Are you into horoscopes? If you are, boy do I have some disappointing news:
You are most likely not the sign you think you are. Yep, I don’t know who decides these things, but apparently due to the moon’s gravitational pull, the age-old constellations corresponding to a person’s birthday may be off by about a month. As if this wasn’t confusing enough, there was also talk about adding a 13th to the mix — Ophiuchus, which would span Nov. 29 – Dec. 17, leaving poor Scorpio with only a tiny, six-day window (Nov. 23 – Nov. 29).
Now, I’m not one of those die hard astrology fanatics, asking everyone I meet for their sign and then checking my compatibility with them. But after hearing this news, I was pissed! This is the dialogue that went in me head:
“What the eff? You mean I’m a virgo now? Not a Libra? But I’m totally a Libra!”
As you can see I was having a little identity crisis. Indeed, its weird when you’ve been looking up the same horoscope for so long, and then all of a sudden look up a different one. And to some degree, I think when we read horoscopes, we mold our mind to believe it. Its kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps all those years reading that Libras are indecisive yet creative led me to actually be indecisive!
Its strange how we deal with our identity. This new horoscope news got me thinking about my own little identity crisis. You see, I think ever since I was a walking talking eating disorder for most of my life. Of course I didn’t want to have this as part of my identity. Who does? But when it came time to buck up and try to recover, I realized I was gonna need to let go of that part of my identity. Its strange, but I truly didn’t know what I was without my eating disorder! Who the hell was I?
When someone asked me what I liked to do, I’d answer, “eat and exercise”. (I know, what I bore I must have been!)
I felt like I was a shell, and even more empty without actively engaging in my ED. My therapist kept telling me to try different hobbies; to see if anything sparked my interest. The one rule was that it couldn’t involve eating or exercising. I tried knitting, drawing, read suspense novels. But nothing made me happy, at least no like the way my ED did.
I remember I used to blog, before I went into treatment. Granted it was about food, but it kept me engaged and happy. That’s really when I started Eden’s Eats. To develop that hallow identity.
After a few months, I realized after reading my posts and the comments, that infact I was many things other than a disordered individual. I was creative, somewhat funny, engaging, I love kabocha but loath green monsters and oats in jars (unless its giant Costco sized jars). I think this realization that I no longer am trying to solve my identity crisis occurred after the foodbuzz festival. I realized what made me stand out from the other bloggers.
Is my ED still part of my identity? Absolutely. It will always be, even if that scar fades a lot. However it is not my whole identity, and I no longer feel like a shell.
Nope, I’m Libra. Suck it new horoscope!
So, how are you feeling as the new astrological sign that you probably are? Have you ever had a hard time giving up an identity you wanted to let go of?
I bought some ground beef from the farmers market yesterday for my clients, so I made hamburger buns to go along with the burgers! These are nothing like the doughy ones you’ll find in most fast food restuarants. These resemble those flat “100 calorie” ones all the blogger seem to eat. However, I don’t know how many calories these have, and I kind of dont want to know….
Anyhow, you will need:
- 1 cup milk
- 1/2 cup water
- 1/4 cup butter
- 4 1/2 cups flour (I used half whole wheat and for a gluten free version, try a mix of tapioca flour and rice flour)
- 1 (.25 ounce) package instant yeast
- 2 tablespoons white sugar
- 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
- 1 egg
- Black sesame seeds for the tops
- In a small saucepan, heat milk, water and butter until very warm, 120 degrees F (50 degrees C).
- In a large bowl, mix together 1 3/4 cup flour, yeast, sugar and salt. Mix milk mixture into flour mixture, and then mix in egg. Stir in the remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time, beating well after each addition. When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes. Or if you have a stand mixer, attach the hook and let her rip for about five min. The put it in a greased bowl and let it rise or about in hour. It should double in size!
- Divide dough into 8 equal pieces. Shape into smooth balls, and place on a greased baking sheet. Flatten slightly. Cover, and let rise for 30 to 35 minutes.
- Brush with an egg wash or butter and sprinkle sesame seeds(I used black ones) and salt. Bake at 400 degrees F (200 degrees C) for 10 to 12 minutes, or until golden brown.