I’ve decided to write thank you letters for this week in honor of thanksgiving. Some will be sarcastic, some will be heartfelt, and some will be plain silly. This will all lead up to a wonderful thanksgiving spread as I’m hosting thanksgiving at my dad’s house for, gasp, 20 people (this is a lot for me!). So to kick “thanks for giving letters week”, I’ve decided the first one should be to my favorite grocery store, Trader Joe’s.
Dear Trader Joe’s,
You have come a long way my friend. I love that you are an integral part of middle-class life. Mainly, because your too-narrow aisles are lined with bourgeois products at proletarian prices. Even if you prefer the quality or selection at a fancier store, once you know something like chèvre or rack of lamb is available for half the price at TJ’s, you feel foolish buying them elsewhere.
Lets talk about the prices. You make that inner frugal jew in me very happy. I often hear people say, “Wow, that was cheaper than I expected!” How often does that happen at Whole Foods?
And I’m very blessed and thankful you are so nearby me! I feel great remorse for people like Susan and Janetha that aren’t graced with your presence. But being a Los Angelino, I’m blessed with three Trader Joe’s within a mile from my apartment.
And lets just talk for a minute about “winky”. At our local Trader Joe’s, a small stuffed toy sheep named Winky is hidden somewhere on the shelves. This means kids are on a scavenger hunt and not crying and hindering my shopping experience. So a big thanks to “Winky”. When kids find Winky, they take him to the customer service desk for a prize before hiding him for the next pint-sized shopper. I have no clue what the prize is although I have found winky myself a few times, but I’m hoping its trader’s fleur de sel caramel sauce (see pic below), although that might be a wee bit too sophisticated for their tastes.
And thank you for not plaguing my tv with commercials! I can’t tell you how annoying those can be for local grocery stores! All you really have as far as advertising is the newsletter, the “Fearless Flyer,” that outlines new products, suggests recipes, and elicits more laughs than the Sunday paper’s comics pages.
And for some straight forward thanks, thank you for:
cheap greek yogurt
your BBQ popped potato chips
your spicy ranchero egg white salad
your frozen brown rice
your almond butter
and last but not least, you chocolate covered peppermint JoeJoes that only seem to pop up once a year for about a week. But I will pounce on them that week and let the orgasim in my mouth begin!
Yes, your parking lots suck some serious butt. I’m often gauranteed NOT to find every single thing on my shopping list, and I simply cant live without chemicals available in major chain gorcery store (diet pepsi anyone?). You are sadly not a one-stop shopping solution. But all in all, thanks traders! You keep my wallet fat, most of your male workers provide nice eye candy, and my taste buds are satisfied. Just dont mock me if I bring “winky” in for a prize.
And for your viewing pleasure, the “unofficial Trader Joe’s commercial”: (watch the whole thing, trust me)
And to celebrate my giving thanks to Trader Joe’s, I thought I’d make a recipe made out of things recently purchased there. So why not walnut/pecan pesto? (where else can you buy walnuts for about five bucks a pound?)
you will need….
-handful of fresh basil
-2 tbs pecans
-garlic powder (or real garlic cloves if you’ve got them handy and are willing to have you fingernails repel vampires for a week)
-about 2 tbs parmesan cheese (or nutritional yeast for those vegans)
-about 1/4 cup or so of water (I like a little water to help it be more “saucy” but you can omit it if you like it chunky.