Signs You Are a Social Media Darling

It’s no secret that we all need to be liked. And social media is no exception.

This wil make sense later, promise

Each day or every couple of days you post random stuff about your life.  What you ate for breakfast.  Your latest shopping finds.  How you feel about politics, friendships, work, love (shudder).  And I think all of us want to be “liked”, read, or “retweeted”.

But I’m not going to tell you how to be liked. Cause, seriously, I’m no expert.

Nope, instead I’ll tell you the signs that you are “liked”. Possibly too much so. And yes, its possible to be too popular if you ask me.

Anyhow, let’s get started.

People Randomly Comment and Thank You For Shit You Forget You Did

I’m not talking about the maniac who thanks their followers or readers every thirty seconds:

I love my twitter twiends!  You guys are the best.

or …..

Seriously guys! Thanks for reading my blog! I couldn’t have asked for better friends. I heart all of u!

or updating their facebook status with:

I just told my hubby about how great ya’ll are!

First off, imagine that husband?!

I’m not talking about these kind of people. If you get a personalized “thank you” comment about stuff you forgot you wrote, that’s a good sign. As long as it doesn’t include the term, “I heart you”.

I speak for all of blogs, Facebook, and Twitter when I say, it’s enough already with the hearting.

People Recommend You and Your Blog On Twitter When It’s Not Friday.

Forget “Follow Friday”  The real time to decide if people like you is on every day aside from Friday. Just once, I’d like to see a tweet like this:

Hey Bob, are you following @Edens_Eats!?  You should!  It’s really tight!  She’s snarky and fun!

Actually, that sucked. And let’s not use “tight”. Let’s cast that word out along with “LOLZ” and “fecal”. Lets try this instead:

Hey Bob, are you following @Edens_Eats?!  You should!  Because if you don’t, I’ll cut you.


Even When You’re At Your Most Annoying, People Still Read Your Blog And Don’t Unfollow You.

Suppose one day you get all drunk and reveal a deep, horrible secret about yourself.

ZoMg guys… srsly.  I kno i shldnt say this butt regis philbin is hot as shit.

(I know, “ZOMG” is just as confusing as “LOLZ”). Or you start writing mean things about your readers.

i can’t believe you all have nothing to do except read ‘my tweets’ and read my posts.  gawd.  the internet is like a vortex of virginity.

The next morning you wake up and survey the damage:

Hundreds of “Likes”. Thousands of comments. Nobody unfollowed.

One new follower.

Regis Philbin

People Actually Listen To You.

Look, in real life, nobody listens to me. I teach a kindergarten cooking class and these six year olds will do anything but listen to me. They just stare at me thinking:

Really, shithead?  Really.  Oh okay.  I’ll be quiet and assemble my raisins on my peanut-free peanut butter log.  Right after I shit my pants and commit a little vandalism on the monkey bars.

And they’re six. I know, they really shouldn’t be shitting their pants.

Social media is different.  If you can get people to listen to you, you’re liked.  If you can’t, you’re not liked. Simple fact.

I’m guessing my students dont follow me on twitter

So what are signs you’ve noticed?


31 thoughts on “Signs You Are a Social Media Darling

  1. This was seriously the funniest post ever. I am sitting here in my NY hotel room reading this as the hubby lays in bed, and I keep bursting out laughing, and the hubby finally says, “what are you doing!!??”. I reply with “Reading Eden’s post”, and instantly, he understands.

    Yes, I do tell the hubby how great you are. Don’t mock that. Or I’ll cut you.

  2. zomg/lolz MY HUSband just said the same thing to me!!! LOLZZZZZ!!!! I’m laughing so hard my abs hurt *remember I warned you that they’d hurt and I’d have a hard time reading your post and as predicted….it’s true.

    OK I’m not universally ‘liked’ or followed or anything but once I came across someone (a dear sweet blogger who later became a friend- not you) who quoted some inane thing I said in my early (read: virginal) blogging dayz. (yes, with a “z”). It was flattering and yet I thought: OMG, that poor girl actually listened TO ME!!!!

    My Dad used to quote Groucho marx and it goes something like this: I’d never join a club that would accept me. Is that like the internet today??

    Miss you!!!

    • Whoa deb, for realz??? Of course your liked! Your crazy to think otherwise. But bless anyone who liked me in my “virginal” blogging days. Bonus blessings if they listened to me, I just hope they are still alive cause good luck to anyone who listens to me!

      I’m sorry about your “abzzz” 😉

  3. Eden, I tell my husband about you all the time. Mainly because dry humor makes our day! That either makes you or breaks you. It makes you in my book!

  4. I too tell my hubby about what I read, mainly cause I’m chuckling every morning as I’m getting ready for work and reading!

    I read you in your early blog days and am still here to tell about it! I took all those food reviews to heart! 😉

    This post just made my Monday! I especially love the “I will cut you” – I couldnt stop saying that thanks to Bon Qui Qui!!!

    (and Deb, I seriously love ANY quote by Groucho! Those movies are some of my faves- guess that’s where my sarcastic outlook on life first formed!)

  5. Well, truth is I would be ok with the “go follow her” tweet even if it’s Friday! It has never happened to me, but I hear that there is a thing such as people linking to your Regis Philbin tweet and spend an entire post discussing it!

  6. I heart this post.

    it makes my day when someone will remember a detail I wrote in my mindless babble… a detail that means something to me and I probably added it for that reason, having nothing to do with the jar of juice I just posted a photo of. also, the readers who know my name isn’t bettie. THAT’S tight.

    • I always wondered if someone sent you emails starting with: “Dear Bettie”

      And I’m glad someone read my mindless babble, but good luck to them if they ever listen to my advice.

  7. Pretty sure Andy and I don’t have lives because we’ll talk about comments all the time. “OMG did you notice ****** commented to your beer post? OMG!” ok so maybe not QUITE like that. But close.

  8. “the internet is like a vortex of virginity” If I hadn’t recently started dating again after, like, fucking FOREVER, that would have made me really sad! As it was, it just made a little sad.

    And I agree, it really rubs me up the wrong way when people thank readers all the time, or apologise for being 30 minutes late with a post or whatever. If that person can post at the exact same time every day, then I doubt they’re interesting enough to be worth reading!

    • Aw, I have no intentions of making anyone sad. If it makes you feel better, the last time I had a date, I didn’t even have this blog to bitch about on it. Seriously, men are like allergic to me.

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