You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone.
We’ve had temps no higher than 80 degress all summer here in la. Now its 104.
I realized how the weather is something thats so humbling. With all the technology these days and our power to control cars, phone, computers, medicine, we still have not found a way to control mother nature. As it should be.
Chefs have serious control issues. Many have underlying OCD. My eating and exercise disorder was based on control. Lets look at the things not at my control:
My mom’s death
My family’s financial situation
My diseases I’ve gotten over the years
No wonder I turned to food and exercise to get some sort of sense of control. Not that being in control is a bad things. Its great and helpful in many respects. It promotes independence. Doctors BETTER be in control! I expect teachers to be in control of their students (lord know I suck at that!).
But we can’t be too in control. It gets dangerous. Its like driving with the hand breaks up. We need to learn how to surrender a little bit and let things be out of our control. I hate to say this with the heat I’m experiencing right now, but we need to “cool” it.
My dad I think always had a good grasp of control over me. He mostly let me do what I wanted, and let me suffer the consequences. Granted, I was never a rebel or got into serious trouble. Maybe because he wasn’t so controlling, at least physically. But I’m sure it killed him as he saw me wither away when I was very sick. I’m sure it killed him that his daughter was suffering, and it was out of his control.
This partly why I am ambivalent about having children. I am a control freak and although I’m way better now, I’m scarred my daughter will do what I did. I’m afraid she’ll kill herself slowly like I did, and that I won’t be able to stop it. Perhaps not having a child is my way of stopping it.
But I don’t know about the future. I may have children, and maybe by that time, I’ll let go of that fear, and I’ll let go of more those control issues I have.
I must say I do think I’ve lost some control since my sickest that I’m very proud of. I used to be a nazi of sorts with my food. Eating at specific times only, only specific things, never more or less than planned.
Now, I’m a lot more go with the flow….or go with the appetite. It scares me a little too, because sometimes I feel like my stomach is a bottomless pit. But it helps to make single serving recipes (like most of the ones I feature on this blog) and it helps to avoid costco
When do you feel like you are too in control? Where would you like to be able to loose a little? Maybe you lack control, where would like to be more in control.
Today in my kiddie desserts class, we made “dessert” quesdillas! Heres what we used
-large flour tortilla
-half a banana (or more if you really like bananas!)
-half a peach
-handful of mini marshmallows
-a tbs or so of peanut butter
Fill the tortilla with the sliced bananas, peaches, peanut butter, cinnamon, and marshmallows. Fold in half like a quesadilla and cook on a skillet until the marshmallows melted. Salsa not recommended.
A special opportunity for anyone in Los Angeles October 2 and 3rd and is somewhat new to yoga! Come to my teacher training course as we learn to teach beginners! You’ll get to be taught by moi for free and Yoga Work will hook you up with two free classes for your participation! email me if you can come!