Honey Bacon Sweet Corn Souffle and “Corny” Ways of Breaking Up

We have all been there.

We have all had to do it.

Occasionally, a relationship just falls apart in a bad way. When that happens, you just wish you could walk away and leave it at that. It seems that tried and true methods such as a quiet one on one talk or even a long telephone conversation never happens anymore. These days, many of these “easy way out” break ups are made possible through our modern technologies. Try your hardest to never sink low enough to use these methods…or risk being the epitome of the word “asshole.”

1. Text Message

I have this intense bond my iPhone. I know, I used poke fun at people that married their iPhones, but now we’re engaged.

Anyhow, I would never want my dear iPhone to bring me bad news.

So let’s say I’m like totally doing James Franco. Then one day I’m at home, eating papaya in my apartment while watching Hannah Montana and I get a text message from James:

 sorry 2 do this but jst not wrking out.  Can we still b frnds?  TTYL. :(

Because the frowny-face emoticon softens the blow.

A frowny-face emoticon.  Really? Go smoke a joint, James.

2. Facebook

Part of me wonders if Mark Zuckerberg’s real intention was to create a terrible way to break up with someone while ensuring some dude out there gets laid.

Sarah Has Changed Her Relationship Status To Single.

756 Likes.

98 Comments.

Sarah will now get hundreds of private messages from guys saying Hey stranger!  Long time no talk.  Sorry to hear about the break-up.  That guy was such a douche  Let me know when you’re free for drinks!

Translation: I’ve been waiting until you were at the most emotionally vulnerable because it ups my already-limited chance to do you.

I think its time for a “creepy” button.

 3. Via Twitter

You know your breaking up with someone the wrong way when its the way Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Bronson broke up. Of course, bonus points for being drunk while doing so.

@LindsayLohan Grl…..4 sriosly this time! Its  ovr!!!

@ SamanthaRonson Shut up bitch! I have a gun, get in the van!

4.  Sending Them A Mixtape.

True Story from middle school Eden: A guy I was “dating” (cause really, who dates in middle school besides Miley Cryrus?) wanted to let me know it was over.

So she compiled a mixtape on cassette. I’m well aware I’m losing younger readers who don’t know what cassette tapes are. Imagine your iPod with auto-reverse.

Anyhow, Sir Mix A Lot was on it, but not even “Baby got Back”. It the stuff from side B that you know even Sir Mix A Lot was like “what a creative abortion this shit is!”

So I listened to it and at the end he came on and said Hey just wanted to let you know I’m dating that new foreign exchange student, Nadia. Don’t call me.  Have a nice life.

I still get chills when I hear Sir Mix A Lot.

5. E Not-So-Harmony

This actually happened to someone I knew.  Her boyfriend put a profile up on the dating site. Of course one of her yenta friends goes on hunting some prey for her own when all of a sudden…

Sees the dude.

And he cropped his girlfriend out of the picture. All you saw was half her eyeball.

I’m fairly certain if you see half your eyeball, that’s the universal sign that you’re dumped.

Any other ways I skipped? Spare the “post it”, its a Sex and the City thing and is never actually done.

For today recipe, I was beyond proud of myself because I did many souffles in culinary school. But on my final, it totally deflated and I got a C! Here’s my revenge

  • 1½ cup yellow sweet corn (I used about 3 fresh ears, but use however many will yield you about 1 1/2 cup since ear sizes vary)
  • ¼ cup butter (1/2 stick)
  • ¼ cup (4oz) flour
  • 1 ½ cups milk (I used whole)
  • four strips of rendered bacon, chopped up
  • 1 tsp salt
  • ¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 tbs honey
  • ½ cup grated parmesan cheese
  • 5 eggs separated
  • ½ tsp Cream of Tartar

Prepare little soufflé dishes by buttering thoroughly and dusting with grated parmesan cheese.

 Roast your ears of corn in  in a pre-heated 375˚F oven for 20 minutes. (Some kernels on the outer edges of pan will burn slightly and should be discarded.)

After removing the corn from the oven, and slice down to get out the kernels off. I used about 1 and a half cup of kernels.

In a small saucepan over low heat, bring the milk to a boil. (Over low heat this takes a while, so do this first. Turn the heat off the milk as soon as it reaches the boil.)

In a larger saucepan melt the butter over medium low heat. When the butter has melted, add all the flour and briskly whisk it into the butter until smooth, making sure the flour is completely absorbed. Continue whisking lightly until the flour has cooked, another one to two minutes.

When the milk is ready, add it all at once to the butter and flour, and whisk until combined and smooth. Continue to whisk for another two to four minutes, until the mixture has thickened. Turn off the heat, and set the pan aside to cool slightly.

After the mixture in the saucepan has cooled for a few minutes, whisk in the egg yolks only (reserving the egg whites), one at a time. Then add the salt, pepper, and cayenne pepper and whisk to combine. Finally, add the parmesan cheese and whisk to combine.

Add the cooled roasted corn, honey and bacon pieces to the base and whisk to combine.

Whisk the egg whites and cream of tartar until the egg whites stand in soft peaks (at high speed this happens fairly quickly, approximately 2 ½ to 3 minutes.)

Add approximately 1 tablespoon of the soufflé base to the egg whites, and fold in gently, using the whisk or a rubber spatula. Then add the egg whites to the soufflé base and combine by folding in with a rubber spatula or very gently with the whisk.

Transfer to the prepared soufflé dishes, and bake on a lined cookie sheet or half sheet pan on the lowest pan in the oven. Bake for approximately 20-25 minutes or until the soufflé is puffed, golden brown, and doesn’t jiggle like jello when moved. (A little jiggle is okay.)

Serve immediately to show off the soufflé at its puffiest, but for better flavor the soufflé can sit for a few minutes even though it will deflate a bit.

I know, they deflated a bit, but thats cause they hung around a lot before I managed to get a photoshoot together


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21 thoughts on “Honey Bacon Sweet Corn Souffle and “Corny” Ways of Breaking Up

  1. Mix tapes are supposed to be about cheesy high school relationships full of love and sugar. What a douche for ruining that gushy feeling for you. Now I can never send you a mix tape. >(

  2. Text message break ups are the WORST. What can you even respond to that? I much prefer the in-person break up where I can get a good slap across the face in. Really, what’s the point of even enduring a break up if you can’t slap someone?

  3. It seems souffles are haunting me lately, they keep coming up in things I read. Perhaps I must try to make??

    Anyways, I broke up with a guy over MSN messenger once. In my defense, we didn’t live in the same city and we NEVER spoke on the phone. We mainly chatted over messenger when he was away. I suppose I could have waited to see him in person. But I’m not good at “faking” something when I’ve already made up my mind! I had to get is done asap!

  4. This dates me, but when I broke up with my college boyfriend, I did it through snail mail (we were living in different cities at the time). I thought doing it over the phone would be even colder than a letter, and we weren’t seeing each other on a regular basis, so I didn’t want to wait to do it in person.

  5. Definitely got the text message break up. And the way he worded it was “I’m tired of you already”.

    Yeah, I rock. That was after 2 weeks. And I’m pretty sure he was already “cheating” on me. Which I guess it’s kind of dumb to say he was cheating on me when we only dated for 2 weeks. He probably already had the girl before we started going out.

  6. Yikes. Thank goodness none of those have ever happened to me, but I do have a friend whose phone broke when her boyfriend called to break up with her. A few days later, she was out when she ran into him…and his new girlfriend. Yipes!

    I’m so excited for corn season.

  7. haha this reminds me of the sex and the city episode where berger breaks up with carrie on a post it. one of the best ways in my opinon. save the planet! haha

  8. What about the “no response” response….its never happened to me but man that would hurt.
    Just all of the sudden…nothing. Nada, zilch, boo…silence. No response. No answer.
    Ouch.
    Makes you think either the dumper is a real prickly dickly head OR that the dumpee is psychotic.

  9. Hi Eden,
    Sorry to be a downer…but I thought you would might be able to offer some sane and level , blunt advice. I have to go inpatient cause I’m 75% less than my ideal body weight. I’m 30 years old. I also have a horrible digestive system and know they won’t care about that or try to accomodate that…its going to be inpatient just to get medically stable, so its whatever food the hospital has is whatever i’ll get…
    how do i deal with that? Like having to gain is bad enough…but now I have to gain on hormone-raised meats, stale bakers bread, dry oatmeal, fake butter and peanut butter, cheap crackers and white processed mashed potatoes, and desserts made by some old lady in the cafeteria, etc…like i have to gain on that…u know….and just sit there…it just kind of worries me…
    I guess I have to go in tomorrow…would love your advice before i do.
    i won’t have internet access or anything like that…i guess they can keep me until i’m up to at least 75% of my body weight…so that means about 20-25 lbs…that means like MONTHS and months…
    ugh…so many people say they gain healthfully, naturally, and heal and grow to love food….will i ever overcome this? can i do this and just deal…or is my body and metabolism gonna be forever screwed by this…wish we were friends and i could “chat” with u during my stay there…for some reason, you’re the only person (among blogs) that i can think of who is legit and real…
    i’m a bit different cause my body has big time digestion issues at this point…i’m basically impacted, etc..(which can happen even if real underweight)…plus, i’ll have to share a room and bathroom with a TON of people for a long while…oye…this is so tough…i’m all alone in this with no family or friends…so i’m doing it on my own,
    its
    scary.

  10. I’ve had MissyMiller’s no-response breakup happen to me. No bueno. I suppose that it was karmic payback for me breaking up with a boyfriend on prom night. I just couldn’t be with him one more day, but looking back it was pretty hideous of me. To his credit, he returned every piece of “us” memorabilia (all of our photos, all gifts I gave him, etc) to my house the next day and never spoke to me again. I deserved it. I was a beotch before the word was invented.

    I can’t believe that people really break up by twitter or text!!! I really can’t imagine that! I do remember mixed tapes. Derek still holds on to some and I keep asking on what he’s going to play them???? I also won an 8-track tape machine for selling the most magazines in a school sale. Embarrassing.

    I LOLd again throughout this post-as per usual. THanks for the ab workout.

    Oh and your souffle didn’t fall as much as my muffins today right!??

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