I’m sure you have all had your share of awkward moments. Maybe not moments of fall off the face of the earth humiliations, but awkward ones.
I encounter many moments like these. For example, if I see someone from high school at a grocery store or something, it turns out something like this:
them: “hey Eden!”
me: “O, hi!”
them: “What are you doing here!?”
me: (ugh grocery shopping you dumb ass) “O you know, I’m low on food and I actually eat these days so I need to restock”
(then it gets awkward)……(awkward silence)
them: “soooo…..ughhhhh……what are you doing these days?”
me: “O you know…working a little, studying a little, getting through my quarter life crisis”
them: “so………you still living with you folks?”
me: “ugh, no. And it’s folk, remember, my mom died in eighth grade?” (then its really awkward…….so I ask) “What about you, where I you living these days?:
them: “umm…..at home”
(then they feel bad they are still living with their parents and they may begin to feel a little angry at me so they ask me…..)
them: “You look soooo……different!”
me: “yep, I gained some weight. Did I ever tell you I had an eating disorder throughout most of high school?”
(I proceed to piss them off in hopes they will want to end the conversation and go away)
them: “ugh really? I thought you were just skinny.”
me: “no, I was basically addicted to exercise and ate poorly. You didn’t think I was a natural waif, did you?”
them: “well…..ugh….I dunno…..but I guess that makes sense. Well…ugh…I gotta go…..my…ugh…..my ice cream is going to melt. Nice seeing you again…and ugh…keep up that eating streak your on!”
Phew, and it feels like it will never end! Sometimes, its good to use the depressing bits about your life to divert yourself from these social entrapment scenarios!
Ahh but wait! There are more weird encounters! Exhibit B, encounter with your friend’s baby:
My roommate from treatment got knocked up a few weeks after her release (talk about a recovery plan). When I saw her daughter for the first time nine months later, she proceeded to give me a big hug and literally handed me her baby. I felt like vaporizing into oblivion on the spot! Sure some babies are cute or whatever. But it’s not a puppy, and I feel way more secure holding a puppy! She thinks just because I smile at the sight of her and her newborn, that I want to hold it. O fuck no! What if I drop her? My arms suddenly feel phantom limbs! Wait, do I even have arms? She’s not even family so if I break it, she’ll definitely never speak to me again, she might even sue! Aghh!!!!! Why won’t its head stay up on its own? Why is it giving me such a confused face? Sensing my anxiety, the baby begins crying. Everyone gives me the stink eye because I’m making the baby cry no one will take it away from me. Nope, she just stands there and stares at me like I’m the must cruelest person in the world. I never said I was ready to be a mom and I dont where I sign “Let me hold your baby”.
Yep, I’m sure you’ve been caught in situations like this. They may be minor, like when I’m try to avoid a long conversation with someone and look at my wrist (sans watch) and say I’m late. Then it hits me that I indeed haven’t warn a watch since second grade and I feel like dumb ass.
NOTE TO SELF: start wearing a watch
Anyhow, on to today’s food bit:
I’ve been a little lentil and Kabocha obsessed lately. Its strange, I knew I’ve always liked them, but was never like, “OOO I gotta get me some!”. Its weird, after being fed more properly these past few years, I really think my palette has become so much more aware of how tasty simple foods can be! yay food!
Anyhow, I wanted something kind of different for lunch today so I made me some curried lentils. I used canned (which are perfectly fine and all they had was a little salt) but you can use any lentils you have as long as they are cooked. So heres what went into the mix (for 1 serving)
-1/2 cup lentils
-3tbs greek yogurt
-1 squirt yellow (the cheapo kind) mustard
-a few shakes of curry powder
-about 2 tbs of chopped peanuts (I happened to have peanuts, ideally, I would have used cashews)
I mixed it up and dumped in on a salad with Kabocha! Did I mention that if you roast the Kabocha long enough, the skin is not only edible, but ultra delicious! Plus, I’m sure its got some fiber goin on in that skin. Anyhow I love this curried lentil dish! Triple the batch and put it in the fridge for later, I bet the lentils will taste better when they marinate for a while. But honestly, I’m too impatient for that!