Don’t hate me, but I’ve been a little off my blog reading circuit. Mainly, its hard to read about peoples fun life when I feel mine is in a hellish limbo. But I suppose the upside to this is that I’ve been more interested in current events and news. And what did I dig up???
Fine dining calorie counting.
We all know calorie counting manifests beyond the obsessive minds of those struggleing with eating disorders. There are hundreds of websites, gadgets, books, and programs dedicated to calorie counting. And call me crazy, but way back, say in the 1950’s or 60’s when there was no nutrition facts on foods, people were slimmer. Hmm….could labels and calorie counting make us “fat”?
Restaurants are now beginning to display calorie counts. And i’m not talking just Dunkin Doughnut and Subway. Fine dining, fancy shmancy places. Although this may not be a terrible thing, somehow, knowing a delcious gourmet cookie or whatever has X number of calories takes away the pleasure of going out to get a cookie in the first place.
And what more, we tend to have a nervous meltdown when we find out a calorie count is off. I have yet to share this in the “share your story section”, but when I was pretty deep into my own issues, I bought a regular root beer and drank it (thinking it was diet) and flipped out when I went to toss the bottle to find out it was regular.
So here is my proposal: rather than bashing us over the head with numbers, the healthy-living Reich needs to employ more creative means. This is what I came up with:
-Hooking every chair in every restaurant up to a weighing machine. Having instantly gauged how disgusting you are, a computer prints out a menu with the most gluttonous items removed.
– Lets save some tip money and do away with the waiters entirely, and replace them with a food pipe. You sit down on the weighing chair and shove the pipe down your gullet, and a nutritionally balanced river of mulch is pumped directly into your stomach from a giant processing unit in the kitchen. Lovely and economically friendly!
-Install funhouse mirrors specifically angled to reflect your own wobbly bits, bloated face, and your muffin top in the most unflattering angle as you shovel your dressing-less, naked salad into your piehole.
-Or maybe, lets just do away with food altogether?
Dont get me wrong, as some who has had to gain weight and now maintain it, its not like I dont care about calories. I’d be lying if I told you that. I care, but I’m not anal and I just have a general sense. But when I go out (which is rather rare anyhow) I want to enjoy myself having a number (other than the price). I already have a good sense of the how much calories are in things anyhow (not proud of this but its a sad byproduct of my ED days). So on the rare occasions I do got out somewhere swank, I’d like to eat without the “energetic value” of my food.
Anyhow, on to food. To be honest this kale dish was made my dad’s whole hemorrahge debacle started. I made it before I called him and found out he was disoriented and confused. Since I’ve been busy lately, I havent had the chance to whip up creative concotions, hence I dug this one out since it never got posted.
Anyhow, I actually don’t think I ever used kale before, but I thought I would give it a try with this recipe:
3 big kale leave bunches, stemmed and cut into large pieces
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar
Salt or real/imitation bacon bits
Set the kale in a colander, rinse well and chop through the bunches. Heat the oil in a large sauté pan set over medium-high heat until it ripples. Add the garlic and cook for 2 minutes (be careful not to burn, burnt garlic can be icky). Add the kale leaves.
Turn the heat to medium and cover. Braise until tender, 10 to 15
minutes. The water on the kale leaves should provide enough liquid
to braise them; however, check the kale occasionally and add more
water, or some sort of stock (veggie, chicken, beef, hell even “turducken” stock would probably do). Remove the lid, raise the high to heat, and cook off any excess liquid. Remove from the heat. Pour on the vinegar and toss well. Season to
taste. Serve immediately. You can add imitation bacon bits (I dont actually buy these but they were left over from a cooking class I taught. And lord knows, I’ll use up everything eventually. Cheap Jew I am indeed).