BBQ Tostada and Eden’s Culinary Definitions

I mean, if I saw that at a restaurant..I would totally order that!

I’ve been reading my past few entries, and I would like to say I’m sorry, but I dont like them all that much. They are so blah and every time I read them I just want to shoot myself in the foot for not proof reading my posts before I hit “publish”. I just get so eager to just publish and be done with it! They were also a bit sad, except for the barnes and noble one. I admit, even I laughed at that one.

Anyhow, I thought I might tap in to that chef side of me and introduce some culinary terms. Now these aren’t the REAL definitions, but they are my version of them, hence I’m calling them Eden’s Culinary Definitions: I’ll add more every now and then, and there will be a tab for them next to recipes in the near future. Anyhow here are today’s terms:

Bleu: simply a misspelling of the word BLUE, and I have no idea why my culinary school chose to include that error in their name (“Le Cordon Bleu”)

Betty: Layered fruit and bread crumbs dessert. Also, a common name for diner waitresses.

“Download”: The action of pouring a batter or mixture into a pan, bowl, or plate.

Gelatin: A disgusting extraction made from boiled calves feet, hartshorn shavings and sturgeon’s bladders. I actually learned in AP European history back in high school, that the during the French revolution, it was declared a nourishing food. People ate it because they had to. It now comes in fruit flavors and a dessert popular on weight watchers cause it has “no points”. Can we just agree that Jello does not qualify as dessert? You can’t put chocolate in it!

Mille feuille: French for “a thousand leaves” but is really puff pastry which is made in layers of crisp baked pasty separated by cream fillings. Delicious, but too complicated to be made at home. It takes a “thousand” hours to make!

Mise en Place: French for “everything is in place”, often used in reference to the ingredient set up, but I prefer to use it the way Anthony Bourdain uses it, as in “Where the F#*$ is my mise!”

Post Script: basically, dessert!

Poach: to simmer a food in liquid at just below the boiling point — or taking a hot bath, eg, “What I long day, I think I’ll go poach myself”.

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned and hair may be singed when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed. In culinary school, I had no arm hair, and nearly no eyebrows thanks to the “flambee” mishaps.

Robert: One of the oldest of French brown sauces, aka “sauce robert”. Also, a common name for American Presidents

Schmaltz: Used in eastern european Jewish kitchens often; essentially, rendered animal fat. Synonyms: heart attack in pan, “Jewified” butter, and the “yummy” part of any traditional jewish dish.

Sirloin: The loin of beef knighted by James I of England, who was especially fond of that cut of meat.

Tenderloin: The tender part of the loin, what did you thing it was???

Hope that was informative…

And on to some grub.

I was very uninspired at lunch, so I made a tortilla bowl (or a “tostada” sans a spin in the fry daddy) but I filled it with cabbage, spaghetti squash, diced up boca burger (the big ass ones you get at costco), and smothered it with some BBQ sauce and avocado. Quick to make and tasty, so I couldn’t ask for more.


15 thoughts on “BBQ Tostada and Eden’s Culinary Definitions

  1. How about you never apologize for your posts, Ms. Eden? It makes you sound like a nut job, as we love you for you 🙂 I love your definitions and admit that I’m singed my arm hair and eyebrows more than a few times, which is why I generally avoid actual cooking.

  2. I’ve always wondered about Bleu. I think I’m still confused. It’s really just the word blue and they purposely mispell it? I thought it meant something…….

    And yes, I’d order that tostada if it were at a restaurant. I do order tostadas at restaurants!

    ❤ Tori

  3. A shiver ran down my spine when I saw shmaltz … my parents ONLY use that on Passover, no oil. CHICKEN FAT. Which was, at one time, actually considered valid currency in some countries, if you can believe that.

    PS — I am doing something Eden-inspired tomorrow 😉

    ❤ ❤

  4. I LOVE your definitions! They are “spot on”. 🙂 I poached my first egg this year, without any fancy doohickeys. I’m proud! 🙂 I also poached myself in the sulphur springs in St. Lucia last week. 117 degrees! (ouch!) 😀

  5. You are amazing. I have to agree with Abby, never apologize for your posts again! I love reading them. I never feel like they are sad. They are honest and very real. I would seriously LOVE to go to culinary school, there is just so much to learn!

  6. I had no idea that’s what gelatine was. I knew it was something gross from animals. I like all your blog posts! I don’t even bother going over my past ones because I know I’ll read them and be like, “What was I thinking and why did I post that for EVERYONE to see?” After I hit publish, that’s it. It doesn’t exist anymore. It never happened, haha.

  7. Um – I don’t think that the “Bleu” in Cordon Bleu is mispelled…correct me if I’m wrong please! – BUT, is not “Bleu” how the French spell our “Blue”….?

    oh…and don’t apologize for your posts…oh, and also yes, that B&N post was funny 🙂

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