They say you go through 5 emotional states when dealing with grief:
I’m at anger.
So I leave you with an open letter to my dad’s brain tumor:
It is with a heavy heart that I write these lines to you here in the florescent light of the oncology waiting room, but I felt I just had do this—for both of us. I want you to know that I had high hopes for this relationship when we first met at the MRI. The romance, the drama—the prospect of certain death—all added a certain je ne sais quoi to what had been until then just a casual fling with another benign growth. And even though all my friends warned me that this relationship could go nowhere, I really thought with you it would be different this time.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I tried to make this work. I really did.
Look, I know I’ve changed, but you’ve changed too. You’re no longer the dull headache, the memory loss, and the vague feeling of unease you used to be. Lately all you seem to want to do is make my dad yell at me and make him go to sleep. I confess: it’s been increasingly painful to be in this relationship as time has gone by. I guess in the end I’m just sick of the numerous trips to the ER, the word-finding, the medicines, the radiation, the chemo. I’m just SICK of it!
Where did the magic go?
I want you to know, though, that it’s not really about you: it’s me. I’ve just got to move on, do other things with the few months left in with my dad. Hmm, maybe you should just move on too? I recommend Muammar Gaddafi. .
I know this is hard for you. But I’m sure after all the radiation sessions, you’ll have a suntan that the whole Jersey Shore cast would be jealous of. And I must say, you’re messing with the wrong person. Your about to get your ass kicked. If not by my dad, then for sure by my mom. Your buddy, breast cancer, messed with my mom. So now she’s REALLY pissed and I’m sure wherever she is she’ll send over a good ass-whopping too.
But seriously, go bother some dictator or child molester.
With all my hate,
Who/what would you want to write an open letter to? Do you find yourself in the “anger” stage of grief sometimes?