Valentine’s Day: these two words alone evoke an array of emotions. From delight to disdain, simply mentioning the holiday often brings an immediate change of mood. What is it about Valentines day? After all, its the day when love and affection are supposed to be celebrated! And yet, it seems to generate such passion and revulsion all at the same time.
So now that Valentines day (and also, my first day of jury duty) is a few days away, I thought I’d write about stuff I love until Valentines day.
Don’t worry, it won’t be boring. Promise…kind of….
So to kick off the “stuff I love series”, I’m actually gonna start today with stuff I love to hate. Because lets face it, I people definely love to hate Valentines Day!
Without further ado…..
John Mayer: I dont know why, but everyone seems to love to hate John Mayer. And I’m unapologetically one of them! hated him from the moment I heard that song he became famous for, “Your Body is a Wonderland.” I think it’s supposed to be an ode to sensuousness, with lyrics like “I’ll never let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it.” Blech. Listen, let’s just have sex, okay? Call me insensitive but that mushy-smoochy stuff makes me cringe. And you know that song, “Daughters”? “Fathers, be good to your daughters. Daughters will love like you do. Girls become lovers, who turn into mothers, so mothers, be good to your daughters, too.” In other words, everyone, should try to be better parents, so it’ll be easier for John Mayer to get laid twenty-three years in the future. Because it’s all about you, John Mayer. It’s all about you wanting to chew on someone’s daughters’ tongue. Ok, rant over.
Women’s “health” Magazines: with headlines like “The One Diet Secret That’s Keeping You Fat.There seems to be a different secret every month; all versions of “you’re eating too much and exercising too little.” Or giving headlines like this: ““Get Rid of Clutter and Get Control of Your Life!” Hmmm lets start by trashing this stupid magazine.
Aunt “Flo”: I think all girls realized the advantages of using our menstrual cycles as a scapegoat for just about anything at some point in their lives. Yep, I think both women AND men love to hate it. Just ate an entire Costco-sized bag of Kettle Chips? Have a strong desire to karate chop that annoying co-worker? Tears forming upon the realization that some model is dating James Franco? IT MUST BE PMS!!! And of course, by no means is it acceptable for men to accuse us of being on or cycle. The next time I hear someone tell me, “Wow, you must be on your period,” I will make him bleed. Or not. Sorry, I must be PMS-ing.
“The Hills”: I love California, I really do. But I think this show makes everyone feel like they’d wish California would just slide into the ocean. Its like the “Truman Show”, only awful! I think I speak for many when I say I just love to hate these whiny, babbling jet-setting, air-headed cast of calorie deprived trust-fund baby friends. I know, I’m putting it nicely.
What are things YOU love to hate? Come on don’t be shy!
What I love NOT to hate are some waffles! I recently saw Susan’s attempts at making a vegan waffle, and not being vegan myself, I’ve never actually tried to make one. But I’m glad to say I think I’ve figured it out!
- 1 cup all purpose flour (for a gluten free version try 1/2 c brown rice and 1/2 c coconut flour)
- 2 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1 tsp cinnamon
- 1 cup soy/almond/coconut milk (or the cow kind if you dont care about the vegan aspect)
- 1/2 cup apple or pear sauce (trader joe’s maked a fabulous unsweetened pear sauce which I used!)
- 1 tbs canola oil
Blend all ingredients together in blender. Preheat waffle iron and pour batter from blender onto hot waffle iron, and cook according to directions. I dont even miss the eggs, all this needs is some butter on top…..(tee hee)