Funny Fortune Cookies and Things I Love Week: Blogs

Today is Valentines Day!

As my final day of my “Things I Love” series, I’m dedicating this post to blogs. In all honesty, I havent had the time to read many of them lately due to my dad’s health issues and multiple jobs. But I do appreciate them. Valentines day is not about Kay jewelry and conversation hearts. I think it’s about celebrating love, no matter where it stems from.

So without further ado, my reasons why blogs give me love:

1. They’re entertaining. Where else will you find a picture of the cutest pup ? Or a cat vampire? Or get an amusing and unbiased beer review? On blogs, that’s where.

2. They’re interesting. I do love my magazines, but lots of them are cutting my favorite parts — the personal essays, the humor pieces, the stuff about non-celebrities and you know, REAL people.  I get sick of “10 Ways to Lose the Baby Weight” (mostly because A. I’d like to hold on to my weight and B. The only baby thing about me is love for baby corn) or get tips from Heidi Klum on how to have a good sex life. Nope, I prefer real people for my sex advice, thank you very much!
3. Gives Me Inspiration – Sometimes I get the blahs and look around my house or my life and feel pretty lackluster.  Then I pay a visit somewhere and suddenly I have a million ideas of things to improve my  style and my daily life.  Feeling frazzled, overwhelmed, and disorganized?  I head to zen habits.

4. They provide a sense of community: This is where non-bloggers think bloggers are weirdos, but you really can find a community of people through the blogosphere.  The funny thing is that I’m finding that most of the blogs I read also read the other blogs that I read.  Does that even make sense?  You all seem to “know” each other and we read the same things.  Reading great blogs allows you to find other great blogs, too.  It’s a circle of people who all care and have some really great stories, ideas, and resources.  We can follow each other’s little happenings, musings, rants, raves, and just flat out silliness.

5. I dont have to be the guniea pig! I get recipes that have already been tried, critiqued and photographed. Thank you for making the mistakes first!

6. Diversity. I read blogs written by people who live in exotic locales like
Saskatchewan, Australia, Arkansas, Minnesota, Vancouver, Germany, just to name a few… I read blogs by authors, actresses, journalists, moms, teachers, GUYS even. Turns out not everyone is a 20-something living in NY or LA. Who knew??
7. They’re interactive. You want to know why I blog instead of writing all this stuff in my own private journal? A. I have sloppy handwriting, and B.  I actually like to interact with other people! I know this may come as a shock from someone who isn’t wired with a smart phone and “tweets” once a year but it’s true. I read what other people write and respond and vice versa. Sometimes we–GASP!!–meet in real life. You know, at festivals where we eat a lot of food and stuff 😉

8. Because I just do, OK?! Look, I don’t disparage people who like to collect action hero figurines or breed Chinese crested hairless dogs or make their own socks. (At least not to their faces.) And I doubt those people feel the need to defend their interests or professionalism. (Although what do I know? There could be some huge uproar going on right now in the hairless-dog-breeding community. Heck, THIS POST could incite one!)

So I’ll stop listing the reasons why I like what I like and write what I write and read what I read and do what I do and just get on with it. Sound good?

It’s Vday, what do/who do you love?

You know what else I love, cookies! You know what else is cool, little pieces of paper stuffed in cookies. This could only mean one thing, fortune cookies!

You will need:

  • 3 egg whites
  • 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  • 1/2 cup butter, melted and cooled
  • 1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1/4 teaspoon almond extract
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour (for a gluten free version, use rice flour)
  • 2 tablespoons water
  • 1 drop of red food coloring (you can totally omit this, but I wanted to be a little festive)
  1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Grease cookie sheets, or line with parchment paper. If you want to stuff them with fortunes, have your them ready to go on small strips of paper. I recommend writing semi evil ones to scare people. See my list of fortune ideas at the bottom of the recipe!
  2. In a large bowl, whip egg whites and sugar on high speed of an electric mixer until frothy, about 2 minutes. Reduce speed to low, and stir in melted butter, vanilla, almond extract, food coloring, water and flour one at a time, mixing well after each. Consistency should resemble pancake batter. Spoon the batter into 3 inch circles on the prepared baking sheets. Leave room between because they will spread out!.
  3. Bake for 5 to 7 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the edges begin to brown slightly. Quickly remove one at a time! Seriously folk you have to move quick! I had to throw away my first batch because they hardened up on me too fast! Place a message in the center, and fold in half. Fold the ends of the half together into a horse shoe shape. If they spring open, place them in a muffin tin to cool until set.

Here are some fortune ideas:

  • Help! I’m being held prisoner inside a Chinese bakery.
  • Your dog Sparky… well, he’s no longer missing.
  • See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.
  • You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.
  • Please don’t eat me. I love you.
  • Good things are being said about you… in bed.
  • karma’s a bitch so tip
  • Some people dream of fortunes, some dream of cookies 😉
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28 thoughts on “Funny Fortune Cookies and Things I Love Week: Blogs

  1. I love a certain Eden, of course.
    I also love grocery shopping at ethnic stores, esp if it’s Chinatown and everything is cheap.
    I love Ralphs today for their $1.88/18 egg-carton sale.

    You’re such a liar. You’re so not lazy if you make your own fortune cookies! 😉

    • I made these at work, so I get paid for cooking it, trust me, otherwise, I’d be dialing up a takeout! I’m a jew, so if money is involved my laziness goes away! Avocados were 46 cents at ralphs the other day! I bought like twenty!

  2. I love snarky bloggers who link to me on their blogs. 🙂 And who taunt me with donuts & homemade fortune cookies!

    I also love my hubby & son, butter, coffee, warm February days in South Dakota, anything plaid, and whenever my grocery store has plenty of Fage in stock (I’m obsessed with that stuff).

  3. So apparently I would love LA, not just because all the cool bloggers I love are there, but because in addition to WFoods, Trader Joes and Ikea you have this “Ralph’s” place with cheap ass eggs and avocados. Right now the cheapest eggs are $1.88 a dozen and $1.79 an avocado. FML.
    But in all honesty, I love that today I have the chance to start over. I might not be going where I want to go or always doing what I want to do, but at least I can look forward to the little things–and blogs, of course. I love the people behind the blogs 😉

    And Daniel Tosh. Always and forever. The end.

  4. P.S. I am impressed with your fortune cookies, but have to admit that when it comes to food with predictions, I prefer Dove Promises. A couple times a day.

  5. I reiterate Rachel on loving snarky bloggers who link to me in their posts. 🙂 [And for feeling constantly like we’re on the same wavelength…]

    I love lychees, coffee, 2% Greek yogurt, flip-flops, lazy lunches on Sunday afternoons (outside! in the sun!), Valentines from students…

  6. ok coolest recipe I have seen in a while! i had no idea they were so simple to make! (and by taht I mean they look simple but when I try to make them I bet I screw them up somehow!)

    thank you for your sweet comment on my blog! xoxox

  7. I want to be your guinea pig! You can feed me any of your recipes! Well, the gluten free ones. hehe. I love blogs because of the community, the support, and of course the daily entertainment. Whether it be a laugh, a cry, or something I learned.
    Happy Valentines day!

  8. I’m so impressed with many aspects of this post- the fact that you can read that many blogs, the fact that you made fortune cookies from scratch, the fact that you linked little Ellie’s blog (thank yoU!), the fact that you made up all those hilarious fortunes that made me scream with laughter! I love this post!!

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