Pecan Walnut Pesto and “Thanks for Giving” Letter to Trader Joe’s

I’ve decided to write thank you letters for this week in honor of thanksgiving. Some will be sarcastic, some will be heartfelt, and some will be plain silly. This will all lead up to a wonderful thanksgiving spread as I’m hosting thanksgiving at my dad’s house for, gasp, 20 people (this is a lot for me!). So to kick “thanks for giving letters week”, I’ve decided the first one should be to my favorite grocery store, Trader Joe’s.

Dear Trader Joe’s,

You have come a long way my friend. I love that you are an integral part of middle-class life.  Mainly, because your too-narrow aisles are lined with bourgeois products at proletarian prices. Even if you prefer the quality or selection at a fancier store, once you know something like chèvre or rack of lamb is available for half the price at TJ’s, you feel foolish buying them elsewhere.

Lets talk about the prices. You make that inner frugal jew in me very happy. I often hear people say, “Wow, that was cheaper than I expected!” How often does that happen at Whole Foods?

And this would make for some satisfied Jewish monkeys

and frugal alcoholics

And I’m very blessed and thankful you are so nearby me! I feel great remorse for people like Susan and Janetha that aren’t graced with your presence. But being a Los Angelino, I’m blessed with three Trader Joe’s within a mile from my apartment.

Yes! one in every neighborhood!

And lets just talk for a minute about “winky”. At our local Trader Joe’s, a small stuffed toy sheep named Winky is hidden somewhere on the shelves. This means kids are on a scavenger hunt and not crying and hindering my shopping experience. So a big thanks to “Winky”. When kids find Winky, they take him to the customer service desk for a prize before hiding him for the next pint-sized shopper. I have no clue what the prize is although I have found winky myself a few times, but I’m hoping its trader’s fleur de sel caramel sauce (see pic below), although that might be a wee bit too sophisticated for their tastes.

And thank you for not plaguing my tv with commercials! I can’t tell you how annoying those can be for local grocery stores! All you really have as far as advertising is the  newsletter, the “Fearless Flyer,” that outlines new products, suggests recipes, and elicits more laughs than the Sunday paper’s comics pages.

And for some straight forward thanks, thank you for:

cheap eggs

cheap greek yogurt

your BBQ popped potato chips

There is no excuse not to like these. I dont even like BBQ flavored chips but somehow I love these.

your spicy ranchero egg white salad

your frozen brown rice

your almond butter

and last but not least, you chocolate covered peppermint JoeJoes that only seem to pop up once a year for about a week. But I will pounce on them that week and let the orgasim in my mouth begin!

Yes, your parking lots suck some serious butt. I’m often gauranteed NOT to find every single thing on my shopping list, and I simply cant live without chemicals available in major chain gorcery store (diet pepsi anyone?). You are sadly not a one-stop shopping solution. But all in all, thanks traders! You keep my wallet fat, most of your male workers provide nice eye candy, and my taste buds are satisfied. Just dont mock me if I bring “winky” in for a prize.

-Eden

And for your viewing pleasure, the “unofficial Trader Joe’s commercial”: (watch the whole thing, trust me)

And to celebrate my giving thanks to Trader Joe’s, I thought I’d make a recipe made out of things recently purchased there. So why not walnut/pecan pesto? (where else can you buy walnuts for about five bucks a pound?)

you will need….

-handful of fresh basil

2.50 for a box full o' fresh basil! This would make Italian Jews everywhere very happy!

-2 tbs pecans

-2 tbs walnuts

-garlic powder (or real garlic cloves if you’ve got them handy and are willing to have you fingernails repel vampires for a week)

-salt

-about 2 tbs parmesan cheese (or nutritional yeast for those vegans)

-about 1/4 cup or so of water (I like a little water to help it be more “saucy” but you can omit it if you like it chunky.

Simply combine all the ingredients together in a high speed blender/food processor/magic bullet and let it rip! Pour over pasta, spread on a sammie, or ugh do what I do sometimes and eat off a spoon!

27 thoughts on “Pecan Walnut Pesto and “Thanks for Giving” Letter to Trader Joe’s

  1. Everyone can suck it, as the closest Trader Joes or Whole Foods is more than three hours away from me.

    However, I still love you. Twenty people for the Thanksgiving shindig? Does Trader Joes sell liquor? OY!

  2. Feel sorry for me too – I’m in Canada and we have ZERO Trader Joes here. Makes me want to cry because they sound amazing.

    Do adults get prizes too for finding Winky? I want to go Winky hunting! …… TWSS?

  3. They don’t have Trader Joes in Texas either, which makes me sad. The only time I have gone to one was in Wisconsin and I loved it! I bought peanut butter and bagels and really delicious apples. Love the commercial!

  4. Okay so I don’t live any where near a Trader Joe’s, and I might die before I ever go to one in person. This feels like you’re rubing it in my face! Haha! :)

    I know there’s a Whole Foods about an hour away from where I live. I really wanna go!!

  5. “And this would make for some satisfied Jewish monkeys”
    My computer is not happy with you. Because I just snorted all over the keyboard.

    I wish I had a TJ’s in Houston! I really took for granted the one I had just down the street from me in San Fran.

    Oooh, I like the pecan twist! Screw pine nuts–those suckers are way too expensive right now.

  6. I LOVE this :) :) Too bad I don’t have a trader joe’s nearby :( My grandparents go nuts for it, though, and they took me to one once while I visited in Arizona. They also sent me a gift bag full of Trader Joe’s Goodies for Christmas once :) Ha!

    That video is Hilarious!!!! I could watch that again.

  7. What is that thing underneath the pesto? Shredded potatoes?

    I’m an Angeleno, but I haven’t been to TJs in months. I hate how everything is so spread out.

    Have you chosen a lunch place yet? ;-)

  8. Whole Foods isn’t terrible for every item. In fact, I’ve found some deals there, but you would really have to know the ins and outs. :) They are actually carrying a new line of wine that is to match the $2 Charles Shaw. They have signs up that say “Chuck the Chuck.” It’s kinda hilarious.

    I do love TJs though. :)

  9. When I die I want to be buried in Trader Joes. I want my body to be on exhibit there, somewhere need the 2 Buck Chuck.

    Thats how much I love Trader Joes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s