I did not have a good day.
Its not like I’ve been feeling especially depressed lately, but today was a big downer. The weather in LA matched (chilly, gloomy, muggy, polluted).
I’ve been doubting myself lately. Feeling like a failure. You see, I goofed up at my job yesterday and I feel like my track record with my boss has plumeted.
While I don’t love this particular teaching job (because I have to work for a company with a set curriclum and set recipes that are all kind of lame), I hate being told I didn’t do something right. Most of my life was centered about trying to be “right”. I thought I was eating “right”, exercising “right”, and failures and setbacks scarred me.
In the end when i found my self out of college, out of culinary school and in treatment, I felt like a failure. The most bizarre thing of all, is that I felt I even failed at my eating disorder.
I threw in the towel. I was sick of not eating all day, exercising all day, only to binge at night with all my “safe food”. It was all too tiring. I lost patience for it. I went into treatment thinking, “I’ve failed at try to be ‘normal’ and I feel like I eat so much compared to some of these girls, and DAMN do I hate being addictied to exercise. I can’t even be “good” at anorexia! I love food too much!”
I know, that’s a crazy thought, right?
So in the spirit of bouncing back, I thought I’d post some “bounce back” strategies. Mainly, I needed to remind myself of these:
Identify why you fell – Always be quick to do a “cause and effect” tally system.. Without realizing why you didn’t succeed or fell, you will fall again and wonder why you juts keep falling. For example, if your trying to quit smoking and had a puff after a stressful phone call, identify what triggered the need for a cig. Was it the call itself? Were you bored? Were you trying to win over the Marlborough man?
Do not become comfortable – Do not create a comfort zone in the area of failure. Always realize that you can actually succeed in that area too if you put all your effort and energy to be determined to succeed. Some people enjoy being identified as “the one who fell”, “the one who failed” and “the one we can’t follow”
Accept the Impossible: Try as you might, there are some situations where no matter what you do, you will fail. Thomas Edison was known for failing countless times in his quest to create a light bulb. Along the way, he discovered what wouldn’t work. There was nothing he could do to make an unsuccessful formula work, except go to his next idea. The next time your turn on a light, remember the invention was born out of failure
Let go of your attachment to a specific outcome. Work towards your goal of healing, achieving, or being — but be open to other paths! You’ll be surprised at how many roads to and forms of success exist. I also think when we truly succeed, we don’t realize it right away. Everyone I know that has fully overcome an addiction or disorder didnt wake up one day thinking, “O, I’m better now!”. Achieving goals look different, don’t get too attached to specific results.
Embrace what you have got: This is where my mom’s memory comes in. She had breast cancer for 13 years. All while giving birth and raising one little rascal (yes, me), having a career, being a wife, and having a ball while doing it. I should be thankful I have my health, my family, my friends (and blog friends). Sure, I may fail, but life could be worse. I better embrace what I’ve got going.
How do you handle failures/setbacks? Care to share some of your setbacks and how you pulled through?
I also have this tendency to bake when I’m stressed. So at least this produces something nice for the blog. For the savory rosemary scones, you will need:
-1 cup corn flour (I used Bob’s Red Mill, its super cheap!)
-1/2 cup milk (I used 2% but I’m sure soy or almond milk would be good)
-1 tbs flaxseed meal
-palmful of dried rosemary
-2 tbs of almond butter
-1/2 tsp baking powder
Like a lot of my recipes, I’m not a fan of getting utensils dirty. Mix all the ingredients with you hands and pat into greased baking sheet. Bake at 400 for about 30 minuets. Slice into triangles once they have cooled (its just easier and neater that way). Since they kind of taste like cornbread, I suggest you serve it up with some chili.