We’ve had a few posts on how you can climb your way to the top of the blog food chain. But I thought why not break it down, step by step, on how to become that social media celebrity.
1. Tell all your friends and family you’re going to be a celebrity (spare the details).
2. Start a blog, and in the About Me section, post a picture of yourself in front of a mirror where you can still see the camera.
3. Start a twitter account, and for the profile picture, use a picture of yourself in front of a mirror where you can still see the camera.
4. Tweet things like “Zumba fail”, capturing your true feelings on shit nobody cares about.
5. You get three followers.
6. Comment on thousands of blogs, follow thousands of “tweeople” , and get thousands more friends on facebook.
7. Announce to your friends that you’re now an “Internet Celebrity”.
8. Change your picture to a professional shot where you angle your head so nobody can see that you’re no looker.
9. Write “Food Blog and Social Media Rockstar” in your Twitter bio.
10. A piece of humanity dies.
11. You call all food related social media conferences and demand that they book you to speak.
12. They offer you no money and insist you buy your own badge (cough, foodbuzz). You agree. Then add “keynote speaker” to your bio.
13. You attend SXSW. But not for the music part. You attend it for the nerd part.
14. You’re not even aware that there was a music part.
15. You write a book on oatmeal.
16. You tell people you’re published, but omit “self” before “published”.
17. You start making videos of yourself (hoping some food network exec sees it and offers you a spot on a new cooking show).
18. Yet another piece of humanity dies.
19. Tell people you’re a producer, but leave off “on YouTube”.
20. Tell your friends that you need an agent and publicist because your career is booming.
21. Your friends tell you to stop talking to them because in reality, they’re just people on the bus that don’t actually know you.
22. Your boss from your real-life job that pays your real-life bills calls and asks you where the fuck you’ve been for the last week.
23. You quit, telling your boss that you’re a blog celebrity and no longer need that dead-end job.
24. You quickly become poor.
25. You realize that you can’t pay your bills with blog hits, retweets and Facebook likes.
So let’s be real: if you need to preface it with “Bloggin”, you are no superstar.
Did I miss a step? Feel free to add on.
Today I don’t have really have a prepared recipe. Why? Because this post will be an entry to win a trip to Italy. Normally when I hear of such contests from Foodbuzz, I kind of mentally shoot myself in the food and tell myself, “Eden, you have no chance, dream on. Some other, bigger, blog superstar has this contest in the bag”.
But this time, I really wanted to try.
Because if I win, I’ll hopefully be lugging my dad with me.
As most of you know, my dad had a terminal brain cancer. He and I used to travel a lot and I know he really wants to do a little bit of traveling while he’s still with us. With his surgery, not working, chemo, radiation, and the economy being in the toilet, its not like we have the money to spend on travel. So I hope this recipe idea for Barilla’s Tortellini will entice the judges.
For inspiration for this idea, I thought of my dad’s Belgian roots. He used to constantly lecture me about how the Belgians fry their fries. It’s special process which I will save for a future post. But this “fry lecture” inspired this fried tortellini recipe. Fun Fact: frying in hot oil automatically burns all the calories!
So heres what I’m thinking for the tortellini:
- cornmeal (polenta
- Italian bread crumbs
- Parmesan cheese
- some basil leaves
- Salt and pepper
- a bag of barilla 3 cheese tortellini
- artichoke hearts
- fresh basil
- egg yolks
- olive oil
- lemon juice
- salt and pepper