First off, thank you to all the kind commenters on my guest post. It was not easy to write and I was writing from the heart, so that being said, it was fairly blunt.
Speaking of blunt, I find most people are scared of it. Hence in comes the use of euphemisms. People use them to make something not sound as bad as it is. Essentially, its lying.
What I hated was when in group therapy in treatment, someone would downplay their symptoms and say, “I engaged”. “Engaged”???? I feel if you flat-out say it, “I stuck my head in a toilet after lunch”you give it less power and your one step closer to getting rid of the behavior. Its very secretive to use these euphemism. Or another favorite, “I restricted”. I feel like one should be specific in order to ensure eradication. Like, “I skipped lunch and snack, and ate a grape for dinner”…or something like that.
But I thought I’d give you a list of some funny euphemisms to cheer up your saturday:
-“Making the beast with two backs”: I learned this from ninth grade english. Its from Shakespeare’s Hamlet, a scandalous way to imply sex.
-reversal of fortune (bulimics out there, dont kill me): Euphemism for vomiting, e.g. “Oh no, Jake is having a reversal of fortune after that great shrimp dinner!”
-“Oh Pop Off!”:Very common and even more awkward euphemism used when movies are edited for television. Like in “Bridget Jone’s Diary”. Sad, so sad.
-“Do yourself a disservice”: Term for accidentally eliminating in one’s pants. E.g. “If you don’t stop laughing so hard after drinking all that Coke, you’re going to do yourself a disservice!”
-“Percussive maintenance”: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
-“A broken type writer cause I missed a period”: Rizzo’s line in “Grease” when she thinks she’s pregnant.
-“Under the table cleaning service”: a pet, but mostly likely a dog
-“The Wild Thing”: 1980’s euphemism for, um, fornication
-“Butt Burp”: my way of saying, farting! hey, we all do it!
Got any favorite euphemism to share?
For the tofu pesto you will need:
-1 block/package of silken tofu
-handful of fresh basil (dont use dried, you will be very sorry if you do)
-2 tbs or so of parm
-a drizzle of olive oil (I didn’t measure, but about “gulg” full)
-sea salt and pepper to taste
-Some extra water to thin it out a bit (not too much, maybe a quarter cup or so)
super simple. blend all those ingredients up! then pour into a hot pot of deep pan and add whatever you would like to coat the pesto with. I used tiger shrimp which cooks quickly in the pesto, but if you are adding raw meat, be sure you cook it before you heat it up with the pesto. I served it with some garlic bread english muffins (recipe for that tomorrow!).