I don’t know if you remember the very old show on VH1 from the late nineties, “Where are they now?”. This show basically checked up on either forgotten or washed up celebrities.
I am in no mood to regurgitate a heartfelt post, so I’m just gonna do my own version of “Where are they now”:
The Juliette Girl Scout cookie: Juliettes were supposedly named after the Girl Scouts’ founder, Juliette Low. They contained milk chocolate, caramel, and pecans, and they developed a wide fan base during their run from the 1980s to the mid-’90s (ehem, me!). But the troops retired them. Where are they now? In history books I suppose but I’m begging, pleading the girl scouts bring them back!
Myspace: remember that!? This generation has no clue what myspace is, but the kindergartners I teach are already all over facebook and twitter. Anyhow I was really curious what happened to myspace, so I googled it and apparently its still alive but got a major face lift. Its not the myspace I recognize from my high school days. Anyhow, what I think happened is that myspace got old and facebook was new and cool. Myspace started to get too complex, ads were really annoying, and everything was hard to find. Myspace also sounds a little egotistical. As if you are entitled to space, its MINE! Facebook is a little more friendly, they don’t even have a “dislike” button.
Zack Morris (from Saved by the Bell): When Zack was in high school (he got douchey in the “college years” episodes), I had a big crush on Zack Morris. We all know what happened to Mario Lopez (eye roll….). Screech made a sex tape, Jessie did that stripper movie, and Kelly played a bad girl on 90210 and according to Us weekly, had a baby a few months ago. Anyhow, I’ve always wondered what happend to Zach??? More specifically I guess, what happened to Mark-Paul Gosselaar. Well, he did a few “C” movies had a gig at NYPD Blue, and now is still looking for work. He’s 38, has two kids, and married some actress that was on Saved by the Bell: the College Years. 13 year old would be very upset at this news. His life sounds really exciting compared to Mario Lopez.
Tamagotchis: Remember those?! It was a handheld digital pet created in 1996 in Japan. It was housed in a small and simple egg-shaped computer. Three buttons (A, B, and C) allowed the user to select and perform an activity, including:Feeding the Tamagotchi a piece of food or a snack, playing games with the Tamagotchi, cleaning up a Tamagotchi’s waste, as well as checking its age, discipline, hunger, weight, happiness and other stat levels. I have NO CLUE why I wanted one! Its worse than having an actual pet because it doesn’t even show you affection and it not fuzy! Maybe this is why I don’t want kids, I grew up in the tamagotchi era. Anyhow, where are they now?They are still around. The new versions can connect with each other and the PC. And of course there are the millions of different spin offs that can connect to your TV and even a Wii. I’m still confused as too why kids would like to pick up digital “waste”.
Koala Yummies: In an age before extensive concerns over high-fructose corn syrup, trans-fats, and preservatives, children were once allowed to consume nutrition-free overprocessed food without the now-requisite wealth of parental concern and intervention. No one seemed particularly concerned over whether these cookies were organically produced or if the company opted to use free-range koalas.
Koala Yummies were one of those magical foods that contained absolutely no natural ingredients. There was something particularly satisfying about biting into a cookie with the knowledge that each component of the fantastic taste sensations on your tongue were developed in a lab specifically for your snacking enjoyment. Just imagine, these little guys were created specifically with your unnatural cravings for artificial sweeteners in mind! For any of you not fortunate enough to remember the fine blend of sweet tastes that made up these confections, allow me to paint a picture for you.
Outside: Pure crispy hollow cookie deliciousness all dolled up in the best koala finery a cheap Asian food production company can buy. These yummies had personality: some of them played some sort of ukulele, some ate plates of cookies, and others yet indulged in deep fits of hysterical emotion.
Inside: We didn’t want to let our parents in on this little secret, but the inside was a Halloween-rivaling level of sweet candy ecstasy. While technically these goodies could contain chocolate, vanilla, or strawberry centers, but everyone knew the chocolate ones were truly the epitome of Koala Yumminess.
Anyhow, where are they now??? Well, I’ve spotted some at asian grocery stores and on amazon so they aren’t completely extinct. As with the also extinct, Dunkaroos, 90s children (ie, ME!) have been experiencing extreme symptoms of Koala Yummy withdrawal since they were pulled from mainstream American markets. O and those “Hello Panada” imitations just don’t cut it. I mean, who wants to eat a panda! An online asian grocer describes it as a “Chocolate cream filled biscuits that are surprisingly tasty with no oily after taste. Go ahead, try these finger sized biscuits. You wont be disappointed. Excellent for kids school time snack pack.” Surprisingly tasty? Finger-sized? No thank you.
Is there any person/thing you are wondering what happened too? Do you miss it? Are you glad its gone?