Hey there readers.
Its no surprise that I am sad lately. I find myself asking all sorts of questions that are rather depressing (so I won’t share them, but I’m sure you know what I mean). But if there is anything I’ve learned through my rough life its that there is no use wallowing and asking negative questions to which you don’t know the answers too.
Or better yet, those questions are simply not worthy of an answer right now.
So in an effort to make me feel slightly better, I thought I’d post some questions with worthy of my answer. (WARNING: sarcasm is my first language, if that pisses you off, go piss on yourself).
I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually, just like ipods and vita mixes. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap or better yet, take a Savasana!
Will swimming tone me up and get me long and lean?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me
If there was only one Papa Smurf and Smurfette is his daughter, where did all the other Smurfs come from?
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that smurfs may be really sick blue people. end.
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
I don’t think they should. More for me! But they can have all the gingerbread people, I dont like those anyhow!
Why doesn’t McDonald’s sell hot dogs?
Do u know how awkward it would be to go in an say ” i wanna mcweiner with extra everything!?!?!?”
How fast do hotcakes sell?
I don’t know, I don’t sell my hotcakes, but I’m assuming faster than coldcakes? Although thats silly, cold cakes dont have the risk of burning your tongue!
Why does toilet bowl cleaner come in blue?
What do Greeks say when they don’t understand something?
Why Does Pluto Live in a dog house, eat dog food, etc. but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in a condo and drives a car?
Two possible answers: 1) Pluto was demoted recently to a non-planet; perhaps that makes him less dog-entitled, also. 2) Walt Disney was on something.
Feel free to add your own questions/answers. Do you have some silly questions for me to answer? It will give me something to write on my next post (dont worry, there will still be some myth busting tomorrow)