Suggestions for Holiday Eating

Lets face it, the holidays are the time of year where many blogs dispense their favorite holiday treats and what they do to avoid gaining weight because of them. Its sad that we don’t give ourselves an actual holiday from strict exercise and diet rules. Anyhow, I’ve read and heard some pretty ridiculous advice that I though I’d share and give my little rebuttal.
Stupid Suggestion #1: Avoid Booze with all costs during the holidays

My roommate and a friend of mine, keeping it realistic and not skimping on booze at our holiday party last year

Telling people to avoid alcohol at a holiday party is like telling women inside of Nordstrom to avoid the shoe department. Ain’t gonna happen.
Stupid Suggestion #2: Chew Gum to Avoid Eating Too Much.

I chew between meals (look closely, Im chewing gum in this photo), not during meals, and aint that dog adorable? its not mine, i wish it was though

Chew gum at a holiday party? You want to look classy and glamorous at a holiday party not like Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny.

 

Stupid Suggestion #3: Look Up Calories Before You Eat.

My holiday spread last year, i made it all calorie free so no need to calculate 😉

 

At your holiday party when you whip out your smart phone and say to the hostess, “Um, wait a minute, I need to look up how many calories are in that bacon-wrapped scallop.”
 

Stupid Suggestion #4: When baking holiday treats such as cookies, light a green apple scented candle which can reduce your appetite.
Forget the green apple candle, (Does anyone even own that fragrance?) or any candle, for that matter. How often do you get to enjoy the aroma of spicy cloves and sweet vanilla bean? Have some faith in yourself. You can bake and smell cookies without eating an entire tray. Right? If not, then employ Stupid Suggestion #2. I prefer wintergreen or peppermint.
Stupid Suggestion #5: Take a purse, notebook, framed photo, business card holder, or some unobtrusive item that is too large for your pockets, so that one hand will remain occupied during most of the party – you will only have one hand free to hold a drink or shake hands of people you meet.

my roommate, her object of choice for this tip i guess. Can you imagine a tray being passed at a party and saying "Oh, not thanks, I need to hold this purse/picture frame/bowling ball"

Even though culinary school has groomed me to be an excellent multitasker, I somehow can’t carry on a conversation holding a framed photo in my hand at a dinner party. Please, I think you’ll not only look a little confused, hypochondriacs will hate you for your insistence on hand shaking.
Stupid Suggestion #6 :Talk, don’t chew: Remember, conversation is calorie-free!

Chatter is nice, too much is suicidal (but it was nice at my party, not to much, not too little, its cause the food was pretty awesome)

Yes, calorie free, but a chatterbox. Punching you in the face for blabbing too much is also calorie free and might even burn a quarter of a calorie if you put some energy into that punch.
I know, I haven’t done a recipe in a few days. Maybe I’ll churn one out tomorrow. Its been a nightmare with my dad’s med lately because the pharmacies keep  messing up pills and that’s no good. My dad can’t drive either so I need to “hold the fort” up, so to speak. We still don’t know whats going on with his bodily pain but we hope to find out soon. Once again, I cannot thank you guys enough for the wonderful support you’ve all given me.

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26 thoughts on “Suggestions for Holiday Eating

  1. Hahaha! Where did you get these ridiculous suggestions? For god’s sake, I say there is only one rule to holiday eating: Eat. Enjoy. Digest. Poop. Repeat.

    There!

  2. I have to think that people that write articles like this are not necessarily the people I would want to invite to my holiday party… god forbid I break one of the “rules.”

    I had to stop reading magazines like “self” and “health” because I was feeling like they just recycled the same inane tips for people who had nothing better to do than obsess about trivial crap all day. Which is too bad, because now I have no idea how to strength train, since I can’t tolerate the mags!
    argh.

  3. Those suggestions are truly stupid. And I have actually seen some of them. Why don’t you just go to a holidya party and enjoy it? Clealry if you are too focused on gaining weight at a party, you have more deep seeded issues than you think. Food isn’t going to magically make you enormous. Even if it is “dangerous” holiday food. I love you, Eden. Yes, I a meven reading your posts while in Vegas.

  4. Haha! I totally agree… people seem to go frantic when they hear the word ‘holiday’. As if the are going to gain five pounds just by showing up to the party. I actually read somewhere that people are so scared of gaining weight over the holidays that they end up eating way less at parties.
    Thanks for the humour, as always 🙂

  5. I always think that the holiday diet tips are so ridiculous this time of year. And anyone who actually follows through with them is crazy. My plan is to eat until I’m 4/5 full. And then an hour later, if I’m still hungry…eat some more. LOL. Loved your response to these though. You had me cracking UP!

  6. LOL – this is great!!! Holding a framed photo???? Can you just imagine being photographed standing there holding a frame? And don’t you need booze to get through the holidays 😉 I am sooo with you on the candle thing. My fave candle smells are the baked goods kind so why go mess that up.

  7. Hahaha! I’ve never heard of 4 or 5, but all of these are pretty ludicrous. I vote that no matter what time of the year it is, these are rules to avoid.

    For some reason, now I’m imagining a woman at a Christmas part carrying around a lit apple-scented candle from room to room as she mixes and mingles. Hilarious!

  8. Have to agree with you on all of these. Once I get to a party I highly enjoy having a drink in hand and a taste of all the treats available. I get tired of talking pretty quickly so eating is a priority as well as a pleasure 🙂

  9. I don’t really have many strict exercise and fitness rules ESPECIALLY during the holidays. The only thing I don’t do is eat refined sugar but I don’t do that anytime during the year.

  10. Have you thought about doing a “pet peeves in the kitchen” post? From a professional standpoint? I know there are technically no “wrongs” in the kitchen, but from a learned perspectives, what are the top 10 tips you could provide?
    XOXO
    Barbara

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