Brownie Dough Balls and my Mac Breakdown

Mac Daddy got sick today.

Mac Daddy is my laptop.

Me, not my cat, and Mac Daddy, in his early, healthy years....sigh

Mac Daddy is a MacBook Pro given to me out of the blue from my dad about a year and a half ago. It wasn’t my birthday, and I certainly didn’t get an award or cure cancer, but alas, he surprised me with it. Hence it was called, “Mac Daddy”.

I’m pretty sure he actually gave it to me so I could start blogging again. You see I had two blogs that I started about five years ago. I sort of abandoned them and I think my dad thought that although I may have been very sick while keeping them up, they certainly seemed to be the only thing in my life that brought me joy.

Anyhow, Mac Daddy means a lot to me, and I live in the stone age in that I dont have internet on my phone. So I took Mac Daddy to the doctor (aka a “genius” from the apple store) and looks like mac daddy might need a new mouse pad and perhaps a new hard drive.

Cry me a river.

Maybe it was because I was in the verge of tears that my Mac Daddy was sick, but for some reason, this whole trip to the apple store really made me wonder. For one, it was about 11 am and I found my self sitting in a “bar”. The “genius bar” which is just that.Β There are barstools and everything. Bad ass, right? The only missing links are lack of alcohol, which is pretty necessary after dealing with the bartenders, and the whole “social environment” thing that bars are supposed to represent.

Fortunately, I wasn’t hit on at the Genius Bar.

Might I add that not all of the Apple store employees are “Geniuses”, so I’ll briefly cover them here. These employees, I assume, are paid even less than their Genius counterparts. Their duties include restocking products, hovering around the store like ghosts, and occasionally engaging customers in conversation. Because like a doctor, I had to make an appointment to get my computer checked out, and just like at the doctor, I had to wait an eternity. So I made friends with these counterparts. They may be in high school, but they kept me more entertained than a “Woman’s Day Magazine” you find at the doctor’s.

So when my name is finally called (mispronounced! as always), a “Genius” checks Mac Daddy. So I’ve come to the conclusion these people are not geniuses. Genius should never even be a term to describe tech support. They may have been those emo tech geeks in high school with some retail experience.

Anyhow, dont ask me why or how, but all this frustration led me to feel fat. Poor Abby, I let it out to her in a stupid email ranting about how I feel chubby. You see, I’m not emaciated anymore, and thats a good thing, but there is a part of me that (I really hate to admit) misses it. I know, your probably gasping. Why would I want to look like how I used to? Why would I want to look like a concentration camp victim? Β I don’t really, but looking “healthy” always seemed to me that it was people’s way of telling me that I gained a few pounds. Its like when people tell you that you look tired. They mean you look like s***.

Somehow, little glitches in life like Mac Daddy being sick brings out “sick” thoughts and feelings within me.

So now I need to take my body image to a genius bar. Or does someone know of an app for that?

So for the sake of not being all negative and poopy, if you could create any sort of app, what would it be? I think I would like a “passive agressive” translator. It cuts the BS and tells you what people are REALLY saying.

Cookie dough balls seem to be all the rage in the blogosphere lately. Mama pea churned out a drool worthy version based on the ones everyone raved about at the foodbuzz festival. So I subject my monday afternoon desserts class to them. I decided to maybe veer towards the chocolate side, so they ended up being more like brownie dough balls. To make them you will need:

2 sticks margarine, softened
2 1/4 c flour (for a gluten free version, use rice flour)
1 1/2 tsp salt
1c packed brown sugar
1/2c cocoa powder
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 c of mashed slightly overripe banana (about two)
12 oz chocolate chips (usually one bag)

Combine flour, cocoa powder, and salt in a bowl; set aside. In a separate medium bowl, combine margarine, brown sugar, and vanilla; beat until creamyAdd mashed banana and beat until mixed. Gradually add flour mixture and beat until mixed. Add chocolate chips, stir until thoroughly dispersed. Scoop with a spoon and or ice cream scooper.

This make a lot of balls so do the whole batch if you feeling “ballsy”. If you want a smaller portion, just half the recipe. Balls away!


32 thoughts on “Brownie Dough Balls and my Mac Breakdown

  1. hahah.. “me, not my cat, and mac daddy” the not my cat part had me cracking up. sorry about the feeling fat day. you look awesome. your dough balls look good!

  2. I wish you could see what I see Eden because you are a knockout! You really are.

    The Apple Store intimidates me to no end. I send my nerdy techie husband on my behalf whenever my phone starts acting up because I simply cannot step foot in there!

  3. A bad day makes me feel disgusting too. And I really don’t take it well when people tell me I look like I’ve gained a few pounds. I instantly associate it with a bad thing, even though I know I shouldn’t. I would have an app that would turn my parents into real people that could talk about problems and admit that life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Oh and it would make them visit me, too! Turly, though, the coolest app would transport me to anywhere I want to go and I could visit you and everyone else I wanted to see!

  4. What is this obsession with balls nowadays?!

    Back to the serious topic: My dear girl. You know my number. Next time, text me, so that I can reassure you that you are gorgeous…and could still stand to gain a few pounds.

    Society is so f**king messed up. This is almost “normal” for women, actually. Feel stressed out? Blame the fat on your thighs. Blame the size of your arms and waist. Why, I don’t know…but it has almost been ingrained into our minds, almost a habitual emotion, really, to feel self-hatred and disgust when something goes out of our control.

    The thing is, it’s perfectly okay to feel frustrated. To feel angry when things go awry. Heavens, I would be a total bi-atch if anything happens to my dear macbook, though it is not cool enough to be a pro. But. Don’t blame yourself, don’t turn that moment of frustration into self-punishment. Be angry, vent a little, get some ice-cream, and then cool down.

    And life goes on. Nothing to do with your fat. πŸ™‚

  5. Oh, and forgot to answer: the app I want…is to tell me which item is the cheapest for value and weight and quality at which store within a 2-mile radius of my location (or online).

    And…an app for food bloggers that automatically rates a restaurant as “blogger-friendly” or not, aka: fun (non-“healthy”) creative menu, good lighting, NO kids.

  6. i hope mac daddy gets better soon! i always get really depressed when my computer(s) fail. and it happens at least once every six months.

    and brownie dough balls. they sound delightful. seriously delectable.

  7. So let me tell you this, I love your boobs in the picture! No I am not a lesbian or anything BUT i am a recovering anorexic who too has serious issues when it comes to how a body looks. And you look gorgeous. Now I have not really seen a picture of you recently where I could really see your body but I am very sure that you are no where near being fat. And the reason I find myself craving a thin body is cause I feel overwhelmed and just want to hide out in the skinny body where no one can see me. True! but is it also insanely depressing and lonely to be there. So i guess being ‘normal’ is still better πŸ˜‰
    sorry to hear about mac daddy! I am always talking to my vaio laptop so that I wont leave me in the near future! haha!
    have an AMAZING healthy day

  8. I’m sorry you had such a rough day! In college my mac flashed me its mac frowny face during finals and it was the most horrifying moment of my college career. 1 new hard drive later I vowed to always always back everything up…

  9. Sorry about Mac daddy 😦
    Stressful situations (aka, my life) also trigger too fat thoughts. And like you, I hate when people tell me “you look better, healthier now”. To me and for me it says I am fat. But realistically I know how bad I’ve seen others look (like the concentration camp victims) and how much better they look having gained some weight. But I can’t use that reasoning with me! It’s crazy and I know better, yet there’s a sick satisfaction in someone saying I’m too thin. Ugh it’s just so frustrating!! But thank goodness you have an Abby (or countless others) to vent to by text, email, smoke signal, etc..!! Many do not 😦
    I would like an app similar to yours in that in would tell if people are being real or not, sort of a BS meter on their character – there are way too many fakes who smile to your face and turn and run you down to everyone else.

    Loved your brownie balls recipe – I had noticed those Mama Pea balls are all the rage!

  10. You and your balls…
    Sorry if “healthy” has an unhealthy connotation for you, but deal with it, sister. You are gorgeous and don’t need anyone else to tell you that, although everyone just did. Plus, I am also jealous of your boobs, so zip it.

    Text, e-mail me or call me anytime–you know this. I will talk you off the ledge before pushing you over when you get annoying πŸ˜‰ I kid, I kid…anytime. I hope you have a better day today, as I know I turn into super bitch when there is any glitch with my computer. (Or when there isn’t, but you get my point.)

    I would like an authenticity app. While I’m not insecure most of the time, I get that way only because I doubt the authenticity of what people tell me. Half the time I feel like people just say what you want to hear when what I really want is just honesty. The “authenticity” app would also apply to food and movies, as I don’t want to spend money on something if it’s crap.

  11. My sister was anorexic for years. Though recovered now, she even mentioned the other day,

    “I was happiest when I could see my ribs”.

    When I asked her why, she said it was because she hated people saying that she gained some weight. She liked hearing, “Wow, you really slimmed up!” but hated feeling “fat” (even though she’s far from it). It’s definitely a mental battle! I know exactly how you feel.

    That being said, you are FAR from being chubby. You are beautiful, and healthy. Be proud πŸ™‚

  12. I’m with you on the passive agressive app!! I bet there’s one out there somewhere, ha!
    Anyway, I think we like to rescued at times and when attention is put on us due to health or ED or whatever, people reach out. In some sick way, we like that. We feel like the damsel in distress. Instead, we should focus on how far we’ve come to overcome these illnesses and how much stronger we are for it. Yes, my ramblings, but trust me, I’ve been there. As we get older, we get wiser and STRONGER! Thank GOD!!

  13. What is up with people saying you look tired anyways?? I mean, are they expressing concern or is that just a back handed compliment? Sorry, that’s one of my pet peeves :\ I need to take my body image to the Genius bar as well. I had a rough day working at the gym full of amazingly fit women all day. Thing is, no one really notices it but us. When I lost 30 lbs none of my friends noticed. It’s because they saw past all of that!! I see nothing but a beautiful Eden πŸ™‚

    Brownie balls. I like it. I need to get on this ball bandwagon.

  14. Migrated here from our mutual friend Tinna’s blog post πŸ™‚

    The idea of brownies in ball form intrigue me. I’m not much for dough though. Have you experimented with baking them into a ball, or do they sort of reform into a cookie shape? πŸ™‚

  15. Eden, silly girl, you are friggin hot. But I really do know what you mean. I feel the same way sometimes. I was never flat-out emaciated, but I was definitely too thin and bony.

    That said, egads, sorry about MacDaddy! My computer is my child and I would cry tears of blood if anything happened to him.

    Oh, so sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier, I’ve just been so busy getting caught up on schoolwork. Don’t worry at all about the Costco thing! Haha, as I was telling Sophia, I really do not need to be buying more stuff. But I really hope I get a chance to see you again before I leave! πŸ™‚

  16. I like how so many ppl mentioned your awesome boobs. hahaha. I couldn’t agree more– the women in my family (well, my mom and I), aren’t as endowed in that area πŸ˜›

  17. I think we could all use a genius bar for body image every once in awhile. Still, I think it’s pretty cool that you were able to just acknowledge the feelings rather than beat yourself up about it (or even worse – act on them *gasp*)
    I hope Mac Daddy gets all fixed up soon, and I hope the bill isn’t too insane. In the meantime, I’m glad you still have some sort of blogging access, because I would miss you way too much!

  18. PLEASE tell me you guys have tekserve in california.
    if not, i’m never leaving nyc.
    i pretty much never go to the apple store because is always SO CROWDED and they sometimes schedule you for appointments at like 3 in the morning cause they’re assholes like that and you’re right, they’re not really geniuses.
    i’ve been dying to make those mama pea balls. yours look great. hope the kids liked them! oh and yes id like an app that can “edenize” everything…or just put everything into funny sarcastic language.
    for myself, i’d probably make a “rose, are you sure you don’t have a lot of homework?” app. like an alarm clock to stop me from procrastinating. maybe it would guilt trip me enough so that i would stop blogging and start working…
    sorry for the novel of a comment

  19. Sorry, I’m a PC girl. Can’t relate to any of this i-madness. πŸ˜‰

    Being frustrated makes me feel “fat,” too. I don’t know why that is, except that maybe it’s just a control thing…

    ❀ ❀

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