Let’s face it, when celebs walk about sporting ripped arms and abs, we all get a little jealous. If not for the body part, for the fact they have the time to workout that much and the money for the trainer/chef/plastic surgeon.
I thought I would sound off on certain celebrities’ body parts:
Kelly Ripa’s Arms: I heard she she likes to go to a place called SoulCycle. She said that it’s “essentially yoga, weights, pilates dancing all on a bike.” I’ve never danced on a bike before, but it sounds like something that isn’t great if you’re interested in trying to have children. I bet her and Michelle Obama have some top secret bicep trainer. Don’t give my that “soul cycle” BS kelly!
Mike (the Situation) Sorrentino’s abs: Dear Mike, We are cold, chafed, and scared. We dont like being the intermediary between a drunk orange chick with too much makeup and tanning oil. We don’t like pimping out workout videos and we feel violated and overly exposed. We aren’t even THAT impressive! We are sick of tanning and “gym-ing” and we don’t know what laundry you do cause you never cover us up!
Sincerely, Your Abs
Britney Spears’ hair: I saw Joan Rivers discuss this and I agree with Joan (as I tend to do). I simply dont understand how a woman with so much money lets her hair become some sort of mop! Get a hairbrush!
Renee Zellweger’s….uh…everything: She visits my gym and although I’ve never seen her exercise, I KNOW that girl can put on weight. I miss the “Bridget Jones'” Renee. She looked alive. Now, shes tinier than me (which even with a slight weight restoration, I still remain to be a munchkin of sorts). Please, drink an ensure, or seven.
Blair Underwood’s….everything: I just love every body part of this man…thats all.
Megan Fox’s Tattoos: I guess technically NOT a body part, but they still irk me nonetheless. She has a silly tattoo of Marilyn Monroe. She’s said, ““I really admire Marilyn Monroe but I would never try to emulate her. I got the tattoo as a warning. It warns me not to let myself be treated so badly by the film industry so that it breaks me down.” REALLY? That’s the reason?! Ok, then I’m getting a tattoo of the Pillsbury dough boy because I admire his biscuits and to remind me I don’t want to let commercial mom’s press my belly button.
Any celeb body part you want to ramble about? Good or bad?
It was raining and actually cold today in LA! So I thought I would make some cool hot cocoa concoction! I have a pen pal that is actually the daughter of one of my dad’s friends from high school in Belgium. She lives there and last december when I went to visit my grandmother, we met up and she took me to a cute little cafe and introduced me to this awesome cocoa. It had malt malls sinking at the bottom and inspired today’s drink. I used:
-about two pints of whole milk (if you are doing a single serving, use however much you like)
-a box of whopper (I put five per cup)
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-Some mini marshmallows (about fiver per cup)
-about half a bag of 60% cocoa chocolate chips
Melt the chocolate chips in a pot until they all melt. Then pour the milk and vanilla and keep stirring until the milk heats up and incorporates with the chocolate. Add some marshmallows and let them melt in the hot milk so they melt a little bit to infuse some of their flavor. In a mug, place five whoppers or malt balls at the bottom before pouring the milk. Enjoy!
And don’t forget! I pick the winner for the giveaway of the sixth (my birthday)!