Updates, raw almond pesto, and vanity

Atop of spaghetti squash!

So before I get into today’s recipe and other rambling I wanted to update you on a few aspect of my life:

Gym thief: The gym manager does indeed think its her after some investigation, however, we heard from the other member that had 800 bucks stolen from her that

Yoga Teacher Training: going well, still really into the whole Ayurveda thing and want to investigate it more. Tomorrow is my second class assisting, this time, he’s letting me make adjustments on people. This is kinda freaking me out, I’m afraid I’ll adjust wrong and injure someone. I smell a lawsuit

I did something recently very unlike me recently. I flexed in front of the mirror. WTF???

Many people think eating and exercise disorders stem from vanity. I won’t argue that it may be true for some cases, but truly ingrained disorders usually have nothing to do with vanity. At my rock bottom, I wasn’t attractive. In fact, I think I was down right repulsive. A part of me thinks I subconsciously knew that.

I wanted to minimize myself as much as possible. Its such a sad thing but true. I often remind myself that I’m way too awesome to be downsized.

So why the hell was I flexing?

Granted, I was alone (believe me, I would never allow myself to do such a thing in front of a live creature, yep, plants and pets included).  But I’ll tell you what, since becoming a yoga teacher, I feel somewhat responsible to look the part. Not that there is an ideal image of what a yoga teacher should look like, but I would like to appear strong, soft, and powerful. I don’t want them to see a frail, weak, and timid person. I’m not suggesting I’m weak or frail at the moment, but I’d like to appear stronger, inside and out. I don’t have a clear picture of what that strength is, or if it can even be seen through a bicep via flexing, but I do feel there is this inner strength I’m striving for. Maybe I’m being vain by saying this, but I do feel like my workouts have been geared more towards “appearance” rather than mental sanity, like it has been in the past.


But if the desire to look strong is whats keeping me away from running 10 miles a day and waking up my exercise addiction from hibernation, than bring on the vanity.

Why do you exercise/eat the way you do? Is it to maintain sanity, “health”, are you a little vain like me?

I have no clever transition to my recipe, so here is is!

I accidentally bought raw CRUNCHY almond butter (when I meant to buy CREAMY) but I though maybe I could turn it into a pesto!

This is so flavorful and super simple:

-a couple of raw cauliflower florets

-about a tablespoon of raw almond butter

-5 or six big basil leaves

-1 garlic clove

pulse in a blender, food processor, or magic bullet, make enough for ONE serving so if your making it for a crowd, quadruple it!

13 thoughts on “Updates, raw almond pesto, and vanity

  1. I confess that part of the reason why I workout, run, and do yoga is for vanity purposes. But through these exercises I’ve found how calming getting a little sweat here and there can be! You feel elated too!

    Genious idea for the raw pesto sauce!

  2. Far too awesome! 🙂
    And I agree.. when I was dealing with an ED it also was not a vanity thing.. all a head thing. And it’s funny, now I compete in a sport that is completely about how you look, and I’ve never been more comfortable with not looking a certain way… working out or yoga just make me happy & confident no matter.

  3. I have to admit, I do yoga because i like the way it makes my body feel. Strong shoulders, leg, flexible. Nothing wrong with that. Well, at least I don’t think so. It gives me confidence! So, when you become a certified Yoga instructor, can I come to your classes? hehe.

  4. Very interesting combo – but I can totally see how it would work. Yum. I readily admit to a bit of flexing in the mirror. I workout for both reasons: health and vanity. I love see the results from my hard work. I love showing it off now – well, except for bikini shots (like on my blog) but I’m getting more used to it.

  5. I am a strange breed of vain person… I hate mirrors. Always have. And yet, half of the reason why I work out is due to vanity. Now that I think of it, I don’t know how this makes any sense. (The other half is totally psychological… I go a little stir-crazy if I don’t work out.)

    Question: I hate pesto, so I wouldn’t know, but my brother loves it — does this taste like “real” pesto??

    ❤ ❤

  6. I LOVE this post! Made me smile! I flex when I’m alone all the time. My Mom has amazing arm muscles and I want to be strong like her. It’s like I know how strong she is inside and the muscles are just busting out of her. Also struggled with a ED and I’ve read ED is linked to OCD which was correct for me. And Finally I think it’s so cool your becoming a yoga teacher- I do not smell a law suit! I think I see some really excited clients

  7. is it weird if i’m not really sure why i workout? i feel like for fun/to feel good/because it makes me feel strong? but those are stupid answers haha so i guess vanity? although i’m not really sure its vanity. i have flexed before. ain’t no shame in that 😉

    i like that sauuuuuce! i want to make pesto today but i need to get some pine nuts! can i just use almonds instead you think??

  8. Love this post. I totally know how you feel. I actually did the same thing recently- ‘caught myself’ flexing. I was like whoa, but it was also exciting @ the same time because now I can VALUE strength & appreciate how HARD I’ve worked for it…and that’s there more to exercising than JUST running.

  9. That’s a really unique recipe! 🙂 And it looks so good. I think I’ll make some! By the way, always feel free to be blunt. I don’t mind at all.

  10. I think ED have nothing to do with vanity- they simply mask themselves as such. I think is has to do with underlying feelings and a need for some control over ones life.
    Why do I work out? Because I love how it feels after a workout, I love the calm and inner-peace it provides me, and besides taking care of my health, it makes me HAPPY and feel alive! Also- I feel I am contributing and doing a service to my fellow human beings, because it makes me happy and pleasant/non cranky!

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