Updates, raw almond pesto, and vanity

Atop of spaghetti squash!

So before I get into today’s recipe and other rambling I wanted to update you on a few aspect of my life:

Gym thief: The gym manager does indeed think its her after some investigation, however, we heard from the other member that had 800 bucks stolen from her that

Yoga Teacher Training: going well, still really into the whole Ayurveda thing and want to investigate it more. Tomorrow is my second class assisting, this time, he’s letting me make adjustments on people. This is kinda freaking me out, I’m afraid I’ll adjust wrong and injure someone. I smell a lawsuit

I did something recently very unlike me recently. I flexed in front of the mirror. WTF???

Many people think eating and exercise disorders stem from vanity. I won’t argue that it may be true for some cases, but truly ingrained disorders usually have nothing to do with vanity. At my rock bottom, I wasn’t attractive. In fact, I think I was down right repulsive. A part of me thinks I subconsciously knew that.

I wanted to minimize myself as much as possible. Its such a sad thing but true. I often remind myself that I’m way too awesome to be downsized.

So why the hell was I flexing?

Granted, I was alone (believe me, I would never allow myself to do such a thing in front of a live creature, yep, plants and pets included).  But I’ll tell you what, since becoming a yoga teacher, I feel somewhat responsible to look the part. Not that there is an ideal image of what a yoga teacher should look like, but I would like to appear strong, soft, and powerful. I don’t want them to see a frail, weak, and timid person. I’m not suggesting I’m weak or frail at the moment, but I’d like to appear stronger, inside and out. I don’t have a clear picture of what that strength is, or if it can even be seen through a bicep via flexing, but I do feel there is this inner strength I’m striving for. Maybe I’m being vain by saying this, but I do feel like my workouts have been geared more towards “appearance” rather than mental sanity, like it has been in the past.

Strange.

But if the desire to look strong is whats keeping me away from running 10 miles a day and waking up my exercise addiction from hibernation, than bring on the vanity.

Why do you exercise/eat the way you do? Is it to maintain sanity, “health”, are you a little vain like me?

I have no clever transition to my recipe, so here is is!

I accidentally bought raw CRUNCHY almond butter (when I meant to buy CREAMY) but I though maybe I could turn it into a pesto!

This is so flavorful and super simple:

-a couple of raw cauliflower florets

-about a tablespoon of raw almond butter

-5 or six big basil leaves

-1 garlic clove

pulse in a blender, food processor, or magic bullet, make enough for ONE serving so if your making it for a crowd, quadruple it!