I get down on my self a lot. I think I was born hating myself. Not good enough, just below average, ordinary.
In many ways, I developed an eating disorder to set myself apart. To make me unique, to make people notice me. Although perhaps on the exterior I really just wanted to wither away and be invisible. But inside, I was yelling for someone, anyone, to notice my pain, be my friend, and tell me I was good enough.
So many emotions came up for me the moment I registered at the festival. And even more the moment I saw all the bloggers on thursday night for dinner.
I didn’t even read 75 percent of the bloggers in attendance. Not only that, I am not popular. I’ve mentioned this before and I dont only mean that my blog is not popular, but I tend to not be popular. As Sophia said, I tell it like it is. I’m nice but I’m snarky, and that is never popular. I’m not “cool” and people don’t want to hang out with me to improve their reputations.
But after reviewing the numerous foodbuzz festival “recaps”, I realized I am pretty darn nifty. Those who didn’t get the chance to chat with me missed out big time. I’m different and I don’t need abs of steel or hundreds of commenters to prove my coolness. When Andy mentioned to me that I’m awesome (even though I thought he was half kidding) I really thought to myself, “hmm…good point Mr. Shrock”.
Honestly, I was so busy today that I didn’t get a chance to conjure up a recipe and witty post. So this declaration of pride is all I’ve got, take it or leave it.
Are you proud of you? Your blog? Your life? Heck even your guitar hero high score? I want to hear.