugby and Bob’s your uncle.”
Spend a penny: Commonly used to say to use the toilet. The British are civilized. They would never dare say, “OMG, I need to pee and crap out that black-bean-quinoa-brownie I just scarfed!”. No, they “spend a penny”.
As in: “I just downed an entire Guinness factory! I’m off to spend a penny.
Up the Duff: Brit speak for “knocked up” or “pregnant”.
As in: “Congratulations, Your Majesty, you’re up the duff”.
Of course the Queen is well into the menopause now. And on that note….
On the blob : With menopause behind her is likely not to be “on the blob” (aka, her period).
As in: “I thought I was no longer on the blob until my ovaries were all ‘LOL, just kidding!!!”
Bollocks! Generally, a curse word alluding to testicles or contempt in general.
As in: “Eden was just crowned most beautiful, talented, smart, and creative person in the world? What a load of Bollocks!”
Which leads to….
“The dog’s bollocks!” : Actually meaning something really awesome like “the bee’s knees!”.
As in: “The Chetah testicles I ate in Japan were the dog’s bollocks!”
fanny: This can mean your butt (aka, fleshy part of you rear end you sit on) or….cover your kid’s ears….vagina. Heres a funny true story. I met someone in Australia who told me they spent a semester studying in the states and the word fanny completely screwed with him. He got asked out on a date to go hiking by an American girl.
American Girl: I can’t wait to go hiking! Shall I bring my fanny pack?
Aussie Guy: Ugh, I should hope so!
Do you have one?
Oh, you should get one! Wanna borrow mine?
Moral of the story, fanny packs should be outlawed.
Arse-over-tit: Commonly used to refer to someone who falls over.
As in: “I fell arse-over-tit at my high school graduation. Needless to say, the whole left side of the auditorium got good view of my fannie.”
It IS NOT like the American expression of “Head Over Heels”. You CANNOT fall “arse over tits” in love with someone. Unless you quite literally fell on top on them. And……You cannot deliberately go arse-over-tits, as in “The figure skater did a double axel somersault followed by a triple arse-over-tits”. This also applies to fat lad with man-boobs falling on his arse.
So there you have it. You can now speak to William and Kate yourself without sounding like. You can try my British inspired recipes like my shepherds pie. And this company sells my favorite british style “bangers” for your ultimate bangers and mash meal. And if its sweets your after, I love a proper eaton mess. Any slang terms that are your favorite?