Homemade Sandwich “Thins” and Zodiac Identity Crisis

Are you into horoscopes? If you are, boy do I have some disappointing news:

You are most likely not the sign you think you are. Yep, I don’t know who decides these things, but apparently due to the moon’s gravitational pull, the age-old constellations corresponding to a person’s birthday may be off by about a month. As if this wasn’t confusing enough, there was also talk about adding a 13th to the mix — Ophiuchus, which would span Nov. 29 – Dec. 17, leaving poor Scorpio with only a tiny, six-day window (Nov. 23 – Nov. 29).

Now, I’m not one of those die hard astrology fanatics, asking everyone I meet for their sign and then checking my compatibility with them. But after hearing this news, I was pissed! This is the dialogue that went in me head:

“What the eff? You mean I’m a virgo now? Not a Libra? But I’m totally a Libra!”

As you can see I was having a little identity crisis. Indeed, its weird when you’ve been looking up the same horoscope for so long, and then all of a sudden look up a different one. And to some degree, I think when we read horoscopes, we mold our mind to believe it. Its kind of like a self fulfilling prophecy. Perhaps all those years reading that Libras are indecisive yet creative led me to actually be indecisive!

Its strange how we deal with our identity. This new horoscope news got me thinking about my own little identity crisis. You see, I think ever since I was a walking talking eating disorder for most of my life. Of course I didn’t want to have this as part of my identity. Who does? But when it came time to buck up and try to recover, I realized I was gonna need to let go of that part of my identity. Its strange, but I truly didn’t know what I was without my eating disorder! Who the hell was I?

When someone asked me what I liked to do, I’d answer, “eat and exercise”. (I know, what I bore I must have been!)

I felt like I was a shell, and even more empty without actively engaging in my ED. My therapist kept telling me to try different hobbies; to see if anything sparked my interest. The one rule was that it couldn’t involve eating or exercising. I tried knitting, drawing, read suspense novels. But nothing made me happy, at least no like the way my ED did.

I remember I used to blog, before I went into treatment. Granted it was about food, but it kept me engaged and happy. That’s really when I started Eden’s Eats. To develop that hallow identity.

After a few months, I realized after reading my posts and the comments, that infact I was many things other than a disordered individual. I was creative, somewhat funny, engaging, I love kabocha but loath green monsters and oats in jars (unless its giant Costco sized jars). I think this realization that I no longer am trying to solve my identity crisis occurred after the foodbuzz festival. I realized what made me stand out from the other bloggers.

Is my ED still part of my identity? Absolutely. It will always be, even if that scar fades a lot. However it is not my whole identity, and I no longer feel like a shell.

Nope, I’m Libra. Suck it new horoscope!

So, how are you feeling as the new astrological sign that you probably are? Have you ever had a hard time giving up an identity you wanted to let go of?

I bought some ground beef from the farmers market yesterday for my clients, so I made hamburger buns to go along with the burgers! These are nothing like the doughy ones you’ll find in most fast food restuarants. These resemble those flat “100 calorie” ones all the blogger seem to eat. However, I don’t know how many calories these have, and I kind of dont want to know….

Anyhow, you will need:

  • 1 cup milk
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 4 1/2 cups flour (I used half whole wheat and for a gluten free version, try a mix of tapioca flour and rice flour)
  • 1 (.25 ounce) package instant yeast
  • 2 tablespoons white sugar
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 egg
  • Black sesame seeds for the tops
  1. In a small saucepan, heat milk, water and butter until very warm, 120 degrees F (50 degrees C).
  2. In a large bowl, mix together 1 3/4 cup flour, yeast, sugar and salt. Mix milk mixture into flour mixture, and then mix in egg. Stir in the remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time, beating well after each addition. When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes. Or if you have a stand mixer, attach the hook and let her rip for about five min. The put it in a greased bowl and let it rise or about in hour. It should double in size!

    And.....it will be extra squishy!!!

  3. Divide dough into 8 equal pieces. Shape into smooth balls, and place on a greased baking sheet. Flatten slightly. Cover, and let rise for 30 to 35 minutes.

    Rise and shine!

     

  4. Brush with an egg wash or butter and sprinkle sesame seeds(I used black ones) and salt. Bake at 400 degrees F (200 degrees C) for 10 to 12 minutes, or until golden brown.
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32 thoughts on “Homemade Sandwich “Thins” and Zodiac Identity Crisis

  1. I don’t care what anyone says- I’m a sagittarean for life! I’m also a cusp/solstice, so I’ve got a WHOLE astrological identity to defend here… nobody better try to take that away, or I’ll use my mad archery skillz.

    Astrology interlopers? You’ve been WARNED…

  2. I think it is so silly to change something that has been set for so long. Why mess with people. Some do take their horoscopes seriously. And I am definitely more Virgo that Leo.
    Those sandwich thins look amazing. Once I get over the new bread company I have fallen in love with, I may make my own bread again. We shall see!

  3. Oh, boo hoo…so I’m not a Scorpio? I’m born October 28th. Hm, what am I then? honestly, too lazy to even google that. lol.

    Girl. I know EXACTLY who you are. A macaron. Don’t you ever forget that, missy! 😉

    Speaking of Costco, have you gone yet?

  4. Never been into astrology.

    I can relate to finding identity in disorders. While, I’ve never had a eating disorder I did have Borderline Personality Disorder in my early 20s. When I started getting serious about healing and in therapy, there was a part of me that was afraid to let go of my disorder. Who would I be if I wasn’t “the crazy girl with issues”? As it turned out, I ended up liking the girl I discovered under the disorder much more.

  5. THANK YOU!!! I was looking for a good GF sandwich bread thingy. Eden, your creations are awesome.
    ANd the zodiac sign…..well, I am sticking to being a Leo because I like Lions. I’m not a cancer, thats not me. Or maybe it really is?? We’ll never know.. sheesh!

  6. i’m also feeling a little betrayed by my sign switch!! not that i ever took it all that seriously, but every time in my life that i have come across a horoscope i have of course read whatever it says for cancer and inevitably over time drew connection to it (imaginative and sensitive). now i’m a gemini, which i’ve always perceived as demonic because of the twins thing (split personality? not what i need!). of course now that i’m reading the gemini thing and it says they have an ability to change mood from moment to moment i agree i’m probably that. haha i think this change is super unwise of astrologists to make because now i’m even more skeptical of it all – realizing that whatever sign i read and think of as my own will become that way, just like what you were saying! silly.

  7. I was pissed when I found out about the horiscope change too. I was like..”nope (shaking head) nu-uh, not changin.” So, I don’t really know what to make of all that. I’ve always been a Pisces and like that sign damn it! Thinking of being a different one seems too weird.

  8. you know what cracks me up about all this shiteous 100 cal snacks/thins etc. first of all, i don’t buy things with a box (what the heck is in those products?! i am admittedly a pretentious whole food eater of veggies, meats, fruits, nuts/seeds). secondly, the avg woman 5’4 128lb in 1960 vs 5’4 157lb at present. i do not think the women in the 60s were buying 100 cal packs or south beach bars or low cal/fat free etc. they weren’t thinking so hard about it!

    they were cooking with real food and being sated by real ingredients: carbs, proteins AND fats. and most probably stopped eating when they felt full because they weren’t so deprived like most of the bloggers i see posting stuff today. if i see one more pb2, protein ice cream, faux meat + sandwich thin or fat free dressing i might vom. whew. sorry about the epic rant, it’s just been on my mind lately. that paired with the ridiculous notion that you must cardio 5x weekly to eat that huge bowl of oats. meh. i’m lazy, hate cardio and would rather be doing yoga or shopping anyday 😉

  9. I was a little put off by the astrological sign change too, and I don’t even read horoscopes! I may sound like a nerd here, but I think it has a little to do with “mere ownership effect”, a psychological theory that we become attached to (and mourn) things, ideas, and symbols that we believe to be ours. I’m kind of mourning my old Sagittarius sign right now!

  10. I’m a Libra gone Virgo too! Oct.17th! I was kind of pissed, and even though I think the whole thing is a load of hoopla I kind of feel like I’ve become more Virgo over the years- as in more of a control freak. Need to get back to my Libra ways.

  11. I’m a dork, so of course, I already looked this up on horoscope.com and astrology.com. “They” said that it really wouldn’t effect there website, and would continue to offer the original dates for horoscopes. I like looking up my horoscope sometimes, and I use to really be into it, but now I don’t take it that seriously. I mean, humans are so complex and no one can be summed up by their astrological sign.

  12. i’m a half believer in astrology. i don’t reaaaally believe it but i think its fun and i like to read it and the identity crisis doesn’t effect me and my taurusness haha so i think i’m fine with it but deej on the other hand is upset “shes not an aries anymoooore” as she whined the other night. i’m like “ma you don’t even do the horoscope thing” shes like yeah but still i liked being an aries haha

  13. Not gonna lie. I was super traumatized when I discovered that I am no longer a pisces. And am now an aquarius. I went through all of the stages of grief. And then backtracked back to denial. I refuse to believe it.

    I totally know what you mean about trying to find your identity. For me for so long, it was running. Then I got injured. And I felt like my entire essence had been taken away from me. But now I’m realizing that I am more than just someone who can run for 10 miles at a stretch. And it’s a nice feeling.

  14. I have heard about the changes but have not looked to see how I am affected, haha. I guess I am just scared because I like being a Taurus and do not want to change, so I have not done any researching yet. But yes identity crisis is something I think about from time to time, trying to figure out who I really am and what do I really want to do, haha
    Oh the things I think about – I can really over think things.

  15. The new horoscope told me I’m not a Gemini anymore… I got pissed and stormed around and the hubs walked In and said “no worries Hun you and all your personalities are still Gemini” I probably would have killed him if I wasn’t laughing so hard! Apparently when he heard about this he said to his boss (he was at work) joy’s gonna be pissed she hates change!

  16. I’m a libra too! And I always will be.. no matter what the media tells me 😛 So there!

    I remember being in that awful disordered state and not knowing anything about myself. It’s just awful, and I would never want to go back. I’m not saying I don’t still have things to work on… but I definitely see how much better things are when I have a legitimate personality 😉

  17. I went from Scorpio to Virgo. Kinda ticked I didn’t at least get one with a cool animal, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually read a horoscope in my life, so I’m not expecting a big life overhaul over this. Does strike me as funny that a lot of people with Zodiac tattoos will now have the “wrong” symbol etched on their bodies…

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