I was reading a fabulous post Heather wrote a few days ago about how she figured out the best way to eat for her body. It involved a lot of trial and error, and I’m glad she found what works.
However, this got me thinking about how this would apply to people with some serious weight restoration, or who have had weight restored after an eating disorder.
Now, Heather is brilliant in that she was able to sit back, and really examine her bodily reactions and feelings on certain “diets”. But to be honest, I don’t think I’m quiet there yet. I think most recovering or maybe even recovered people aren’t either. I wont even go into people who are in the depths of their disorder, this defiently does NOT apply to them. But even after some or all weight restoration, I question whether someone is “ready” to really find their “way to eat”.
Why? Well for one, I think the eating disordered brain is still wired to believe those myths engraved in our minds. So much so, that we’ll begin to think we look and feel great on a diet of frozen yogurt and egg whites. Or that we are “really energetic” when we eat only protein or non-fat or whatever eating disorder fad you on. I say that because eating disorders are not diets. You go on a diet, you go off one. I sure wish it were that simple.
“I’m struggling with an eating disorder”
“O well, just go off that diet! Problem solved”
Yea, it aint that simple. Eating disorders will convince us that we feel “better” eating egg whites only, and we might totally dismiss the signs that our bodies are lacking not only nutrients, but unmet desires. When “refeeding” I think its beyond just simple nutrition, its giving into our desires. Society has us to believe its “shameful” to give in to desires. How many times have you seen “guilt-free!” on a label. Even on blogs, and hell I do it to! We change brownie recipes to add more protein or less fat or whatever so that we’ll satiate our craving without giving our body what it REALLY wants, an effeing brownie! I do think if modifying is a step to having the real thing, go for it. But dont forget about what your trying to copy.
That being said, I dont know if I can adopt Heather’s way. I’m hopeful that maybe I’ll get there in the near future, but I dont think I should even bother “experimenting” just yet. Believe me, I’ve been tempted. Its hard not to when you see such positive attitudes towards certain ways of eating and all the cool recipes. I’m still very ingrigued by the raw movement and I’m totally dying for a dehydrator. But with my twisted brain, I know its dangerous for me to start restricting a certain food group or temperature I guess. I do think I’m far enough where I can maybe do “modified” experiments, like maybe going easy on the dairy (because of tummy issues), but then I also wonder if neglecting my greek yogurt cravings is mentally healthy.
And some people dont have any eating disorder history and still might not be considered “ready”. Our minds are tricky, and we’ll convince ourselves to like certain things we dont. Like in those studies where they told people with a headache to take a medicine, only to find out it was a sugar pill, and yet they reported feeling better.
I try to be honest these days. For instance, I know those “Green Monsters” are healthy and all, but I just dont like drinking my spinach! I much rather have it in a sandwich or salad, I’d like to chew it. And for the longest time I was convinced “running” made me feel better. I totally neglected that my bones were whittling down and before you knew it, I had osteoporosis.
Our tricky little minds of ours! So what about you? Have you ever tried to make yourself believe something? Maybe your struggling with coming to terms with your own truth. I really aspire to have that true mind/body connection and leave out the mental BS like Heather did. For now, I think I’m doing ok in calling out the BS, but to be safe, I’ll steer clear of drastic experiments.
By the way I pick the tortilla giveaway monday evening so get you comments in!