Short Vlog, Chocolate Olive Oil Cookies, and Chef Seeks Parent

Remember yesterday’s post about my name? Well, here’s how I pronounce it!

Normally I look like movie star, this is just one of those unflattering “Stars Just Like Us” shots you see in tabloids.

Anyhow….

Sometimes, you gotta unload.

Just warning you.

I really would like a parent right now. I know, I’m an adult. I can vote and kill someone in war. I can gamble and drink scotch. I can’t fix a flat tire, but I can cook a mean steak (or portobello steak for you vegetarians out there).

But lately, its been clear that even though I have done ok so far without a mom, I’m gonna need to start being ok without a dad.

For those new readers, my dad suffered a brain hemorrhage on the left side of his brain in late November. Its been sort of up and down since then, but I feel like lately, he’s not the dad he used to be.

I feel like I’m the dad. And I think more than ever, I really just want a parent. I’ve considered putting a craigslist ad, but I’m sure people will be bummed to find out the only way I can pay is through chocolate olive oil cookies (recipe at the bottom of the post).

My dad’s memory has been especially spotty lately. He sometimes forgets my name which is breaking my heart. I tried to drag him to the ER today, but he refused. No matter what ,he’ll still be his stubborn self. He’ll never ask for help and will go to great lengths to hide vulnerbility.

I feel helpless. I can only bring a horse to the river, but I can’t make him drink.

What is it with men not wanting to ask for directions or for help? Don’t get me wrong, I know plenty of women that are the same way. But I wish everyone would accept the help when offered or encouraged.

Maybe this is why I’m not warming up to the idea of me being a future parent. I don’t want to have this happen to someone else. I know I too am stubborn as hell (I mean, I am my dad’s daughter).

Wow, this post is making no sense and I have a feeling I will delete this tomorrow.  I suppose I just really want a parent to tuck me in and tell me it will all be ok. Hell, I’ll even take being grounded if it means having a parent around.

So I’m putting an ad up:

Young chef seeks parent. Must be loving, caring, and know how to tuck someone properly in bed. Pedolphiles need not apply. Can only reimburse in cookies, albeit heavenly and addicting cookies.

What ad are you secretly wanting to put up?

1 2/3 cups all purpose or brown rice flour
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 eggs
3/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 tsp vanilla extract
3 ounces bittersweet chocolate
Sugar, for rolling


Preheat the oven to 350 degrees

1. Melt the chocolate in the microwave in 30 second intervals.  Set aside and let cool until lukewarm.  Sift together the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, and baking soda.
2. In a small bowl mix together the olive oil, eggs and vanilla extract  Add this to the dry mixture.  Add the melted chocolate and stir until the mixture comes together into a uniform mass.
3. Using your hands, roll the dough into ball about 3/4 to 1 inch in diameter. Roll and cover completely in sugar, and place them 2 inches apart on the parchment lined baking sheets. Use your palm to very gently flatten the cookies a bit, as they don’t spread much. Bake the cookies until lightly browned, about 20-25 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack and let cool completely.

Advertisements

55 thoughts on “Short Vlog, Chocolate Olive Oil Cookies, and Chef Seeks Parent

  1. Even if you delete this tomorrow (which is understandable), I wanted you to know that I relate to wanting a parent. There are reasons I won’t go into here, and I know that “I relate” only goes so far. Pain is fluid, shifting, and I can only hope that you find some comfort from someone/something. So I’ll leave it at that.

    Also, I’ve always wanted to post an ad for a board game buddy. I’m a Scrabble addict. Craigslist disturbs me on several levels, however, so I’ve abstained from any ad making. 😛

    xx

  2. I loved your video and I don’t know what you’re talking about because you look beautiful, seriously! I’m sorry your dad is having troubles and I will for sure keep you and him in my thoughts and prayers. You’ve been through a lot lately, but you’ve been so strong! and you should be proud of yourself for that. I’m sorry you have to go through this and I will continue to hope that he improves.

    I’d like to put an ad out for a house cleaner.. I’m terrible about clutter!

    p.s. I’d adopt you, but you’d have to come to Idaho, it’s kind of cold here 😉
    p.p.s. I wanted to email you but didn’t see an address. I tried your cheese straws tonight and they came out really good! I’m glad you shared the recipe.

  3. You DO look like a movie star in your video. So gorgeous.

    I know this doesn’t help in any way but I’m sad to hear you are going through this, you’ve been so strong. I can’t adopt you but I do love you.

    And you are right–you are stubborn sometimes. 😛

    Last thing. I think you need to carry around this video with you and play it for people when they talk to you. Every time someone calls you Ee-den I want to smack them!!!

    • PS This is Daniela. Daniela from real life that you went to Italy with when you were 15 (I don’t know if I should give my last name or any kind of personal info when trying to confirm my identity, which is why I sound really weird). Anyway, just wanted to clear that up with the “I love you” and all in case you thought I was some random Daniela saying that.

  4. I don’t think I qualify for the parent post, but I can apply for whatever other post you have available to get the cookies! Please? 🙂

    My grandmother has started showing signs of alzheimer and she mixes faces and people and events. But thanks to that, I have a baby which is black (African american? politically correct word?) and that’s why I don’t go to Greece. But I am a single mother and don’t have the baby’s father in my life. Depressing part: not even in my grandma’s imagination can I have a guy. Positive part: Even with alzheimer, my grandmais pretty cool and lberal! Just trying to make things lighter! 🙂

  5. It will be ok. It *will* be. Some days it won’t, but you’ll work through those days, with the help of your friends and your roommates and the other people in your life who love you. So stop being so stubborn and let the people surrounding you *right now* tuck you up in bed. Given how cute your vlog is, I’m pretty sure there should be a line 🙂

    • ps – thanks for the clarification. Are we all a total bunch of dimwits or what!? Got it now though. It’s like Aiden, right? 😉

      KIDDING! (Man I’m so funny in the morning)

  6. My roommates in college used to call me “Ma” so I’ll happily come parent you…although I’m not sure I can do any better than you are doing yourself. [My modus operandi is solve every problem with baking…] If I could, I’d give you a big hug right now! [Actually, I’d really LOVE to get on a plane and fly out there, as I could use a little “life break” myself. :)]

    My ad? Teacher [slash] blogger [slash] carrot-eating cowgirl seeks direction. In life.

  7. I’m sending you a big hug with this comment – unless you’re not a hugger, in which case I’m sending you a cheesy card with two bears hugging each other as pathetic symbolism.

    Bad joke. Sorry.

    I’m saddened to hear about your dad. I’m sure it’s pretty much rocking your world right now adjusting to everything. Don’t feel embarassed for anything you may be feeling or thinking – those things are what is real!

    Keep doing what you love my dear. Even if it’s not the same. Things may not be better tomorrow, next week, or even next month. But a year from now? Two years? It takes time and patience, which is hard. Sometimes can only ride the wave and try our best to show love to ourselves.

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. you know I would adopt you anyday. My family would too! We are a family full of sarcasm so I have a feeling you’d be great. And you look great, sexy thang you!
    More Vlogs please! You have great voice.

    p.s.
    Still praying for you dad and all you are going through. I’m here if you need anything.

  9. This was a fantastic post, and I know that so many people can relate to you re: NEEDING a parent. I tend to search out “mother” figures all the time, because I am craving/needing that type of relationship. I struggle with accepting things as they are (and the relationship with my parents as it is) vs. how I wish they were. I too have actually considered a Craigslist/ebay ad, or a Big Brother/Sister type setting. Thanks for the VLOG! and YOU ARE GORGEOUS Ed-den!:)
    Barbara

  10. first, you ARE gorgeous in that video and I wish I had your hair. Mine just kind of… sits there. anyway, I am sorry things with your dad have been such a struggle, and while I have no intentions of being a parent any time soon, you are always welcome to come sleep on my couch and let me make you chicken noodle soup. I can sing a mean lullaby too.

  11. I’ll adopt you! You can cook up portobello steaks for me any old time. I must say, I appreciate these types of posts – pure honesty. I have no advice to offer of course. I don’t think there’s much that can be said other than “I’m here for you.”

  12. Ahhh ohhh Eden, this must be so frustrating. The only experience I have with it is with my parents dealing with my grandparents when they got Alzheimer’s. It’s so hard. If you ever want to move to the east coast, I’ll totally adopt you and order you to clean your room. And my room. And the kitchen. And then we’ll sit around and eat cookies for breakfast the rest of the time!

  13. I wish there were a “right thing” to say about a situation like the one with your dad. I know that slippery slope into role reversal can be painful. My dad has had some serious depression issues since he got back from Afghanistan, and although I know it’s nowhere near the same situation, I do think I have an inkling of the helplessness and frustration that can come from watching someone who used to be your protector struggling in any way. You are a strong, intelligent, capable person, but I know everyone wants someone that they don’t always have to be strong with or for.

    Your dad is incredibly lucky to have you, I wish you weren’t having to deal with this. Try to keep your head up (and yes you are beautiful in your video no matter how un-made-up you felt) and take it one day at a time, you and your family are definitely in my thoughts.

  14. I feel for you, but you do still have your dad. People change, people get older and people grow up/apart. Be thankful you DO still have one parent that loves and cares for you. I lost both of mine when I was 18 and would give anything to have one, even if he was “less than perfect.”

  15. I think you come across very well in your Vlog: I wish I looked that lovely on camera!

    It’s nowhere near the same severity but your words resonated with me a lot: my Dad is still not quite right after his stroke last year and my Mum keeps having health problems related to her anorexia. I’ve been afraid to voice the feelings you described because I feel like I should be able to cope on my own, be an ‘adult.’ But even ‘adults’ need someone to lean on, and the yearning to be a child again in some capacity is understandably strong. I hope you don’t delete the post, because you have some very poignant things to say.

    xxx

  16. Aww man, Eden, I can’t imagine what you are going through, espeically with the memory loss as of late. Sending a virtual hug.

    Nice to hear your voice though — you sound like I imagined you would!

    As for the cookies, can I use a diff flour? And can I use milk chocolate chips instead of bittersweet? Please let me know!

    • yes the flour actually isnt a huge amount and my guess any flour besides almond flour could work because almond flour has a high fat content and it just wont mesh well with the olive oil.

  17. I hear ya–Both on the dad issues, as well as sometimes just wanting someone to take care of me. Both my sisters & 2 of my husband’s siblings are unwilling to grow up & act like adults, and quite frankly, I get tired of being responsible all the time. I want to f*ck up, and have someone (besides me or my husband) clean up my mess. That being said, if you don’t mind 8 months of winter a year, and a ready-made 3-year-old little brother, I’ll adopt you. Your snark & sarcasm will fit in beautifully with Jay & I, and my bambino would be your friend for life if you made him cookies or doughnuts (and so would I!). And he already knows how to say your name correctly! 🙂

  18. Gosh, that is really hard to watch your Dad go through that at such a young age. I feel deeply for you, girl.
    I am glad you can still smile and have a hilarious roommate to keep you on the up and up.
    Take care,
    missy

  19. I’m sending you a hug from across the pond! I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My grandmother had a stroke and was similarly affected. She was much more of the matronly “take charge” type than my actual mother, and played a pretty big role raising me, so it was so painful to see her break down.

    I know how hard it is. You make me think of a bioethics class I took, and a discussion we had on death. The teacher put forth an idea that, in some ways, having to take care of a parent is a “should happen” of a person’s life, but one that’s now circumvented by nursing homes and the like. I think it does, in some ways, make you a stronger person. But I don’t always want to be strong.

    Anyway, please take care, and know I’m always here to chat.

  20. First of all, I think you look pretty damn good in the vlog, I don’t know what you’re talking about. And I think it’s cool that your name is pronounced in a unique way.

    Sorry to hear about your dad. 😦 Glad you have an outlet here, though<3

  21. Eden, I made these cookies today and I swear you are a genius. I accidentally burned half of them because my oven is crazy, but even the burnt ones were good!

  22. Pingback: Mango cake still super good, plus cookies | Nature Made Complete

  23. It doesn’t seem fair that you would have to not only deal with the loss of your Mom but then to have to deal with the aftermath of your Dad’s brain hemorrhage is cruel. The responses you’ve gotten so far are so beautiful. I’m sending a hug (like everyone else) and a prayer for your Dad to continue recovering.

  24. Confession: I’m a total night owl, so I was up reading blogs and watched your vid at 3am. It woke J up next to me and he asked confused “what’s going on?” Oops!

    I totally agree with you about names and their pronunciation (in your earlier post)! I WAS saying your name wrong, but I think phonetically I was just rhyming it w/ Eeedens Eeets. I’m Christina and want to be called Christina. It’s what my parents named me – if they’d wanted me Tina they would have named me Tina. I hate when ppl just start calling me Chris, Chrissy, Tina, etc. like it’s ok. I don’t care if those are USUAL nicknames for Christina, they’re not what I told you to call me! Also, we run into this problem a LOT with Johnny. His LEGAL name is Johnny, but for some reason ppl refuse to call him that. It usually goes: Hi I’m Johnny .. *shakes hand with somebody as they say their name* and they respond “nice to meet you JOHN.” So rude. I usually bring up John Depp, John Cash, or John Carson as examples. They say .. “who?” and I say.. “exactly – he isn’t a John. His name isn’t John, it’s Johnny – 2 different names.”

    About your dad — that really sucks and I can’t imagine how hard it must be! I’m not a big chocolate fan, so if I adopt you can it be a different kind of cookie!? 😉

    • Ha! Tell J I’m sorry if i woke him up! My voice is really not all that soothing. And if you heard me in the morning, you would go deaf! I’d love to be adopted by you but I think your pets will get jealous.

  25. Hi Eden,

    I feel like I have nothing to add that wasn’t said above, except I am sorry that you are going/have gone through so much. You are such a strong person! I wish I could offer to parent you except I’m your age and I live across the country and according to my mother I can barely take care of myself 😦 Just know that you are in all our thoughts and you will be ok (I like this cheesy quote, “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay it’s not the end”).

    p.s. You look nice in the video! I don’t know why you think you look so bad. I am curious to know, how did your parents come up w/ that pronunciation? is it Hebrew? Sorry if you said this earlier and I missed it.

    • I like that quote, I will keep saying that to myself! It will be my mantra! And about my name, yes, it is pronounced the “hebrew” way. The Garden of Eden is pronounced “Eh-den” in Hebrew, but I’m not named after the garden. I think my parents and sister just liked that sound. And you know what, I think I agree with them!

  26. My dad died very suddenly when I was 17 and ever since his death (9 years ago now), my mom stopped being a mom. She just hasn’t been the same since and I’ve felt kind of “orphaned” ever since my dad’s been gone. I don’t enjoy feeling like the parent in our relationship and like you, I would love someone to tuck me and just tell me everything will be okay. I totally get where you’re coming from.

    Keep your post up…I’m sure a lot of other people can relate.

  27. Oh Eden, my heart breaks for you. Being down to 1 parent sucks, then for the other one to be having issues is just down right cruel. My grandmother had memory issues before she passed and would forget my name and who I was, so I can relate somewhat to what you are going through. It’s painful.

    My mom never was the same after my dad passed away, not with health issues, but mental health. I never got the nuturing or mothering like you are yearning for now from your dad. She was off in her own grieving world. Today she is doing terrible. Living with her ex husband for the past 10 years sleeping on his Couch, drives a vehicle that is falling apart, owes thousands to those evil check cashing places. Yea, its bad and I’M the one that has to hear her feel sorry for herself and do NOTHING about it. Sorry to ramble, just wanted to say I can relate to not getting what you want/need whatever the reasons are. I’m lucky to have my husband here for me and I wish you had someone there too. Come over and we’ll both tuck you in, but you’ll need to sleep with my son in his bed and he’s in a single…so it might be a little tight. I’ll bring you some water though and if your good…donuts in the morning.

  28. Ummmm…you’re gorgeous.

    Other than that this post made me sad. My maternal instincts make me want to come down and tuck you in and sing a lullaby but that would probably make you cry. (Maybe I should write you a poem instead. :-/ My mom used to do that for me.)

  29. Aw hon. What can I say? First of all: Nyah, Nyah, I already knew how to pronounce your name, so I feel special. You are still beautiful, even after a crappy day. And your roommate was cracking me up- on my laptop I actually couldn’t hear what she was saying, but her expressions were priceless!

    OK, now onto the parent thing: I’m gonna say something cliched that might just piss you off or annoy you. I’m not one to sugar coat, so here it is: Life comes full circle. Last week, when we were standing next to Derek’s mom who was literally hours from dying, he said to me, “she’s like a baby- it has come full circle” and he was right. And I watched it first hand with my (stubborn) mom and my (stubborn) Dad.

    There is only so much that you can do. It’s frustrating because they are technically still adults, and yet they may be lacking in adult sensibilities (or even physical capabilities). So all you can do is the next best thing: pull your hair out, and know that you tried. You will probably fight your day, and cry and try to get him to do the right thing, and he may just thumb his nose at you- just like a kid. So there you are now, the parent. Full circle. Role reversal. Call it what you like.

    I will also say that it is highly cruel that you have had to endure this crap from such a young age- both with your mom (losing her) and now your Dad being stubborn.

    Hang in there- you are doing your best.

    And tucking in: Derek does this to me (he got it from his mum or granny) sometimes and I love it more than anything: he literally tucks a small bit of the covers under my whole body- all the way down to my feet- I feel like a sausage but soooo cozy. I wouldn’t do that do you b/c it might seem creepy- but teach it to your next boyfriend 🙂

  30. My Mom used to write me little notes of love on my lunch until I finished high school. I loved them very much and they always made me feel good. If you would like I can do the same for you. Little e-mail notes every day like she did for me. :))))

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s