“Life’s Not Fair”

This is do difficult for me to write.

Blogging is no fun anymore. I’m fairly certain my dad will pass from this brain problem. None of his doctors appear to be optomistic. I don’t hear any good news from anyone. The case seems to get more and more complicated. He will do another in depth MRI tomorrow and probably a biopsy on tuesday. Its very difficult since this tumor is in deep in the speech and language area of the brain. One miss int he surgery and he might not be able to speak. It was not there three months ago, so I’m worried its aggressive.

I’m not ready to be an orphan, my dad doesn’t deserve this; it just all seems unfair!

But life is unfair. Bad things seem to happen to good people (not a big believer in karma). Seriously, whats up with that?! Why can’t dictators develop tumors and get strokes?!

But I know my mom and my dad would not want me to stop the blog. It has been my journal of sorts, my outlet, my connection to those I love. Yes, I love some of you out there.

So I decided to list other things that are simply so unfair:

Men’s metabolism: Ok, seriously, what the fuck!? I hate that you men out there cut out one soda a day and you loose ten pounds! Damn you and your fast metabolism! Not that I want to loose weight, but I’d love to have to live off chicken wings and pizza to keep my weight up. Sadly, just a slice or two will do the trick.

Rich people born into money: Not that its bad to have money, all the more power too you. But it irks me when one hasn’t earned it.

How we perceive beauty: I know, most of us say beauty doesn’t matter. But the fact of the matter is that beautiful people have an advantage. A very unfair advantage.

That males make more money that females: Maybe its because all women seem to hate each other, or that we cry at work, talk about our “feelings”, and get excited over chocolate.

That women can have multiple orgasms: no comment

That universites are so exclusive and so expenive: I hate that brilliant people don’t always get into their desired university and that universities are so damn expensive! Wanna become a doctor? You only rich by the time your 60 after paying off the decades of medical school!

That Santa Clause isn’t Real: I’m a Jew and he wouldn’t visit me anyhow, but it would be cool. Sorry if I spoiled anything.

That there will always be a polititian dumber than our dog: Seriously, how are these people elected?! Oh right, see family money.

That HBO and Showtime cost money: With the exception of Family Guy, I only like shows like Nurse Jackie, Dexter, Entourage, and Curb Your Enthusiasm. This make basic cable so pointless!

Alright, what do you think are the most unfair things?



41 thoughts on ““Life’s Not Fair”

  1. Only you can keep your wacky humor during these trying times.

    I don’t really understand what it means to have multiple orgasms. Why then does men apparently like sex more than females?

    Most unfair thing is that some people have great parents; others have crappy ones. I’m glad yours is the good one.

  2. Life’s not fair, I give you that. I really admire you for being able to keep your humor in all of this. And I hope you are wrong about your father and he gets well. Now, about men’s metabolism I have been following a brilliant plan: being totally bad in this life to get reincarnated as a lower form of life in my next one. I know that you are not a big fan of karma, but if it works, I get men’ metabolism and all the other perks (eg higher salary), otherwise, I have enjoyed my sinful life in this existence…

    • Oddly enough, I do kind of believe in the idea of reincarnation! Is that totally crazy?! I’m confident I was Indian in a past life because I have this pull towards indian food!

  3. Oh Eden, my heart breaks to read this. I am so very, very very sorry for what you are going through. If there is anything I can do, a shoulder to cry on, or vent on, email me…anytime. I am a great listener and am here to help.

    In peace and with my deepest sympathy…

  4. eden, I am praying praying praying for you and your dad!!! Please know that I will be here for you. Anytime, please email me! Even if its just to yell and scream, I’ll listen.

  5. I am so sorry to hear this…From what you’ve written about him, your dad seems like such a cool, interestingly awesome guy, and I hate to see things like this happen–Both to you and to him. 😦 Let the blog be catharsis for you–I doubt anyone here would care if you never post another recipe again…although my bambino would probably love another doughnut recipe 😉 Still sending my thoughts & prayers to you & your dad & hoping he pulls through this.

  6. Eden, you’re doing the best for your Dad, a daughter could. My thoughts are with you.
    (A longtime reader de-lurking from Germany.)

  7. Agreed to all of the above.
    Call or text me any ANY time. I don’t care if I’m pretending at work or sleeping. Call if you need to.
    The end.

  8. I’m sorry about your Dad, Eden. You will be in my thoughts and prayers (I know that sounds really lame because I don’t know you, but I mean it)!

    On another note, I definitely agree with the college tuition. What the heck! Education should not be that expensive.

  9. I agree – not fair at all. You have every right to vent, curse, whatever you choose. I think it’s not fair that we work our entire freaking lives, when we can finally retire, we’re too tired to enjoy life (not always of course, but I’m not expecting to ever get to retire).

  10. Oh Eden, I hate that so much. I know how you feel on not being ready to be an orphan. Life us not fair – we live in a fallen world where nothing seems to make sense. I’ve wondered too why the “bad” people don’t seem to suffer the injustices and hardships, but I always go to Psalms 73 and it makes me feel better. It’s also not fair that people who want children many times cannot have them, yet there are others who could care less and mistreat them yet they have 4 & 5 kids! Totally not fair 😦
    I am praying for you and your Dads situation. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself, whether blogging or not (but personally I want you to blog!) Just stay strong and healthy!

  11. Sending you lots of love and a dash of hope.

    Life is unfair, and I’m pretty sure that you are a “realist” which means this probably isn’t surprising to you. But it sucks! There’s no way around it. Accepting that we can’t control some things…gosh.

    As a student I can think of a lot of things that are unfair. How the guy who sits next to me in class never studies but gets the same grade on the test as me, who has been cramming like a mad woman. How some athletes get “free passes” for entire assignments. How some professors are nice to the “hot” kids.

    And I agree with all of yours, except the rich people born into money. They end up missing out on a few things in life that I consider to be really important.

    Deep breaths sweet girl!

  12. Yes! Everything in this post is so true!

    I am very sorry for the circumstances surrounding your father right now. I truly hope that they are able to figure out what is going on and fix it. At a young age, my husband lost his step mom to breast cancer who was like a second mom to him. It still hurts, but I know that the love that they had for one another is still there and all of the lessons of life that she taught him made him into the wonderful person he is now and they will never be lost. I hope you are able to cherish the love that you have with your father and be with him always. Your father is in my thoughts, I am hoping for the best for you two!

  13. OH no Eden, thats not what I was wanting/expecting to hear. Don’t lose hope though. Ok? It’s hard not to think the worst, but just try not to. You are right about it not being fair. Life is pretty damn ugly to us sometimes.

    About your reply to my comment yesterday, I do feel like we are friends too and I’m pretty sure this lump in my throat and sickening feeling in my stomach about what you are going through confirms that. I’m just so sad for you. It’s an uncomfortable and helpless feeling.

    I really don’t know what else to say except stay strong and that I’m thinking about you. If you want to talk/email or anything I’m here for you. 😦

  14. Eden, I’m so sorry about what’s going on. I’ve been thinking about you and your dad. You’re right, it’s completely unfair.

    I guess I believe in karma in a way–I’m always making weird connections and stuff in life–but I think illness is something that no one could ever do anything to deserve.

  15. Eden, there are no words that can make this go away but I am sorry you are having to go through this. You’re right, it’s not fair. Keep writing and doing the things that bring you joy and give you strength. You’re not alone. There are so many of us willing to reach out and let you know that. If you need anything, let me know. *Hugs*

  16. You’re right. Life is NOT fair, and you have been dealing with shit you do NOT deserve! I am praying for your dad, Eden! And while life isn’t fair, I do believe in karma.. and you have some good karma on your side. So I think your dad is going to pull through and beat this. Serious.

  17. Oh Eden I hate this also. I hate that this is happening to you and I just wish there were some way I could help and make this right.

    Multiple orgasms may not be fair in theory. But considering that men get paid more AND have crazy metabolisms…I think it all evens out in the end. Although most men suck at giving multiple orgasms. So. Hmm.

  18. I don’t know what to say, except that my heart goes out to you. If there is anything I can do, please never hesitate. You are strong and beautiful. Please take care of yourself. I pray your wonderful father will make it through this. Life is NOT fair. We have to fight to find the silver lining sometimes. You have struggled with so much and I hope things improve so you can have some peace of mind!
    Sending hugs.

  19. I am so, so sorry to hear this news Eden. I honestly don’t know what to say… I’ve never been great at this sort of thing.

    I do want to commend you for sticking with your blog. I know posting is probably really difficult right now, but to be able to see it as a healthy outlet and to stick with it is a really amazing thing. You lift people’s spirits with this blog, and I can only assume that it lifts a part of yours as well.

    God bless 🙂

  20. Eden, I’m so so sorry to hear about your dad! I know I never comment but I still read, and seriously, only you would still try to crank out a funny post at this moment. You’re too strong for your own good I think. I don’t mean that like it’s a bad thing, but you can’t be superwoman all the time! (you’re pretty damn close though).
    I’d be sad if you left blogging, particularly because I’d worry about you and want to know you’re ok, and I also do think it gives you a huge support network that you can really use. Look how many people respond and reach out to you! But do what you need to do, take your time, post whatever you feel like posting, whether depressing, sad, up beat, crazy- you deserve it, it’s your space. What you need are lots of hugs and love, go out and get it! Spend time with your dad, your family, your friends, and let them hold you up when you need it. You also don’t deserve to lose your father, life really is unfair to the best of people. You’re not the first to wonder why it is that Cheney’s 5th hearth attack didn’t do him in :X. My mom has a really good book by a Rabbi whose name I don’t remember but it’s called “Why do bad things happen to good people?” and even though I’m not all that religious, it is really helpful.
    ***I’m sending ginormous internet hugs and love your way!! ****

  21. I think it’s so unfair that you have to go through this. And for the 2nd time at that. I just don’t know what to say, because I’ve never lost a parent and I can’t imagine the pain that you’re going through right now. But I beleive in praying, and I’ll continue to do that, because I really want you to have many more years with dad. You deserve that!

  22. all my heart and love go out to your Dad and to you. been out of the reading routine so only just found out today. i really hope that all will be A ok for you both. stay strong and stronger even!!!! sorry but cannot think of anything cool or funny to say which is unfair as i want to try and help you in my own little way.
    big hug from across the pond to you and to Dad.

  23. Yes, life is unfair. What you are going through is really unfair. I’m hoping for some good news for you.

    Your Santa Claus/Jew comment made me think of this Sarah Silverman video that my sister showed me called “give the Jew girl toys”. It seems pretty unfair that Santa would bypass us.

  24. Life is unfair but I think it’s okay for you to write about exactly how you’re feeling. I’ve been thinking of you and your dad and praying for you. (And I’m not usually the praying kind!)

  25. Eden, I’m so, so sorry you have to go through this. Please know I’m thinking of you.
    The metabolism of menfolk is definitely unfair. But maybe multiple orgasms burn a few extra calories?

  26. girl, i am so sorry to hear about your dad. Damn doctors!!! I hate doctors. Never have anything good to say…why do we pay them so much???
    Anyways, I know a lot of people already said this, but if you need to talk or just sit in silence with someone, I am here!! Well both lori and i, you get two for 1 🙂

    thinking of you and your dad always!

  27. I’m so sorry Eden. As hard as it is, try to stay positive, at least for your sanity. It must be extremely difficult for you right now. Life will have its ups and downs, and the downs hit so hard. I’m glad that you’re updating us, as much as blogging might seem so trivial right now. I like hearing from you, even in the worst of times. I’m glad you can still maintain a little sense of humor too, the second half of this post had me giggling.

  28. I am so, so sorry that you have to go through this, I wish there were a wand that could be waved to fix the whole situation. From what I’ve gathered via your blog, it’s obvious your dad is a great person, and he has been lucky to have a daughter like you during this ordeal.

    Your sense of humor never fails to make me “smile out loud” in front of my computer. Love this list, especially the ones about men’s metabolisms. Seriously, wtf. I once estimated that my teenage brother eats about 4500 calories a day, just to maintain his weight, and he is slender.

    How about the unfair fact that pigs orgasm for half an hour straight?

  29. Hi Eden,

    Hope things are going better today. When I read blogging is no longer fun for you, I though, OH NO! She’s going to stop blogging. Of course if it’s not fun, then you shouldn’t do it, but if you find it helps, keep blogging because you have many fans and we will miss you! This article kind of reminded me of what you wrote (http://therumpus.net/2011/03/is-writing-therapy/) although I’m not sure I agree with the author’s opinion b/c I think writing can be theraputic.

    Going to pray for you and your father tonight. Try and stay positive (I realize easier said then done).

  30. I’m far behind in blog reading so I’m sorry if you’ve talked in an upcoming post. But I wanted to offer you a virtual hug and say feel free to email me if I can help. My mom did have an aggressive brain tumor – one where they gave her 6-9 WEEKS to live, she lived another 18 months pain free and in that time kayaked for the first time hiked and lived fully so it doesn’t have to be all bad! Xoxo

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