Sweet Potato Masher, The Date Debate, and Giveaway winner!

it made more, but I didnt think dumping my whole batch would look as pretty

About a year ago, I was on a very mindless show called “Millionaire Matchmaker”. For those unfamiliar with it, its a reality show on the very “queerly” run Bravo channel. The show follows a “matchmaker”. Some middle aged, botoxed broad named Patti Stanger. She has a “millionaire’s club” which consists of sad, semi-wealthy, sorry men that for some reason lack charm as they can’t seem to get a girlfriend. Or maybe they just dont know how to pay, um “professionals” (I always wonder if hookers these days take debit or credit cards…hmmmm…..and is there a tax on that? There should be). Anyhow, Patti “screens” girls and gathers them up for a mixer so her flock of women can meet her millionaires. Its actually a pretty awful premise.

Why did I go on the show? Good question. I still wonder why I did. It was an impulse decision and a rather long story. But basically, I auditioned for a cooking show with the same casting company. They were probably sick of actresses and models so they thought maybe I would be a refreshing change. I got a call and thought, “I do watch that show when I need to bring down my IQ a bit. It would be funny if I actually was on such a stupid show. What the hey, I’ll do it.”

It actually didn’t hit me that I was actually potentially going to date someone until I got to the first filming.

I will talk about my experience about the show in a future post. There’s so much to write about. My mind is spinning at the thought of it. But I’m curious to hear your opinions about a debate that my “situation” on the show sparked.

You see, on the show, at this “mixer” both guys are supposed to pick two girls to have a mini 10 minute date with. After they get a feeling for those two, they pick one to have a “master” date with.

Since I’m stunning, and since the other girls on the show were extension wearing 20-30 year old “models/actresses/singers” (although “waitresses” would have summed all those professions up), the two guys chose me.

Its weird, every guy I had a crush on never gave me a second look, but every douche/nerd I come across is attracted to me. I also have a rather strong suspicion they both picked me because I mentioned I was a chef. Yea, I guess guys want a woman that can cook. Little to they know, I also know how to use a knife properly, so if they annoy me, I can fillet their ass.

But I digress……

So they both picked me for a mini date. I was actually semi freaking out because I really wasn’t attracted to either of them, and the thought of possibly going on a day-long date made me throw up a little in my mouth (sorry about the tmi). The first guy was actually kinda cool. I would never date him, but he seemed like he’d be a good male friend. I actually have more male friends that female ones. Anyhow, during the ten minuets he asked me all sorts of questions about my life (incase you saw the show, all this stuff got cut out). Then he asked what I did after culinary school. I’m sure he was expecting to hear that I went off to work with Wolfgang Puck or something. But I straight up told him the truth, “I went to rehab, I had a very bad eating disorder.”

He actually wasn’t as shocked as the show made him seem. This was cut out of the show, but he went on to talk about his uncle had anorexia and how he was senseative to the disease….blah, blah, blah, blah. Patti whisked me away after we were done and threw me back to the cattle of blonde date contenders.

And this is where it gets juicy.

Patti pulled me aside and asked me not to tell the next date about my “anorexia”.

I stabbed her lips to leak out the collagen with her own acrylic nails! Well, in my mind I did.

I did not appreciate her diagnosing me. Not that I think its offensive to call someone “anorexic” but she had no idea about my history and what my eating disorder consisted of. Mostly, I was just pissed that she wanted me to censor myself. Long story short, I didn’t mention it on the next date, both guys didn’t pick me, and I got to keep my lunch in my stomach. Yay.

After the show aired in January, I looked at the online forums on Bravo.com and the saw they were debating my mentioning of my disorder on a first date. A lot of people agreed with Patti and thought that is not something that should be disclosed on a first date. Some (very few), thought I was brave.

I do regret it a little. But I was scarred I’d actually have to go on a date with these losers, so maybe I was trying to self sabotage myself. But even if these guys had potential, I’m not sure I would leave that part about me out if they asked. Its not like I sat down and said, “My name is so and so, and I have an eating disorder! Let me tell you all about it!”

I may not be proud of it, but its part of what builds my character. It totally damaged me physically and emotionally, but I think without it, I wouldn’t have learned so much about myself. I actually wrote a “Thank You”  letter to me eating disorder while I was in treatment. The goal was to acknowledge what my disorder gave me, thank it, and then leave it. My eating disorder history is baggage, and they should know what they are getting themselves into. Not that baggage is bad. Kids are baggage, exes are baggage, and even your job can be baggage. I just like to know how heavy my baggage is before I pick it up. And personally, if he’s too weak to pick up my baggage, I dont want him to even try.

So what do you think? Did I do the right thing? If you don’t agree with my decision, I won’t hold it against you. Be honest. Would you disclose information like that on a first date?

And now for something completely different (this is a monty python reference….for my fellow python fans out there):

Today my recipe is for a new way to eat sweet potatoes! One of my favorite combos is cold, creamy cottage cheese with a hot sweet potato. Well, I didn’t have cottage cheese in the fridge, so I substituted greek yogurt. So I made a delicious sweet potato mash with:

perfectly roasted via microwave, how very "chef-y" of me

-1 whole steamed sweet potato (if you have patience and time, roast is in the oven, but I wrapped it in plastic, poked holes with a fork and let the microwave spin for four minuets)

-about 1/2 cup of greek yogurt (didn’t really measure but a few big “galob fulls”)

-1 tablespoon raw almond butter (actually, any butter would do, probably better with real butter, remember that?)

-dash of cinnamon

-a few squirts of cheapo yellow mustard (as Heather reminds me, sometimes the cheapo condiments are the secret ingredients!).

Blend it all up. I poured the mash over crunchy nappa cabbage which is an excellent contrast with the creaminess of the mash. I’m such a texture eater. I need to have different, contrasting textures. I blame my culinary school education. Anyhow, this is delicious, and a great way to eat a sweet potato, although I think it will be paired with cottage cheese when I have some in stock.

The Nu Naturals giveaway winner is…….April (from “The Weigh I am”). I m actually glad she won cause I know she thought she won on that fiber gourmet giveaway but it was a different April. April is so popular in the blogosphere!

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25 thoughts on “Sweet Potato Masher, The Date Debate, and Giveaway winner!

  1. A) I heart Python.

    B) I don’t think you were wrong to disclose your eating disorder on the first date…If a guy runs at the first mention of something like that, that’s on him, not you. And it’s a good way to weed out creepers!

  2. OK. I love this post for so many reasons, not the least of which because sweet potatoes and cottage cheese is one of my favorite combinations. Anyway, I think it’s so cool that you have that TV experience under your belt, as even if it was a little douchey, it’s something only a hand full of people can say they’ve done.

    That said, it’s your right to tell the guy anything you want. I don’t know that I would have come out and said it right away, but if the “relationship” actually progressed, I would feel obligated to let him in on it. I’m not ashamed and it’s part of my history, but it’s also something I just don’t talk about with people I don’t know.

    Patti can suck it, as far as I’m concerned. If they want a perfect script, write one.

    P.S. Every guy I have a crush on couldn’t care less or give me a second look, but every guy I like as a “friend” (I basically have no female friends) ends up mucking it up with a crush of his own. Why can’t it be the other way around?

  3. Sweet potatoes + yogurt + nut butter = awesome snack.

    Add shredded coconut and chocolate chips on top 🙂

    As for the show, I think you did what your instinct told you to do at that time.
    You cannot fault that.
    Personally, for me, I don’t think I would say anything about my personal-personal history…but, who knows what you were feeling at that time. Things might happen for a reason. Plus, some people want to say it, want to share it.

    I think its very very individual.

    Stereotypes are what bother me. That is why I don’t like to say I am depressed, or I am sad, or I am this or I am that…that is why my blog gets on my nerves at times, cause I feel it tucks me into a certain stereotype and it never gets conveyed right, ha….

    can’t believe u were are that show….u are a celebrity 🙂

    Try out for Master Chef or Hells’ Kitchen sometime…or big brother…all the bloggers would tune in to see u 🙂

  4. Everytime I read your blog, I find out something about you that I never would have guessed.

    That’s a very interesting story–I’ve actually seen that show!

    To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it. Esp on TV–people are always so out there to judge. BUT, I also haven’t had an eating disorder so I dont feel like I can fully comprehend the impact it has had on your life, so if I was in your shoes, I might’ve done the same thing.

    Either way, I think you’re brave 🙂

  5. LOL on the cheapo condiments 😉 I still have not tried adding a nut butter to my sweet potatoes. Word on the street is that it’s delish.

    Personally, I might not share something like that on a first date but, maybe that’s a personality difference? Then again, maybe you are right and you were trying to sabotage the date. We all do things like that consciously or subconsciously I think. And I think that the key to life period is to live and learn from everything thrown our way.

  6. This is going to be an unpopular answer, but there’s a clear double standard here. Girls aren’t the only ones who screen for “red flags.” Any guy who sees a red flag and runs will be accused of insensitivity. A girl who sees a red flag and runs will be considered a hero. My take is this: admit it if you want, but if someone goes running the other way just acknowledge that you’ve made a mistake and take your lumps for it. I’ve been turned down for reasons I thought were stupid, but those girls have a right to choose who to spend their time and/or life with. If I wanted otherwise, then I should have made different choices. And, quite frankly, I know of at least two who now regret their decisions.
    You have so many other awesome and redeeming qualities, though, that I wouldn’t even worry about it.

    • thanks for commenting, i was hoping to hear what my guy readers would say about this. I know guys see red flags, and the guys on the show were lame, so i was hoping they’d run. I dont worry about it too much, and thanks for reminding me I’m pretty damn awesome.

  7. I personally know I wouldn’t have told the guy about my anorexia. But as to whether I think you’re right for doing it, is another question. I think it was brave, honest, and entirely exceptable for you to tell him. Dating someone is getting to know them. He asked you a question and you gave him the answer. What were you suppose to do, lie? If that’s what the millionare matchmaker tells her female contenders to do, then eventually the relationships will be based on lies. You are totally right. If a guy can’t handle that part of us, whether it’s in the past or not, then he shouldn’t be in our lives. It’s hard to think about how censored anorexia is in society. Maybe if more people were comfortable talking about it, then girls would be too. And it would educate them better as to how they can take precautions. Maybe it would save someones life.

    ❤ Tori

  8. Eden, that is such an interesting experience. I have never brought up my eating disorder on a first date, but it is something I bring up when I am getting close to people. I mean, I allude to it on my blog and I do own it as being part of what builds my character. It does not and will never define me, but like you said, it taught me so much about who I am and what I love. Without it, I would never have found solace in painting and I would not have developed such a passion for cooking or yoga. It helped me to look at my life as more than just getting straight A’s and being “successful”. It made me human, and human is good!
    I can’t wait to hear more about your experience and more about you.

  9. I actually saw that episode! I feel like if you wanted to mention it, you had every right to. Just because you said you had/have an eating disorder doesn’t mean it has to be a huge deal. It’s just a a big part of who you are today, right? I don’t see any problem with it.

    I am always browsing the blogs for new ways to make sweet potatoes. I tried it topped with peanut butter yesterday and it was so good. Now I have another way to try it. Super excited since I basically eat a sweet potato every day.

  10. Ooh, I did watch that series for a time, and I’m sure I saw your ep! I want to try to find it again… I love what you say about Patti. Honestly, I think she’s a huge bitch. Oops, did I just say that?? Turning 35 is making me all sorts of snarky!
    I think that you did what you felt was right for YOU in that situation, and I give you a lot of credit. I’m not sure I could have been so brave, to be honest, but that does not mean I think what you did was wrong. I think I’m just a wuss. 😉
    You go, woman!
    Tiffany

  11. i don’t think it’s a right or wrong situation in my opinion. it’s just a matter of what you want to disclose to others about your life! it’s up to you and i don’t think it’s right that patti could tell you what you can tell to other people but i think in the end its your decision on what people should or are privileged to know about you 🙂

    bravo still and forever will make my heart pitter patter haha

  12. I think it is totally up to you what you want to disclose on a first date. I usually like to wait a while (or I used to before I was married) before I would tell people things that they might not like. Or that I felt weird talking about. Totally a matter of opinion!

  13. I don’t think your were in the wrong for saying you had an eating disorder. Patti should have never told you not to say it, either. Nor should she have assumed it was anorexia. If those dating shows want to be semi-real..then they should have a little controvery in them. *Real* controversy. Not saying it was bad..but it was better than the cliche “I wanna be a famous chef” type of thing like you said.

    And I agree, ED’s aren’t baggage- you go through them, learn from them, and move one. They help make you who you are. I’m glad I went through mine just like you’re glad you went through yours. If I hadn’t, I wouldnt have found my passion in nutrition or a love for yoga. Everything happens for a reason, no point in hiding it.

  14. im really open in general and i could see myself sayingg the exact same thing, especially if i felt comfortable on the date with the person. u werent too candid about it you were just more matter of fact, and that takes a strong person ❤

  15. i personally would never, ever, ever have revealed info that personal a. on natl t.v. b. on a first date and c. in a “date” that was only going to last 10 mins. If Im being honest, there are 98789878 other things I would have talked about. But this is me. You are you and you did what you wanted to and felt was the right call, for you, in that situation. But for me, naw, never would have gone there. I blog about lots of stuff and in many ways am an open book but some things are just not for public consumption for me personally. Thanks for this post and the deets. I knew much of it but fun to read!

  16. I meant to comment on this when I actually read it, but I usually read blogs while walking to work on my phone, and it’s hard to comment with a touch screen 😀

    I don’t know if I would have told. I think I would, now, if I were dating again. I didn’t develop an ED until after I was with my boyfriend (now husband) and I don’t know how he would have reacted if I’d had one before I knew him and told him. I think that the kind of guy I’d go for would be the kind of guy who understands mental disorders.

    I was talking about ED’s with one of my husband’s friends the other day though (he did not know I’d had one) and was pretty condescending about them. He had the idea that they were the result of being immature and petty, and wanting to look like a model. So obviously you have to judge whether or not the person will actually know what an ED truly is. If that makes sense. I don’t know if this guy is one I would have wanted to date anyway though. So maybe I would have told him about it to get him to back off, if he’d been hitting on me when I was still single and looking.

    Hm. Veeeery interesting. Wish more guys chimed in. I’d like to hear their thoughts.

    Anyway, in general I’m pretty open about having an ED. If anyone starts complimenting me about how I’m thin or asking how I did it, I say “you do not want to do it the way I did” and explain (briefly). Because people seem to glamorize ED’s and in general there’s not enough awareness.

    Ok this is now a really long comment.

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  19. I got unbearably curious and plus I wanted to see your pretty face on TV, so I’m watching the show right now. First of all, you’re awesome and witty and I would probably pick you anyway because you’re just more interesting in general. But I’m not a Jewish millionaire living in LA so yeah. ALSO, did you talk to that girl with the high high high (holy shit I hate her) ditsy voice and brown curly hair? Jaysus. Also, this show exemplifies the power of editing. Also, I hated Patti from the first second of the show, and she is fake bitch, or a bitchy fake. Also… I don’t watch reality TV but I think this is a good example of why I shouldn’t.

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