I hate math.
I was always in the “dumb” group in school. I dont know if you had this in your school growing up, but in my schools, there was the smart math class, and the dumb class. I was in the dumb class.
I’m not dumb though. I excelled in English and History, I love history, and I got an A in drama and Israel Dance class (hey, it counted as PE credit).
But I hated math, and I was bad, real bad at it.
Maybe that why I hate my eating disorder. Cause in a way, it’s an evil mathematician. A lot of people, men and women, have a little one in their heads. Counting calories, miles, fat grams, money, points, hits, tweets, “friends” (as in facebook)….its kind of obsessive and it takes over our life.
I was sick with an eating disorder in high school, maybe even more so than I am today, so I always wonder, why was I so bad at math, but I had every calorie and mile I ran down to science. I thought I was bad at everything, once upon a time. I used to think the ONLY thing I was good at is my eating disorder. I was a pro at that. But it was killing me, math was killing me!
I cant lie that this mathematecian still causes me anxiety. And it can take over many forms, like about how much money to spend, or if something, anything, food, exercise, gas milage, is too much or not enough. And the equation of life and recovery fort that matter is not linear and its not an exact science.
Its sad, because I see many bloggers struggle with it too. Obsessing over running times or 1/3 cup of their oatbran or whatever. God forbid the go over….cause the world will end if you have one more almond, or one more gulp of almond milk, or if you decide to rest have an unplanned rest day from exercise. All this math and what does it equal???? not sure, maybe its just no fun, maybe, after all that math, there is no solution to the equation. Because really, we shouldn’t have an equation to begin with.
Where does your mathematician show up? Money, food, exercise, hits, tweets, comments even? Which numbers do you care about?
I have savory pizzas from time to time, but I got some beautiful peaches the other day and thought why not create a fruit pizza? I simply used a large burrito sized tortilla (for more peach surface area) and smothered it with “sauce” which was really just a mixture of raspberry flavored yogurt and greek yogurt. Then I simply laid the sliced peaches all around. After the photo was taken, I actually sprinkled some cocoa powder and cinnamon, and now that I think about it, I should have tried some of that leftover coconut. I actually wanted sliced almonds, but my pantry has been bare lately cause we had a moth infestation (does anybody else get this???? they are like everywhere! taking over my flours and cereals!!!!). Anyhow, the pizza was delicious regardless.
And since I think my readers should laugh a little from my posts, heres something to hopefully make you chuckle: