Peep Treats and Eden’s Guide To Celebrity Encounters

If you’re one of the whopping seventy or so people that follow me on twitter, you might already know that Bradley Cooper casually got on the treadmill in front of me at the gym a few days ago.

And perhaps that fact alone should be reason enough not to follow me on twitter.

Celebrity sightings are common in LA and I’m not usually gasping for air at the sight of one. But trust me, if it was Snuffaluffagus or Mr. Rogers, I might require resuscitation. I know, my standards are high.

However, the majority of the world doessn’t live in the the celebrity cesspool that L.A. is. So for them, I’m writing a brief guide to celebrity encounters.

Make Eye Contact.

Eye contact gives you confidence and the strength to hold your nerves. It will acknowledge your presence and let them know, “Hey! I’m here! I’m queer, get used to it”

ok, maybe not the queer part if you don’t swing that way. But for the record, I’m willing to get queer for Betty White.

If she/he Acknowledges You with a Nonverbal Gesture, It’s your Cue to say, “Hello.”

Or “How’s it going?” or something along those lines. Just don’t say “whats happening hot stuff” especially if the celebrity is Asian. If she/he ignores you, abort mission. She/he probably has better things to do than to make contact with a civilian.

Don’t Tell Them You Like Their Work

People don’t like talking about their work unless it’s something to be proud of, and I have a suspicion the people you encounter have a few things under their belt they’re NOT proud of. So be generic in your conversation. Stick to the weather and your latest pap smear results.

Don’t Start Harassing Them on Twitter (Even if by Some Miracle, They Follow You)

People assume that if they just tweet something clever or flattering to celebrities, the celebrity will discover their blossoming personality and add them instantly.

@LindsayLohan Girl, I don’t care what anybody says, you OWNED that jewelry!


What is she supposed to do with that?

Make Sure You Are Interesting

People want to buy into something. Celebrities are no exception and its crucial you find something about you to make you different from the pack of fans and twitter followers they have. Time to take an inventory of your skills and amplify them.

Suppose you’re Barney, a plumber. Noble profession.  But what if you made a video where you took an iPad and flushed it down a toilet?  Now you’re not just a dude with the name of a Purple Dinosaur, you’re the guy with the iPad toilet video!

Now you have something interesting and different than every other “civilian”. You’re kind of a celebrity yourself at this point because everyone will want to see what you’ll flush down the toilet next! Exciting!

I think the last one had Bradley all over me.

Me, and my toilet.

Ok, any celebrity encounter tips you’d like to share? Or have you flushed anything cool down the toilet? Goldfish doesn’t count.

Fun Fact: the day after Easter is an unofficial Jewish holiday cause Easter candy is half price!

A great time to utilize those extra peeps laying around! So I made “Peep Treats” with the dessert class I teach to six your olds (yes the ones from this post that don’t listen to me and vandalize monkey bars).

For the “Peep Treats”, you  will need:

  • 3 tbs butter or butter sub of choice (I like benecol if your going the “fake butter” route)
  • About 32 Peeps (bunnies or chicks, whatever feel less evil to melt)
  • 6 cups of Crispy rice cereal
  • sprinkle of salt
Melt the butter until until slightly brown to give it that nice nutty, caramel-y taste!
Next in the pool…yup, it’s time to add the Peeps.

I know, this look cruel. Dont worry, peeps have no soul.

Add a sprinkle of salt pour them into a into a pan or plate to shape into eggs or little nests for the left over peeps.  FYI-Make sure to spray your spatula with a little non-stick spray.  It’s the only way to not have strings of marshmallow and krispies going all over yourself.

Yep, shape just about anything into an egg, coat it in sugar, and you'll have everyone under seven eat it

No, the peep didn't shit a rice krispie treat. It's his nest! Peeps don't shit, remember, they dont have a soul!


28 thoughts on “Peep Treats and Eden’s Guide To Celebrity Encounters

  1. When you meet a celebrity, do try to keep your voice level at a regular frequency and try to compose a sentence with at least 2 words. No, “OMG OMG this is so cool!” does not qualify as a sentence. I was totally able to fake the coolness part, just because I didn’t recognize the people. Seriously, would you consider this guy a celebrity? And why was I supposed to let him take my turn at the bar? Apparently, I have still not gotten over that part 😉

  2. when I was five I tried to flush a whole hot dog down the toilet. we had them for dinner, and refusing to eat it, I snuck it down the hall and flushed, then joined the rest of my family outside (we had people over and everyone was having fun out there but me, sitting at the table with that dumb hot dog!). later that night my mom was tucking me into bed, and my brother yelled from the bathroom “why is there a hot dog in the toilet?” moral o’ the story –> always make sure the flush “takes”.

    I attended a Thanksgiving dinner where Willem Dafoe was a guest. He didn’t say a whole lot, and I was too young to be bold and talk to him.

  3. I wouldn’t recognize a celebrity if she or he came and slapped me. Who cares, they are just humans who shit.

    Unlike Peeps that don’t shit. By the way, dogs don’t have souls and they still shit!

    P.S. Miss you like crazy too. I will be done with my effing no-life in 3 weeks. But I’ll also be done with classes in just ONE week! I could probably meet up during finals weeks. But it’s not usually up to me…it’s always you that just blow me off!!! >:-(

  4. I had a complete celebrity encounter fail recently. I sat at a table and chatted to Michael Gambon for over an hour, before eventually asking him what he did for a living. Of course as soon as he said he was an actor I realised who he was, but up until then I thought he was a cab driver! (The other guys sitting around there were).

    It was very embarrassing when I got up to leave and saw the huge poster of his face on the theatre wall behind him.

  5. Oh my gosh – one of my favorite movies is Sixteen Candles (yes I can quote just about the entire movie, sad I know) and I love the “what’s happening hot stuff part”!!

    I have met Sela Ward and just told her how much I loved her Mom (from the same town as her). Someone had told me I looked just like her Mom when she was younger so when I met her mom (while in hospital) I always would visit her and loved talking to her. I was sad when she died and I that’s basically what I told Sela when I ran into her in town about a year later. She’s very nice.

    Loving the Peep krispies – even with no soul, it’d still be kinda sad to melt them

  6. Alright, so. Plan. Next time I see a celebrity, I should wait till they acknowledge me. Then go up to them and be like, good news! I DON’T have cervical cancer this year!


    Love you.

  7. Love the “what’s happening hot stuff?” comment…wow, teenage flashback moment!

    So I just found out who Bradley Cooper is on a tv interview and wow…wouldn’t mind running into him but something about guys in gyms is a huge turn-off for me. I guess I go for the outdoorsy rugged guy…. Bradley Cooper running down the street or on a hiking trail. Oh boy 🙂

    Love Peeps! Plain and simple…people “Peep” each other in my ‘hood by putting hundreds of peeps on sticks in your yard. Equivalent of toilet-papering but at Easter,

    • He wasn’t too “rugged”. He was on his blackberry half the time…if he were rugged, he wouldn’t be in a gym to begin with. He’d be in the mountains.

  8. peeps!! yes. celebs? bleh maybe it’s because i’m an east coaster and hardly ever see them but i just don’t think they are all that special! most of them are just lucky morons.

  9. I used to see celebrities fairly regularly in Toronto. My method of interacting with them was not interacting with them at all. If I don’t say anything, then I can’t say anything embarrassing 😛

  10. I broke every one of these rules the time Brandon Boyd (Incubus) biked past me and I turned on my heels and chased him down. He was very pleasant about my strangeness.

    At the UCLA gym I used to frequent, I would often watch Jason Bateman play raquetball for hours, Adam Sandler play basketball, and Timothy Olyphant lift weights. good times.

  11. So you have to have a soul in order to shit? Oh man, I never knew!

    OK so I do everything wrong in the celebrity department: As soon as I see them I make every effort to ignore them. I’ll even go to the point of talking to the ‘nobody’ next to them just to show them how much I don’t see who they are. Then if I do happen to see Mickey Thomas at Clarks nutrition in Rancho Mirage, CA near Palm Springs and blurt out “OH MY GOD! AREN”T YOU SOMEONE FAMOUS!?!?! And then stumble all over his name, getting it wrong….THEN and only then (after he would theoretically be very sweet and gracious anyway) would I say “I love your work!”. Not that this happened to me in February or anything.

    Seriously dude, Bradley Cooper? I would have ignored him so much I would have been forced to walk on the treadmill facing backwards.

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