Stuff Blogger Don’t Talk About: “The Bad Stuff”

Its been a while since I’ve done a “stuff bloggers don’t talk about post”. So here’s one thats appropriate during this time.

Sometimes, blogs are indeed unicorns and rainbows. I mean, most people don’t have this whole “life” thing easy, so the blogs can be an escape. Not that all blogs need to be happy-go-lucky, but lets face it, bloggers don’t often write about whats REALLY shitty about their life. Tragedy happens.

Why would some bloggers avoid the “bad stuff”? Consider this:

No One Likes Complainers: Nothing irritates me more than, a “woe is me, feel bad for me, my life sucks, wah wah wah” post.

Bad Things are Bad for Blog Business: People don’t want a drop in their traffic. And when they write of sad things, they risk losing readers.

Bad Things Have Nothing to do with Overnight Oats or Kale Chips: And lets face it, blogs are all about bragging about your latest oatmeal, kale chip, protein smoothie….and those have nothing to do with tragedies.

But guess what….bad things happen. Even to bloggers. Even to nice, happy-go-lucky bloggers.

I think bloggers eventually express some of the shit that’s going on in their life. Like I’ve mentioned in previous posts, blogs are diaries. An outlet of expression. And although they may try to hide it, I think eventually the bad stuff spills on to their posts.

Some people love reading all the “bad stuff”. Its like an addiction. Maybe it makes their life feel simple and better in comparison Β And there are those that want nothing to do with “bad stuff”. They don’t want to post about it, read it, or associate with a blogger who does.

I think I just try to keep it real. I don’t like reading about bad stuff, but I don’t like it when there is clearly some denial going on. As far as my blog, I don’t share EVERYTHING because there may be future bosses and relatives reading this. But I do share things I feel comfortable sharing with say, a good friend. Not a therapist!

So do you like sharing the “bad stuff”? Does reading about it interest you? Does it turn you off?

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39 thoughts on “Stuff Blogger Don’t Talk About: “The Bad Stuff”

  1. I post about the bad stuff (like my mom’s illness) occasionally, but I generally focus on the positive in my daily life, so I don’t let things I can’t change bring me down too much, or for too long. I like reading blogs that are REAL. Like yours. When blogs are too everything-is-always-perfect, I get turned off. When people complain, whine, and get down on themselves every.single.post, then I don’t like that either.

    • well said. And I think your one of my favorite bloggers that have a good balance of “the ugly” stuff while still being positive, but not annoyingly so. Does that make sense? bottom line, dont change a thing!

  2. I will write about the bad stuff if its going on. I have found that my views actually go higher when I am honest and talk about the shitty stuff. People like real life problems—I think it makes them feel less alone.

  3. I share the bad stuff that I would be comfortable sharing with, say, a co-worker, but I didn’t mention, for example, the bladder infection I thought I had that sent me to urgent care only to pee on my own hand accidentally and find out I’m just a hypochondriac… I didn’t blog about that… I saved it for your comment section haha.

    I guess I’m not really talking about actual serious bad stuff though. I suppose I save that stuff for close friends and family- lucky them, huh?

  4. I don’t mind reading bad stuff because I think we all need to share in order to gain comfort from our bad stuff, you know? Like I benefit from a good rant from time to time.

    But I get really annoyed by blogs that are just downright NEGATIVE all the time, complaining about every small detail in every single post. I don’t understand that. Don’t they get exhausted from all this bad karma? I’ve read a post where the blogger complains because someone bought her the wrong kind of carrots. Um…okay. -__-;;;

  5. I don’t really write about the bad stuff in my blog, but now that I am thinking of it I don’t write about the good stuff either. Sharing my life, problems and feelings is not my strong point and I don’t really do it in real life, so I guess it never struck to me to do it in my blog.. But I am interested in reading such posts in other people’s blogs. It’s their life out there and since every life has to include both bad and good, it’s only logical right? It’s only when one of the side gets disproportional that I become suspicious… Or you might just say that I am a huge gossip and I like reading about other people’s lives…

  6. Lol at Bad “Things Have Nothing to do with Overnight Oats or Kale Chips”. (I’ve never had either of those btw! In both cases, my overarching feeling is “what’s the point?”)

    Funnily enough, I’ve been going through a really stressful period recently, the root cause(s) of which I haven’t talked about, but the symptoms and responses I have. And in fact I’ve had more considered comments to those kind of posts than I expected. I think there’s a difference between “woe is me” and “this is me” (ugh, that was naff, sorry!). But you know what I mean? People want you to be human, and that sometimes means admitting weakness, fear, failure, upset… I guess it depends on what kind of blog it is. If people read for the food porn, then perhaps that’s not what they want at all — they’re just interested in the recipes, not the person behind them! But generally, my experience of bloggers that I interact with is that any post that is genuine is well-received, whether the content is positive or kinda a downer.

    Oh, and I like the “things I’d tell a good friend, not a therapist”! I’m way more guarded than you, so I’d say “acquaintance, not a therapist”, but it’s a good analogy!

    Hope you and Pa are doing ok today xx

  7. Haha, your point reminds me of the Life of Brian song, “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.”

    Because for some bloggers, I think that’s part of why we only see the rainbows. A lot of people don’t exactly treat their blogs as dead-honest diaries, even if they started out that way. It’s a journal, but a selective one. And many people like being the spunky chick from the teen movie rather than the goth-swathed angster.

    I get personal, but even I sometimes brush over the darker stuff. I don’t lie about it, but I focus more on what’s making me happy. Then I’ll randomly spew a post of preteen melodrama. For me, probably the reason I dust over sadder stuff is I see it as my own screwy head games, rather than something with a reasonable cause. Nothing “bad” in my life is happening…my friends and family are healthy and I’m not broke, preggers, or going through a breakup. Often I just feel sad for little reason, and don’t feel it’s worth posting about.

    As for your blog, I love how you keep it real. You’re all that and a bag of kale chips.

  8. bad stuff is reality and sometimes we just need to vent and let people hear (i mean read) our voice. I feel like we are a good support system for that. Lets face it, we don’t need to pretend to live in a perfect life bubble. Those don’t exist, but real friends do! Vent anytime, anyday to me! I’m here. Hug your dad for me today please.

  9. I don’t mind reading the bad stuff because I understand that it is part of life. I think that writing about is therapeutic, and it can even help connect the reader to the blogger in a more emotional way (can we really bond over oatmeal? I don’t know).

    I’m a walking contradiction though. I get so anxious about posting personal posts (this week and today are good examples), and I go back and forth hitting publish. I think the biggest reason is like you said above, I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. Overall, I think I’m pretty happy with my life in spite of everything and I’m a mostly positive person. I want my blog to accurately reflect that as well, you know?

    Of course, I don’t know if I’d want to read a blog where every single post was negative, but I think a pessimistic attitude would turn me off far more than just writing about a bad situation.

    Ahh I ramble far too much in your comments! Anyways, I hope you are doing well girl. Have a great Wednesday!

  10. I save the really introspective stuff for my paper journal…Bad stuff that I talk about on my blog is stuff that I could share with people at work or good friends. Other stuff is private enough that the whole world doesn’t need to read or know about it. That being said, I fully admit that on occasion, I like to complain (Hence my tagline), although I also like to think I gripe with enough of a comedic spin that I come across more funny than whiny or bitchy. πŸ™‚

  11. I think it depends whether someone uses a blog as a diary or as a way to get away from things for awhile. Either way, it’s their choice and our choice to read. For me, I’ve gotten away from a lot of personal issues because I feel like I can deal with them better now and don’t need to air out my laundry over and over. I don’t need as much support as I did in the past. Writing about other things helps me get through the crap and not dwell.

    But with that said, I talk about everything on my blog. If something bad is going on, heck yeah I’ll talk about it if it’s weighing on my mind. Like it’s mentioned above, there’s a big difference between “woe is me” and “this is me.” One plays the victim and one keeps it real.

  12. I talk about everything. Do I “live out loud” a little too much? Maybe. I try to be honest, because inventing fiction about my life would be delusional, and I’d rather just let people know what’s happening. I try not to focus on the negative in life or in blogging, but I want to let everyone know I’m not perfect and I’ve got ‘ish’ in my life too, but blogging (quietly) about it helps me move past it or twist it around to the bright side of it all. [See today’s post.—>That was me whoring out my blog. But I learned it from you. ;)]

  13. Well, I readily admit when I think things are shitty or I’m unhappy. That’s life. It’s my blog and I can do what I want right πŸ˜‰ I think that when you aren’t honest. then people can sense that. No one’s life is peaches and cream 24/7. And if that’s all you ever see from someone’s blog, you start to feel that they’re fake. I don’t know about you, but I can’t stand fake people

  14. If something “bad” or hard is going on my life, I usually mention it briefly, with not very much detail, just so people know what’s going on, but not all the personal details. There’s only so much that I want to be out there for the whole world to read! πŸ™‚

  15. I worry quite a bit about overloading readers with “bad stuff,” mostly because times when I’m down are when I most need/feel motivated to reach out. Also, I don’t do food pictures/recipes/discussion on my blog, so the focus is sort of just what’s going on in my head, for better or worse.

    I think it depends on the crowd of readers. I have a different set of “regulars” than a food blog, I would expect, so I guess maybe they have a higher tolerance for my bullshit, or at least I hope. But that doesn’t mean worry about the issue doesn’t bug me, because it does, a lot. I guess I’ve accepted the fact that if I tried to mask all of that and act happyhappyfine when I’m not, it would defeat the purpose of having the blog as an outlet. And sometimes people really do need to know that they’re not alone in suffering from X Y or Z issue, so I don’t think everyone is turned off by that. Just for the record, I haven’t found discussions about your personal life or the struggles you’re going through to be a deterrent to reading in any way. I think if comments drop off when someone discusses tough issues, it’s not that people aren’t interested/don’t care but that a lot of times people just don’t know what to say.

  16. I don’t write that much personal stuff, period, on my blog. I know that family and coworkers read it and I’m not comfortable sharing it all, from my deepest emotions, to personal issues in my life. I appreciate when others do and enjoy reading those blogs. For now, I just can’t do it, w/o fear of repurcussions.

  17. I think there needs to be a balance… the good, the bad, and the ugly. πŸ™‚ I wouldn’t say that I “enjoy” reading about the bad stuff, but it makes people more real when they share things that aren’t always rainbows. You do a great job with that here. If people are glossing over things that are going on with them, that’s their choice, but sharing it can be helpful too. I say don’t worry too much about what others think about it and blog from your heart — share what means something to you, and what helps you — whatever that may be.

  18. I talk about whatever in my blog. Some of it is silly, some sad, some pointless, some about food, etc. I do keep in mind, like you, that people I might not want reading could find it, so I do stay careful and not put EVERYthing out there. I share stuff that I’d tell a friend basically. A best friend or husband though? no.

  19. You probably know this but I would rather hear about bad stuff (and good stuff) over kale chips. I am all about reading about life and enjoy a good recipe thrown in at the end. That’s why I love your blog.

  20. I have run the gamut from posting mostly recipes, to posting photos of the cats, to trips, to exercise, to when life really hits the shitter. Usually I do try to keep it positive and non-controversial (unicorns: the animal Derek never knew existed?!!). But, ironically my blog stats were very high (comparatively speaking) when my Dad was dying and I was blogging about it. I do think that some people want to see that they are not alone in suffering.

    And I do think that there is a difference between discussing real problems and white girl problems (that’s from a website, it’s not me being racist/reverse racist, whatever). When I see people whining about stupid stuff, it turns me off and I do remember them for it.

    I also want you do hug Dad for me today and hopefully we’ll see you both soon.

  21. My blogs tag should be “the good, the bad, and the ugly” cause I never care weather my posts are super joyful (mostly not!), or super sad. Mostly I’m in between πŸ™‚

    But I think it’s a reflection of your personality. And I’ve never been that bubbly optimistic kind of girl.

  22. Really interesting to me. I loved reading the comments on this one because it’s a topic that I toss back and forth about ALL the TIME. See…the bad stuff is part of the reason I started blogging about the GOOD. For so long in my life I chose to hide enough of the bad so that what I showed was the false goodness to those who loved me in order to protect them…and me. When I was truly ready to deal with all of life {the good, the bad, the ugly and the delicious} I started focusing on my mentality and approaching life as a “how can I see the good” rather than how can I focus on being a victim. I do not have a very good censor button on my own life though when a keyboard is at my fingertips. I want to explore life with my blog as an outlet and a means of sharing the things I learn along the way which means dealing with the tough stuff sometimes. So…on my blog…you’re going to get both thorns and roses.

  23. A lot of my family reads my blog so I avoid posting about the bad stuff because I don’t want to upset anyone or get too personal. I want to though!

    I like reading blogs and think it’s a great outlet so keeping it real works for me.

  24. I like a mix of both. I mean if somone is always down in the dumps it makes me not want to read every day but if they are always unicorns and sunshine then I think they are full of crap! haha! I like the blogs that are real, don’t always talk about food and exercise and instead just be themselves without trying to impress me.

  25. I think you hit the nail on the head with “keep it real”. It’s no fun to read the daily moans of a self-confessed pessemist, but when life gets hard I think people appreciate honesty. Perpetual rainbows and unicorns can be just as annoying as persistent whining!

  26. I tried to keep my blog very positive for a while, but it just felt so fake to me because of what I was dealing with in real life. My blog became more of a chore because I had to pretend to be a super positive happy person just like I was doing with people in my every day life, and it is kind of exhausting to put on a happy face all the time. I also realized that people appreciate when you are “real” with them and they can relate. Everyone has problems and you connect with people and help them by sharing yours. Getting really personal makes me uncomfortable sometimes, but since my blog is low profile (ie not a lot of readers) it’s not so bad, the benefits of being real outweigh the cons of exposing personal issues.

    I always try not to come off as whiny though. I also get incredibly irritated by blogs where the person mopes and plays the victim…I can’t read them, I have to click away.

  27. I have mixed views I guess on the bad stuff. We share some bad things on our blog, we try not to sound like complainers but like you said sometimes bad things happen. Depending on what the blog is writing about and how bad the make the bad stuff be or how they project their voice on the blog depends if it makes me stay or not. We try to keep our blog positive though bring in real life situations we go through, well the ones we think some one else might learn from!

  28. I don’t like to read someone’s blog who complains ALL the time (just like friends who complain all the time, generally about stuff that really isn’t important, are super annoying) but I like blogs where people seem REAL. That means ups and downs. And right now you are going through a super rough time and of course you should be real about it and vent and complain and do whatever you want to do…and I think you’re doing a fantastic job of not being super whiny when you totally could be. In a nutshell, I like reading blogs of people who seem like real people and are interesting.

  29. I sometimes feel uncomfortable sharing the bad stuff. I fear judgement a lot, so I’ve been avoiding posting about negative things in my life. I really do enjoy reading “the bad” because a lot of times I feel less strange if I’ve been through a similar situation. I think I’ll warm up to the idea eventually, but since my blog is still a baby I’m taking it slow.

  30. I think that you are right, we don’t talk about the issues a lot of the time, and it really is a shame because I feel that the support available here is tremendous! Of course, we don’t like reading bad things, but at the same time, it is painful to see clearly that someone is struggling and denying it. It is just human nature though I guess…

    Very insightful post!

  31. I tend to share some of the bad stuff, but maybe kinda vague? And as for reading it? If it is therapeutic to someone to “purge” it than yes I’m honored to be there for them in whatever way I can – however if the bad stuff is ohhh poor me my overnight oats were gooey or I cant afford the new Tory burch’s this month I’m kinda like eff you…

    On a sort of different note I made you something but couldn’t find your email address – can you email me (okay totally different note)

  32. Yep, I love reading the bad stuff.

    I constantly want to write about my anxiety troubles, or seek out a friendly word of advice on a troubling situation on my blog but I’m afraid people will react badly. I’ve posted a few anxiety posts, but I always keep them relatively ‘light’ – and there’s nothing LIGHT about this damn mental health issue.

    On the other hand, I love reading the ‘bad’ or ‘ugly’ on other blogs. I love the chance to leave a comment of encouragement, or sympathy, or whatever. Plus, it makes me feel like the blogger is a regular old person like me. When people NEVER have a bad day, NEVER miss a workout, and NEVER have beer and pizza for breakfast (what? okay, maybe that was a little out there…) I start feeling inadequate and like they’re some kind of super-blogger.

    So, um, short version? Yep. Post the bad. Throw your feeling out there. I’ll be here writing encouraging or sympathetic comments, and eagerly awaiting your next post – whether its good, bad, or ugly.

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