Peanut Crusted Butternut Squash and “Can You Hear Me Now?”

still hot and bubbly, and I never use an oven mitt, so my hand are full of kitchen battle scars.

I hope all of you had a nice weekend. This weekend at my Yoga training, we had a singer/yoga instructor, Suzanne Sterling, teach us about activism, using sound, and finding our “voice”. It was probably one of my favorite workshops so far in the training.

First of all, Suzanne is pretty amazing. She co-founded the non-profit group, Off The Mat, which does some pretty incredible things for the world. I hope to get more involved with the organizations and maybe attend one of their leadership trainings. But what really touched me was about how Suzanne explained to us we live in a “soup” of sound pollution. This pollution even impacts children’s growth. Think about all the mindless advertisements heard on tv, or even cold, hard gossip. Yoga is healing because it gives us that elusive silence. Its our chance to “rest our ears”. Many people dont appreciate silence, or they are scared by it. And some people are too silent. Many of us were told in childhood not to raise our voices and talk back. But what does that do? It programs us to shut up in times we need to say something and express ourselves. When we dont express what impacts us, we store it as stress and we can get stuck in the trauma. I think thats why I’m so open about my eating disorder. As most of you disagreed with my decision to “come out” on national tv, I almost feel proud I did it after hearing what Suzanne had to say.  The more I talk about my wounds, the less power they have over me. Plus, it gives me the power to inspire and help others express themselves when they have been silent for too long. Even though it may not have been the smartest thing to say on national tv, I think I secretly hoped someone struggeling noticed, and maybe thought about reaching out to get help for themselves.

People may notice that diagnoses for mental disorders only happened in the recent years, but actually, people have been suffering for ages. But they didn’t SPEAK about them, they shut up.

Does that mean there aren’t disruptive, noisy people who maybe say too much? No. As important as it is to speak, it’s just as important to LISTEN.

As a yoga teacher, I learned this weekend that my voice is a powerful tool in shifting the moods and energies of my students. Humans and animals naturally react physically to sound. Even if you dont do it intentionally (like dancing), when you hear a very load base, you feel the vibrations in your hearts.  Sound is a carrier of consciousness.

So although I have some experience teaching, I’m trying to “find my voice”. Its what makes my yoga class unique, cause as we know, voice is like fingerprints. Its uniquely mine.

So I actually have a question for all of you….Were you told not to use your voice? We you ever told not to speak up or maybe to shut up? It scars you a little bit doesnt it. Does that experience affect how much you say today? If you have a blog, do you find you really express yourself? Maybe your blog is a facade, maybe your not really expressing yourself at all.

Personally, I think my blog expresses me pretty throughly. I have no shame in expression, I do think I have a voice, and I’m thankful someone is listening

On to food….

For today’s recipe, I decided to utilized the peanut flour. To be honest, I’m sort of over the peanut flour hype. I still find flax and corn flour make better pancakes and you simply cant compare peanut flour to peanut butter, PB will always have a special place in my heart and my pantry.  But I did buy a bag of it so I used it to coat some butter nut squash. I brushed the squash with coconut oil (or use butter, in fact, please use butter. Yet another very underrated food that people are convinced is bad for you. I just used coconut oil cause I have a whole jar sitting on the counter and I need the counter space) and dipped it in cinnamon and peanut flour.

before baking...


18 thoughts on “Peanut Crusted Butternut Squash and “Can You Hear Me Now?”

  1. I checked out the Offt the Mat program, and I am considering doing their leadership workshop in November. When I was little, I had a babysitter that would always tell me to stop using my voice. Not just to stop talking, but to stop sharing my ideas at all. This has affected me for my entire life!

  2. I am obsessessed with butternut squash.
    Interesting thoughts. I struggle to know my “voice” and I think it may take years to pinpoint exactly what my “voice” is.
    As for hiding it…I was always quiet as a kid, shy, etc…I think there was an unspoken saying in my family to “shut it”….keep the secrets in kind of thing.

  3. I enjoyed this post. I either speak too freely (very honest) or I keep my mouth shut tight and people misconceive that as being snobbish, when really I am just afraid of being an idiot, saying something really stupid. I think my blog is very much “me.” I don’t pretend, I am who I am. It’s easier for me to be that way on my blog too.

  4. I was never overtly told to “shut up,” nor was I encouraged not to do so… but I kind of got the message that I was supposed to keep quiet. My blog is probably about as expressive as I get; not because I’m trying to hide anything, but because I’m just really bad at doing it any other way.

    I have yet to use my peanut flour… *shame*

    ❤ ❤

  5. I’m a huge butternut squash fan (is it fall yet? Please?), so this looks awesome! One thing I’m always working on is being better about speaking up. I think I mostly get this from my mom because she has a hard time saying no to people, and I am exactly the same way. “You need someone to cover your shift? Sure!” “You want to take a whole holiday weekend off?” “Have fun!” Ugh.

  6. I’m one of those people who talks a lot and thinks way too much so I definitely relate to “resting my ears” during yoga. It’s my time to just relax and focus. I need to take more yoga classes, I usually do a yogaworks dvd at home.

  7. Thanks, Eden! I’m psyched to try the sweet potato version!
    I just bought a bunch of zucchini on my lunch break so my husband and I can make grilled, stuffed zucchini this week. The recipe calls for it to be stuffed with couscous, spinach, feta, and some other yummy goodness!

  8. My instinct has always been to keep my mouth shut. Growing up, it was the polite and feminine and “good” thing to do. Keep your opinions and thoughts to yourself…because no one wanted to hear what I had to say (or at least that is what I thought). As much as I have drifted away from my blog due to real life issues that I’m dealing with, it really did give me a voice that I never knew I had. And it gave me a chance to be myself without fear of people judging me (although to be honest, I was still kind of afraid of people doing that…but to a lesser extent than if I went around sharing those kinds of things with people I know). By the way, I didn’t get a chance to comment on your millionaire matchmaker post, but I do think you were brave for saying what you did. I wouldn’t have said it, but that is only because I don’t like to share those things about my past with other people…and I guess that is because I fear judgment and repercussions. I think it shows strength that you accept your past and don’t care who knows about it. And I do think it is helpful to others to send a message that eating disorders should not be such a taboo subject or something that we should all hide in shame for.

    • I completely agree with this. There is so much about my past – who I was, am, etc. – that I feel I want to just write about and be open with – at times – but there’s no way I could because just thinking about all the people – like family, friends, former co-workers, current workers actually knowing all this stuff…God, I’d be looked at like a Freak or something :(…y’know what I mean? That’s horrible to say, but true. I’d just be talked about behind my back and “shunned” and stuff.

      I adore all things squash.

  9. I believe so many women are taught to be “polite” and demure and not speak out very often… I don’t think my parents raised me this way consciously–they did let me know that I could be whatever I wanted, and probably assumed that this meant I’d have to speak up for myself along the way. However, by nature, I was never terribly outspoken–at least not as a young child. This began to change more as I became an angst-y teen, then has changed even more noticeably now that I’m in my mid-30s. I don’t put up with much crap anymore, and I can be pretty outspoken when I have a strong belief in something. For instance, I get very upset if I EVER see an animal abused, loose and roaming close to a road (I will get out of my car and take the situation into my own hands if necessary), or in a shitty situation. I also have strong political beliefs (bleeding heart liberal in the house!) and rarely keep my mouth shut on these matters…
    However, some part of me is still very apologetic when I’m “out in the world”, if I feel I might have wronged someone by mistake, even. I realize I still apologize for my existence to a distressing degree, and I know so many women are like this, too.
    The whole “apologizing” thing seems to match up perfectly with my ED… It’s like making myself as TINY as possible would somehow make me less visible, would mean I’d take up less space on the earth, and would somehow make me “acceptable.” How effed up is that??
    But clearly I have a voice, and I’m using it more than I ever did. And I have to say, I’m damn proud of myself for that.

    • you should be! And i agree with a lot of what you said. My therapist used to ask me, “Eden, you are so great, why do you want to minimize yourself, there should be MORE of you in this world!”

  10. It’s really hard for us–esp. as women–NOT to minimize ourselves, though… I definitely know that I still do it in ways. However, I think I have a fairly big mouth now. 😉 HA!
    I guess my “minimizing” still comes when I over-exercise… It’s very depleting and exhausting, but it’s the whole “I don’t deserve the food I just ate” mindset. So, in that way, I still have work to do!!
    But that doesn’t mean I can’t yell, curse, and declare my strong beliefs in certain things. 🙂

  11. this peanut flour is ALL over the place!! i think I need to get some and experiment! fall means squash! i love it 🙂

    i tend to always speak my mind, which can be good sometimes but other times I should probably keep my mouth shut! haha

  12. Brilliant sweet potato idea! i love just baking mine and spreading it with almond butter.
    Finding my own voice is definitely something I’m working on in a number of ways. One is my own self confidence, learning to speak up for myself, learning that I deserve to and that people will hear me, I have valid opinions and ideas. I’m also learning to listen to myself, because while, yes, it is important to know that I deserve for other people to hear me, the most important person is me and I’m not very in tune with me, unfortunately.
    I’m also working on my voice in yoga training. I love my training because it’s very very focused on the practical aspects of teaching. We spend most of our time just practicing teaching small classes of our peers, learning adjustments, and learning how to clearly lead a class through poses through our instructions. I know I’m doing well, and my instructor is very happy with my progress, I have a really strong practice, I know the poses, I know the techniques, etc, but I’ve always been very soft spoken, and I have a hard time, particularly when it’s something I’m not confidant about doing yet, really speaking loudly, clearly, and enthusiastically. So I’m working on showing leadership and poise in front of a studio of students!

    Also, one of my favorite yoga instructors/ now friend 🙂 is doing the “off the mat” program this year along with another beautiful yoga instructor in Houston! I’ve helped with and attended several of her fundraising events these last few months and am so excited for them, I really wish I could join them! They’re going to South Africa in January to help with AIDS/ HIV education and prevention efforts. I would love to meet Suzanne too, I’ve heard so many great things about her!

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